What Follows 28?

So, I've just completed 28 days following the Fast Metabolism Diet in strict adherence.  I reached my goal and I feel great. I am craving a cup of coffee with cream again. Can I drink it? What about the foods I avoided while following the 28 day regime? I don't want to lose the healthy glow I have or the energy I feel. What next?

Maintenance can sometimes be an unpopular activity. I know from all my previous weight loss journeys that it is often harder than the diet was.

Weight management wasn't an issue for me as a teen. I was a skinny little freckled face farm girl growing up. Even though I gained a TON of weight during both my pregnancies (60# with the first, 45# with the second) I managed to lose all of but 5# with in the first year of their births. And truly at the time, I needed that extra weight. I was too thin.

I didn't start having issues with unwanted weight gain until I was separated from my first husband. For the first time in my adult life I didn't have anyone controlling what I ate so, I ate whatever I wanted. (A lot of despair and anger was soothed by the midnight munchies, a lot of stifled aggression diverted by the drive thru window of Micky-D's) As a result I quickly packed on the pounds. Then life got more settled and calm, I was working a full time job and slowly the weight came back down.

I fell in love and we got married. Happy and content to play homemaker again I started banging out all kinds of wonderful in the kitchen. Aaaannnnnd, the weight crept back on. When one day I saw a picture of myself I knew I had reached the point of desperately needing to do something.

the picture that spurred me to change.

I joined Weight Watchers. I was successful with the program and by the end of the first year had reached my goal. I kept the weight off for several years, then slowly it started creeping back on. Maintenance wasn't going so well.

Next came Curves. Running my own business, working out every day, following the weight management program we promoted, I quickly lost weight. Then the stress of running my own business took it's toll and slowly but surely the weight snuck back on. It seems to be a never ending story with me! Lose it, Gain it. Lost it, Gain it. Aaaaaaghhhh!

The thing each of these weight loss stories have in common was the maintenance phase. Each time I reached a goal and started living out life in maintenance mode, it would only last for so long. Why? Because I had been counting calories or counting points or following specific meal plans and as soon as I returned to eating without counting, my body greedily grabbed hold of each morsel of caloric/ fat and stacked it back on. That is why this 28 Day Fast Metabolism Diet held such appeal. I wanted a metabolism that was on fire! I wanted my food to properly fuel me, to be my ally not my enemy.

So, back to my original question. Can I have my coffee with cream? After following specific phases of eating each week and avoiding certain foods, what do I do now?

Well, since wheat and gluten and corn were already on my "do not touch" list due to food allergies I have no issue with leaving them off for forever! I suspect dairy should not have a primary place in my eating anymore but in moderation I plan to explore that. Many of the things that were strictly OFF THE LIST, during the last month I have no problem leaving behind. And let's be honest, NO ONE can eat anything and everything and expect to stay fit and healthy. We all need to be sensible in our eating choices to be healthy.  But after following the plan that allowed my liver to heal and process food the way it was designed to and for my metabolism to be revved up, I should be able to navigate maintenance successfully. I'll post an update from time to time and let you know how it's going. Feel free to help hold me accountable. :)

28 Days Part Two

Winter isn't my finest time to begin with, given that S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder) compounds my long term battle with depression. Add in some feeling pudgy and sluggish and you've got a major black cloud hanging over you.

So.. with the arrival of spring and thoughts of cute summer tops and capri's to wear, I went into a little bit of panic mode when I discovered the change in my body (thanks post-menopause) over the winter months meant those cute clothes just didn't fit right anymore. I knew I had to do something.

A few days later in a conversation with my daughter-in-law, she mentioned a diet that several ladies she knew were following. She said they were eating all the time and losing weight. But she said it was super strict, in that there were lots of things prohibited on the eating plan. Still, they were losing and liking it. I was intrigued and later that day I googled the title and did some research on the diet.

The Fast Metabolism Diet was the name of the book and author Haylie Pomroy assured readers that they could lose up to 20# in just 4 weeks through the fat burning power of food. I didn't feel I needed to lose that much but so much of what she wrote about resonated with me because of my prior days of owning my own fitness center. We taught a weight management program at Curves that espoused ways to raise your metabolism so you'd lose the weight and keep it off. (That eating plan didn't work so well for me once I realized I was wheat/ gluten --and to some degree, dairy- sensitive). I realized just a few chapters into the book that the main problem for me was that the restrictive calorie intake had messed big time with my metabolism. I also wasn't eating enough of the right kinds of foods and I needed some help to get me back on track.

Now, you might think I'd know how to eat right but I'll admit right now, in the last few years I've gotten lazy in the kitchen. My cooking had gotten into a rut and I'd been going for fast, easy and cheap when it came to food purchases and prep. And because I am wheat/gluten and semi-dairy sensitive, it's a challenge to find food I can eat sometimes. I needed a meal map to point me in the right direction. Fortunately The Fast Metabolism Diet was full of maps and pointers. A kind of GPS for my tummy!

The diet is strict: NO wheat, corn, soy, dairy, sugar, artificial sweeteners, fruit juice, alcohol and, (the biggest one for me) NO COFFEE!! (I almost said "I can't do this" when I read that part. In fact I negotiated with myself thinking I could give up all of it but the coffee but once I finished the book I decided if I was going to commit to doing this, I needed to commit fully and give it my all)
And that's what  I did. I began to wean myself off the caffeine. I sat down and wrote out a meal map of my own, using some of the books recipes and suggestions, substituting some foods with ones I liked better (but that were still on the approved foods list) I prepared a shopping list. Best of all, my husband said he wanted to do this with me!

While the diet is strict, and with that list, you think "well, what's left to eat?" but honestly, I've never eaten better! Fresh fruit, veggies by the bushel full, lean meats--organic and nitrate free whenever possible, healthy fats like almonds and cashews, hummus and  avocados. Yes, I've missed my coffee and cream but it's not for forever. It's 28 days of eating strategically, designed to light your metabolism on fire! I've not felt deprived or starving and when I'm hungry it's because it's time to eat not because I've had to skip a meal to try and justify calorie intake.

 I feel better than I have in years! I have energy and stamina. My digestive issues have settled down to almost nothing. I've had only one bad day of fibromyalgia symptoms and I know it was related to snacking on some questionable food items at a party. I've lost inches all over and definitely seen a reduction in that troublesome tummy area! And weight loss? As of this morning I've dropped 10 lbs and am at the lowest weight I've been since... I can't remember when! (hubby reports he's lost about 5 lbs and definitely feels better and really loves and appreciates the wholesome goodness of the meals)

Bottom line is... it works.

coming next.... What follows 28? 

28 Days; Part One

About 4 weeks ago I embarked on a journey of eating to lose some weight and heal my metabolism. Yes, eating.

You may know that 2 years ago I decided to get serious about losing 20# that just really needed to go. It took me 5 months to reach that goal and I did it by counting calories, exercise and perseverance. The outcome was that I lost 25#, felt good about it and had reestablished a fitness pattern that kept me walking just about every day, rain or shine. I had earned some bragging rights.

from Sept. 2013, when I reached my goal of losing 20#

But the downside of losing weight through counting calories (and not very many of them since it was a 1200 calorie diet) is that when I reached my goal and went into 'maintenance' the struggle to keep it off was harder than the diet. But, again, exercise and perseverance paid off and I kept the weight off for a year. Then... last summer, I relaxed a little... I didn't count calories every day and I didn't pay attention to what I was stuffing in my mouth quite as much. Because, frankly, who wants to live that way every day for the rest of your life? Apparently, those who wish to remain skinny, because in just a few short weeks, with a couple of vacation/road trips thrown in, 5# had re-attached themselves to me, mostly in the most unattractive place possible for a woman-- my gut!!

Now, granted five pounds doesn't sound so bad and I justified it by saying I was still within my goal weight range (remember, I started out just wanting to lose 20) but I think we all know we prefer to see the pointer on the scale be on that side of the number rather than the other side. And I could see the pointer creeping, wavering, teetering the wrong direction. Like creeping affluence, if I didn't get this in check I'd be back where I was before the diet!  Add to this, I just felt sluggish, tired, bloated and, well, just not so great anymore. And because the majority of it seemed settled in my mid-section, it felt difficult to disguise it or ignore it.

Over the winter I tried numerous times to shake it off. Every Monday morning I'd start with best intentions but by around 3 pm I'd be scooping peanut butter out of the jar and slathering it on a granola bar or a banana. Every night as I laid in bed, I'd reprimand myself and lay out a plan for the next day. "No cream in my coffee. If I just give up cream in my coffee I bet I'd lose some weight over time." or "no more butter. or peanut butter." and every day I'd fail. After a few weeks of this I'd shake my head and say "oh well, whatever" and pull out another loose fitting top to wear to hide my muffin-top.

As spring rolled around and I started the process of rotating spring and summer wear to the front and putting heavy sweaters and such in the back, the thought occurred to me that a lot of my cute summer wear might not fit as well.... but I was wrong. They didn't really fit AT ALL. I wasn't just dealing with some extra weight, I was dealing with inches, rolls, of unwanted fat! Maybe the weight gain was a measly five (okay, now 6) pounds but my body (thank you post-menopause) had really changed in shape. It was kind of depressing. Who am I kidding? It was all kinds of Yuck! Something had to change. Something had to give.

to be continued...

the curse of the dreaded fibro-fog

it was a dark and stormy night.... Oh wait, that's the beginning of a bad novel.This is just a blog post and I don't want it to read like a soap opera turned horror flick. No, this is just your average tale about a modern day woman who occasionally suffers from a malady known as Fibromyalgia.

Fibromyalgia, for those who may not know, is one of those chronic ailments that are widely misunderstood but had gained much attention in recent years as more and more people become diagnosed with it and doctors scramble to learn the cause and subsequent treatment of it. Fibromyalgia, or FM for abbreviation purposes, is characterized by wide spread pain that does not seem to be related to one specific cause. Its not arthritis, or bursitis, it's not a flu or virus, though when in a fibro-flair up, I often feel like I have the flu... or that I've been run over by a semi.

I was diagnosed with FM about 10 or 12 years ago. Back then there were not many doctors in our neck of the woods who knew what to do with the diagnosis. I saw a specialist for awhile (back in the good old days when we had health insurance) and the most common treatment was putting us on anti-psychotic medication. (Crazy right?) The premise was that it would raise the serotonin levels which would help combat pain. I can't vouch for anyone else but after a horrible trial run with several different med's which made me feel crazy, I said "enough with that!" and decided to go with a more holistic approach. During that time I took a leave of absence from my job (I was driving school bus at the time and calling in sick way too much) and concentrated on trying to find answers to my problem. I was blessed to stumble across a chiropractor who practiced natural techniques.  Within the first couple of treatments I was experiencing less pain than I had in months. I kept up a regime of regular visits to his office, taking supplements and incorporating exercise as much as my body could tolerate. (A few years later when I opened up our Curves for Women's Fitness Center, I was really able to keep up my exercise, and thankfully with a workout that was easy for me to handle. It was a win-win for me.)

this helps keep me going when the going gets really tough. 

Getting adequate sleep is also important but the sleep issue is often trickier to manage as insomnia is one of the trademarks of this debilitating ailment. In addition to insomnia, joint pain and stiffness, there is irritable bowel syndrome, fatigue, difficulty swallowing, and cognitive dysfunction. Or, as some of us call it "fibro-fog". (Today for instance, it's taken me most of the day to put together this post, something I usually knock out in a relatively short amount of time.)

A few years ago I made the discovery about my intolerance for gluten. Once I removed gluten from my diet I noticed a dramatic difference as far as inflammation goes. Now, when I do have a flare up, I can usually trace it back to something I ate the day before that was on the No-No list. ( this often occurs after eating out, as I can't control what goes into restaurant prepared food.) Despite the tricks I have learned to help keep this nasty condition at bay, I can't guarantee it wont rear its ugly head and render me useless.

don't bug me. I'm sleeping.

So, it wasn't a dark and stormy night after all. It was a dark and stormy Morning. One of those mornings where it hurts to even open my eyes.  Where it feels like someone poured cement into my joints and its quick setting cement.  Where mass amounts of coffee still wont make the brain fog lift.  On these days it would be better for me to just crawl back in bed and sleep. Or so one would think. But I find sleep just as elusive on these days as I do most nights. And sleep doesn't necessarily relieve the joint pain and stiffness. It's usually better for me to move, painful as it may be. So, this morning, if you saw someone stumbling down the road, with her ass dragging on the heels of her shoes, looking like a zombie... yah, that'd be me.

It's Saturday, It's Raining and I Have Questions.

what can I say about a rainy Saturday? Glad to be inside by the fire with book and blanket. Got the walk out out of the way earlier when it looked like it might actually be a decent day, so that's done. Been averaging 3-4 mile walks 5-6 days a week but had a couple set backs this week. Feeling puny; my body likes to betray me every now and again.

There are days, such as today, when I ask myself who am I racing? I keep trying to increase my pace, applauding myself when my walk app gives me my time and it's better than the day before.  But these child-bearing hips, these creaky-cranky ankles and the feet with slipping arches, are only gonna plod so fast. I see some slight increase in my speed and ability to hold that pace for longer portions of time but again, I have to ask myself, where's this competitive spirit coming from? My sweetie asked me that same question. Why do I feel the need to walk faster than I do right now? I could only shrug and say "I just want to keep improving."

I am at my goal weight and have successfully maintained it for 7 months, and that includes some major holidays! Yet, I think about dropping "just 5 more pounds". I can walk a mile in under 14 minutes on a good day yet I keep thinking "Can I do it in 12?" I love walking and I know how much it has benefited me yet when I walk, in my heart I'm running. I still dream about running a 5K if you want to know the truth.

I was cleaning my closet, moving winter clothes to the back and bringing forward the spring and summer wardrobe, discarding things that are worn out, or the wrong size. Making a mental list of what I need to replace and what would look snazzy with that cardigan and I stop and look, really look, at the pile of clothes I own and have to ask "isn't that enough? Do I really need another.... shirt/pants/sweater?

Where does it end? How much does it take to be satisfied? 

I am part of the human race known as Consumer. If I am being completely transparent, I will tell you I have a selfish streak a mile wide. I wrestle with letting go of my best stuff, in favor of giving just what I don't want or need. The materialistic side of me wins more often than I like to admit.

I comfort this truth with the other truth, that I am a giving, compassionate person, motivated by the Holy Spirit to do what is right and loving and good. I know I have good-- no, GREAT,  qualities. And most of the time, I like to think that the good qualities outshine the bad.

So, here I am wrestling with two different areas: the dissatisfied me and the selfish me.

In his letter to the Philippians, the Apostle Paul wrote: I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Philippians 4.12) 

Earlier in the letter he tells them, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.(Phil. 2)

I don't think it's wrong of me to want to work on improving myself health wise. I don't think it's wrong to want to dress or look nice. What does bother me however, is the attitude behind those things. Am I doing it for my health and well-being or is there some other motivating factor at work? When I want just a little bit more than what I already have, when I want to hang on to my possessions is that an indication that my heart needs some adjustments?

Good questions to ponder on this rainy Saturday afternoon.

just a small announcement...

nothing too major... 

but.... a few days ago... 

last week in fact...

I REACHED MY WEIGHT LOSS GOAL!!!

Yup. 20 pounds. Gone. I started back in June, really counting the calories and concentrating on taking in less than I was putting out in the form of exercise.It took committment. Time. Effort.  It paid off.

20 lbs lighter than last year at this time. It may not be greatly noticed by some but I certainly FEEL it!!

Maybe 20 pounds doesn't sound like a lot but trying lugging a couple 10 pound sacks of sugar around all day and you suddenly realize the stress you are putting on your body! I am going to stick with my eating plan and exercise for a few more weeks because I really want to get myself on 'that side of' the magic number on my scale. Well, actually I intend to stay with my exercise indefinitely!! And since I'm not really 'dieting' but rather eating sensibly, I will be sticking with that too!

oh darn, I'm gonna have to go shopping for clothes that fit me better!! ha ha ha.

So how does it feel? It feels good to be back at the weight recommended for my age, height and body frame. It feels good to slip into jeans that have been hidden in the back of my closet, just hoping for this day. It feels good to be comfortable in my clothes. It feels good to set a goal and REACH IT. I think for awhile there I was starting to believe I was not ever going to lose the weight. I was stuck at that overweight number for a few years. I would try to 'diet' and just yo-yo'd 2-3 pounds over and over again. It was frustrating. Especially when I went through the hard work of doing this so many years ago only to slip away from smart eating and let myself slowly gain the weight back.

the picture that motivated me to get the weight off. 

About 12 years ago I had reached a new high in my weight and I was really feeling unhappy about it. I saw a picture of myself that shocked me into doing something about it. I joined Weight Watchers and gave myself a year to take the weight off. I was successful.

I lost 45 pounds by following the program and walking daily. I kept that weight off for a year and then... yah, you guessed it. I got lazy and careless and gained some of it back. When I opened Curves in 2004, I was feeling fat and frumpy. I had gained about 20 lbs back. Working out on a regular basis and teaching other women about fitness was motivation for me and though I did not lose much weight, (about 10 lbs) my body got in shape and as I gained muscle the inches started sliding off.

that jacket kinda hangs on me now, as does the t-shirt. I no longer have the jeans because they are 2 sizes too big!

After I sold the club I started the yo-yo thing with my weight again.... and  the scale numbers slowly began climbing upwards and the clothes feeling snugger. I was 15 lbs heavier than I should be but at least it seemed to plateau there and I stayed steady at that weight for a couple of years. Then this summer when I injured my foot and could do nothing but sit, another 5 lbs leaped on me and I started feeling desperate!

I used to say I would rather tell people how old I was then tell them how much I weighed and I guess I still feel that way. Because this December I will turn 55. (that freaked me out a little to write that!) I reasoned that I did not want to be overweight in addition to reaching another milestone birthday. So I got serious.

Couple of things that I used this time that really helped were some apps for my smart phone. I downloaded the free "lose it" app which I use to track everything I eat. It counts my calories, and tells me how much fat, carbs and protein I had so I can keep a healthy balance to my eating. It also let me choose how quickly I wanted to lose the weight. Did I want to lose 1/2 a pound a week or did I want to lose 2 lbs a week? I chose to go for 1 lb a week and it then calculated how many calories I got each day and it told me I should obtain my goal by such and such date. Very cool. I love techy gizmo things so this was a great motivating tool for me to use.

things fit so much better! this was me going to my high school reunion last year and how those clothes fit now. awesome!!

The other free app I downloaded is the MapMyWalk.It tracks my route and how fast I am walking and tells me how many calories I burned. Love seeing that!  I have been walking every day since my foot healed and gaining in speed and distance. I am now averaging about 3 miles a day but sometimes I feel the need to take an extra walk in the evenings (I walk every morning) and I rack up another mile or two. It feels GREAT!!

The third thing, and really the most important one, isn't an app but an attitude. Realizing that my body is a temple where the Holy Spirit dwells and that I am called to a life of discipline made me even more determined to get back into shape. Just as God gave us the earth to take care of and be good stewards of all we are given, so am I to take care of the body He has given me. What a blessing to see this truth and work on living it out.

So, yep! I feel GOOD. And happy. But most of all I just feel proud of what I accomplished. Like I said, setting a goal and reaching it, is SO empowering!

Yah, so I'm feeling a little cheeky. I think I earned it. ;)

In A Whisper

Pounding rain against the roof and windows at 4am. Driven from my bed from a need to pee, I listen in awe to this summer shower turned reckless. Back under the covers I try to find the perfect position in which to return to slumber for a couple more hours. I am challenged by 3 things. A backache that just won't quit, a snoring husband and a neurotic cat who thinks I want to cuddle now. Correction. Who thinks I should cuddle now.

But as I snuggle deeper under my blankets and smell the freshness this rain brings, my thoughts return to the troublesome issue that's been plaguing me for days now. My job. I have been off work for going into my 3rd week and am not scheduled to return till the 1st of July. A stress fracture on my foot that was then complicated with shin splints from wearing a walking boot, followed by my back going out due to what I can only attribute to a lack of activity, has left me confused about whether to sit or stand. Sitting causes my back to spasm, standing puts pressure on my foot. Laying in my bed seems to me a logical conclusion and until my antidepressants catch up with me, it's where I truly want to be. But, my job. What about my job?

I have been there 6 months and during this time the physical work has never gotten easier. I like what I do and I enjoy the work atmosphere for the most part, however, physically it kicks my butt every single day and I am seriously questioning whether or not I can  continue.... As I roll over and push my cat away from my face, I mentally list all the things that hurt.
Rotator Cuffs. Both of them torn, operated on and then torn again and basically, at this point, stable but always ready to make me miserable should I do one small thing to set them off.
Fibromyalgia. It's been over 10 years since I was diagnosed with this chronic disease and I have learned for the most part how to counteract it and live with it. I keep it under control by watching what I eat, getting equal amount of rest and exercise, and trying to avoid the things that can trigger it. Fibromyalgia also presents a wide range of issues from the achy body to brain fog, to insomnia and more. Loads of fun. Loads.
Stress fracture in the foot. Not getting better. Wondering if there is perhaps also some arthritis in the ankle as it aches when it's fixing to rain. Which in Washington is just about all the time.
Back issues that come and go... such as now. My back goes out more than I do.
And lastly, Depression that can range from debilitating to manageable, but always, the threat of a dark cloud is there.

This is my list and no wonder sleep is elusive. I kick the covers off my feet as I feel a hot flash developing. And then, a whisper. Words flash across my brain, my heart and I think... "God... is that You?"
Because, He does speak to me, and usually, almost always,  in my quiet, unguarded moments.
I listen.
He says "Trust. Try. Talk."

"Trust. Trust in Me. I have it under control. Trust me to lead you in everything. And Trust your husband. I have appointed him the spiritual leader of your household and he's following my lead. It's going to be alright."

"Try. Do you best and leave the rest up to Me. That's all I ask. I am strong where you are weak and I know where your weaknesses are better than you do. All you have to do is try."

"Talk. Communication is key. Talk to Me. Talk to Bruce. Talk to your boss."

I drift back to sleep for maybe another 30 minutes or so. When I have my coffee and my bible reading plan ready for my morning devotions, I discover the title of my read is 'God Speaks to His Friends". Interesting. Not a coincidence, this morning's topic for me.

God speaks. In a whisper. Are you listening?

charging your batteries

Awhile back the battery to my laptop stopped holding a charge. As long as it was hooked up to the power adapter, all was fine but if it came unplugged within seconds the screen went black and all things computer-y came to a screeching halt. The big problem with this was that the power adapter had gotten rather loose in it's connection so it was very easy for the plug to come unplugged-- and it seemed to do it with annoying regularity. I recently replaced the power adapter with a nice snug fitting connection and all is well... as long as it says plugged in to the power source.

I'm very much like my laptop in some ways. I am an introvert. I recharge in private. I have an internal battery that holds a charge for a limited amount of time. And when it's spent, it's spent. Bruce kids me about the look on my face that tells him in no uncertain terms that I've 'hit the wall" and it's time to take me home, put me to bed, turn off the lights and tiptoe away-- far, far away.

I've learned in recent years how to occasionally check my power source-- make sure my external power cord is plugged in you might say. Still once in awhile I forget, get distracted or so caught up in other things that I forget to check my connection... and then, BAM! Auto-shutdown commences.

Making sure I have ME/Solo time is important. Quiet time. Time for creativity. Getting enough sleep. Proper diet. Exercise. Time for laughing. But perhaps none so important as plugging in to the Ultimate Power Source. Yes. Spending time in Worship, communing with God, whether through praise music, creation, fellowship with other believers, or reading my bible, listening for His Presence-- that is the Ultimate Power. When I neglect those important aspects, it doesn't take long before my screen goes black, my body shuts down and things get, well.....  ugly. We don't wanna go there.

I appreciate that I have learned to listen to my body. That God wired me this way and for a reason. I think sometimes we introverts get the short end of the stick, and it often comes from the extroverts we love, who think there is something wrong with us because we don't get charged up by being around others like they do. Yet, the world needs us introverts. Some of the best creativity out there was produced by the introverts!

What about you? Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Do you get your re-charge by being around others or does that drain you and you need alone time to charge your battery?

If you are an extrovert, is there an introvert in your life who could benefit from your being a little more understanding of the way God created them to be? (that they don't need fixing? they just need to be accepted.)

If you are an introvert, what do you do to recharge your batteries? Whatever it is, I pray you have some time this week to indulge and be healthy.

Autumn Recap

you all know by now that  I love fall! The crispness of the season, that sweet aroma drifting in through the open bedroom window as I fall asleep. The Kodachrome of colors on my mountain, that first pumpkin spice latte of the season (I refuse to drink pumpkiny drinks till the first day of fall-- had mine yesterday and it was scrump-delicious!)

**

Yesterday was a bittersweet day however, even as I did celebrate Autumn's official arrival by getting my latte. Yesterday was the memorial for our friend Michael. What a tribute! Have you ever attended a memorial service that was almost pure Worship? Where people were clapping their hands and CHEERING as they sang? The JOY that filled the place was overwhelming!! The lump in my throat competed with the tightness in my chest and I clapped so hard my hands tingled. We listened to his children and siblings pay him homage and cried with Catherine, his bride of nearly 16 years, as a letter she had penned was shared. Oh, it was hard. It was sad. But it was joyful! How do you explain such joy in the face of such sorrow? Only because of the HOPE we have in Jesus Christ.

**

Last night my husband and I sat and talked about faith. He credits me with a strong unshakable faith and I believe this is a gift God has given me. I've been through my share of heart ache and tough times but my faith in God is firm. I don't know why I have been given this gift but I do see it as exactly that. Despite the financial hardships we have faced, and continue to struggle with, I see God's Sovereign Hand on us and our situation. Faith doesn't come as easily for my husband and I pray for him to be granted extra faith and for it come easier to him.

**

I curled up in blankets last night and watched the fire burn in our woodstove as I drank hot tea, and sucked on throat lozenges. I could feel the aches and pains coming in stronger like the tide and my throat constricting. I was sniffly and sneezy and sleep was a welcome reprieve. I woke up early this morning, stuffed up and woozy headed and slothed my way downstairs for more Airborn. I don't wanna be sick!!

Hubby went on to church without me this morning and I watched church on the live-feed and felt nourished. I am feeling clearer headed now and less achy. I have learned to give in at the first sign of a cold, and soak up as much sleep and Vitamin C as I possible can and you know what? I usually kick whatever little bug is threatening me in the behind before it has a chance to roost. The sun, pale and thin, is still promising this day to be pleasant. It's the kind of day for wearing sweaters and socks but it's still a day that begs us come outside. We had originally had plans to host a small group fall kick off mini retreat but we had so many of our couples cancel that we canceled it as well! Which means this afternoon is a GIFT as we now have an open slot for an unplanned event! And if I feel strong enough we are going to take advantage of this opening and go play!!!

May you be blessed in the day~~ and my FAITH be granted unto you as well as JOY HOPE and LOVE.

Friday Funk

Used to be Fridays were fun and fabulous! Date night loomed on the horizon, the beginning of the weekend. But I have to go to work in a few precious hours and I will work Sat. morning too. There won't be much time to play this weekend. Even date night seems like a stretch as by the time I get home tonight and think about dinner, I will be too tired to care about anything.

We actually have tentative plans to do a date tonight though. Our local high school is holding it's annual Community Talent Show. Always fun and entertaining. (I even participated in it a few times several many years ago-- I sang) So we talked about walking over there this evening after I get home. We'd just make it if we skip dinner. I would really like to go. It's a way to connect with the community that doesn't happen any other way. And the talent, while mostly raw, is often also surprising. Plus I get to hold hands with my honey while we walk to and from the school auditorium and we can nudge each other in the dark and whisper little secret jokes to each other as we watch the performances. I'd say we are a little overdue to a night out together.

Yesterday was a pretty crummy day. I was hit with a wave of pain and fatigue that had me slouched in my chair all day long. It was National Pajama Day at my house. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia about 10 years ago and the last few years have been really good years. Very little pain, very few days of suffering and being unable to participate in *life*. Going off gluten and keeping active and on regular chiropractic visits have all done a lot towards keeping me in good shape. So I don't know what brought this episode on but it was a doozy. It hurt to move, it hurt to sit still. I was overwhelmed with fatigue and then the IBS kicked in. Not a pretty day. I did manage a shower around 3 and the hot water and steam was a relief. Made myself walk to the post office after that because I know that I have to keep moving or I will be in even worse shape the next day. Uggh. what a day.

Today is better. I was able to walk for 30 minutes this morning in the sunshine. I remembered to take my Vitamin D and wonder if the forgetting to take it for several days had anything to do with this flare up. I don't know.  Soon I have to leave for work and I despair over the thought of being cheery and interactive with everyone. I pray for a slow afternoon so I can continue to regain my strength and energy.

Not an exciting post today. Just a place to exercise my thoughts. And if hubby reads this before tonight, I am really looking forward to a date with you!! :)

Follow Through

It has not been that long since I started posting about Embracing Change but I really started this journey before I began this series. A friend on Facebook actually launched this whole idea by forming a group on FB dealing with weight loss. She calls it Chrysalis and there are about 15 members. We've been sharing tips and ideas, offering encouragement, a safe place to vent and a place to gain strength. The journey to anything-- spiritual fitness or physical fitness need not be done alone.

I have been logging my meals using an online calorie tracker but after 30 days of faithful follow through . (and sticking to 1200-1300 cals per day) I was frustrated and tired of the whole thing. Plus, I had not lost any weight!! On the bright side I did not gain anything but the plateau stage sucks!

I was working out at Curves 2-3 times a week but it was feeling like a hit and miss project as I only make it to Curves when I am scheduled to work and my work schedule has been a little all over the map. Then in the last couple of weeks I seem to have a schedule that allows 3 times a week, spaced out more evenly. I added walking to my regime. 30 minutes every day. It does wonders for my mental state even as it works my whole body.

Today I am celebrating, because even thought my weight is still where it was a month ago, I have lost inches!! I did a happy dance as I pulled on a pair of jeans this morning that a few weeks ago felt just too pinchy to wear all day. (and I did not have to lay down to zip them) And paired it with a t-shirt that I would normally discard because I felt to vulnerable (muffin top) to wear.

So, things ARE paying off!!
I am feeling stronger, leaner and happier!

Here are the things I want to focus on:
Staying on guard to keep the GOOD habits I am acquiring.
Diligence rather than willpower.
Pay attention to the details: how do my clothes fit (today they feel awesome!)
Remember the habits I have acquired and reflect on how I feel.
Celebrate EACH and EVERY moment, no matter whether it be small or large.
      

Just Do It

nike swoosh

Nike's famous slogan sounds great on paper but carrying it out is not always as simple as it sounds.

After 4 weeks of writing down everything I ate in an online weight tracker, with a goal of 1300 calories per day and with 3 workouts a week under my belt, I really expected to shake some pounds off. But my scale has NOT BUDGED. I am frustrated but not defeated. Tackling this subject of Embracing Change in my blog is making me look deeper at the reasons I want to lose weight and how I will attack it.

Today the focus is Planning the Solution.
I made the decision that fitness and weight management is a priority in my life. I am learning to operate from a place that is NOT motivated by emotions or desperation. It's not enough to let that be my motivation because my emotions change daily (sometimes minute by minute) and desperation will not steer me into thoughtful consideration of identifying the problem, prioritizing it, nor planning it. Desperation is what makes me skip breakfast, drink a 'energy drink' for lunch and then plan to eat a 'healthy dinner' all in an attempt to lose the 5 pounds that somehow attached themselves to me over a weekend. The plan fails before dinner ever arrives because I am starving.

Changing my body weight and sticking with a regular exercise program requires a thoughtful process that will produce lasting change. I don't have to depend on my will power-- because my will power won't change me. I have to change my habits. Saying 'Just do it' is not going to be enough.

Over the years in my spiritual walk, I have learned I can't change myself. Not until I give permission to the Holy Spirit to have HIS way with me, does real change occur.

I can establish change in my habits however. I can change out a bad habit to a good habit. I have made it a new practice to go to God's book each morning before I go to Facebook.  And spending time in knee-mail before I e-mail. They say it takes 21 days to establish a habit, good or bad. And it takes just as long to break one. Just a thought...

So, first things first. I need a plan that has proven to be effective. I have decided to follow as best I can, the weight management plan that is available to me through my old (dusted off) copy of the Curves fitness and weight management plan. We each have to find the one that we feel comfortable with, can work with and adapt to our specific needs. I have to make gluten-free adjustments and I don't want to cook 2 separate meals for me and my husband. But aside from that here are some MUSTS that we should all want to incorporate into our plan.

GOALS ARE A MUST
how are you going to end up where you want to be if you don't know where you want to go? Goals will focus your efforts and keep you moving in the right direction.

GOALS MUST BE SMART
>specific
>written down
       so they are real and you can see and refer to them
>exciting
>achievable
        you should be ENERGIZED when you think about accomplishing a goal!

DON'T CONFUSE DISAPPOINTMENT WITH DISASTER!
We're gonna mess up.
I'm gonna eat a chocolate bar.
I'm gonna pull a wimpy and skip my work out. I know this about myself.
But I am not going to let it derail me!
I am gonna forgive myself and get back on track.




So, Step 3-- Planning the Solution. Are you ready?
here are today's questions

1. what personal strengths will help you succeed?

2. list your triggers for making poor food choices.

3. how can you manage those triggers more effectively?

4. how can you make good food choices in bad situations?

5. what days of the week will you commit to some kind of exercise program?  what time of the day?

6. what is your weight loss goal for 30 days? how about this week?

7. what are your biggest fears about starting this new plan?

8. how could you proactively address those fears?

9. what part of this plan is exciting for you?