Moving On, Moving Forward

I found this awesome quote the other day by Monique Duval and I just loved it so much I decided to share it... both on my facebook page and here:

She decided to free herself, dance into the wind, create a new language. And birds fluttered around her, writing “yes” in the sky.” 

I feel like this quote describes my life from the moment I stepped into the path of healing and seeking wholeness and learning who I really am, as a woman, as a contributor to society and most importantly as a child of God.

Life is a constant and the only thing we can count on staying the same is change. We have to be ready for it. Change is something many of us really, and I mean, REALLY struggle with but yet is is what keeps life exciting. We do not live static lives. 

I am ready for change. I am nervous, facing another unknown but I have faith that God will guide and protect me. I don't know what will happen or when, just that it is time. I gave my 2 weeks notice at work this week and while I am filled with questions over this choice, (am I doing the right thing? what will happen now?) I know that once I reached the decision, there was a peace that descended that helps balance out those fears. 

It has been so gratifying to hear the responses from my boss and co-workers, expressing sadness over my decision to leave but they also understand that this is something I am choosing to do because I need to take care of myself, not because I am unhappy in my job.

Funny how peace and anxiety can co-exist. For as always, when we choose to move to someplace else in life, there are those moments of questioning and wondering and second guessing ourselves  Even when I have felt 100% sure of a decision and know I will not be looking back, there comes a whisper in the recesses of my mind, checking to see if I have any doubts. I still look back on my days of owning my business and wondering if I bailed to soon or if I could have handled things differently. But then I see this quote and I am filled with delight as the sense of freedom rises in me and makes me indeed want to dance and write a new language!

I am looking forward to the next adventure, whatever that may be, knowing that the God who holds me in the palm of His hand will continue to guide and protect me, stretch me perhaps, a bit more than I think I can go, but protecting me nonetheless.

He will do the same for you if you let him.

Racing the Clock

One of my favorite quotes comes from a dear dear friend of ours. I may have shared it before but it is apropos today. "God is seldom early but He's never late."


Yesterday afternoon around 2:45 my husband called me and shared the good wonderful AMAZING MIND BOGGLING news that some friends had decided to pool their resources and loan us the money needed to prevent the foreclosure proceedings from going into effect. However the clock was ticking and would require some fast action on my part since hubby was trapped in the field working. 


After a race to the bank to establish the exact amount and process required for payment, the countdown was on!! We are west coast and we had to act on east coast time since this was where the money needed to. We had to have cash. We had to wire it. And it had to be 'there' before 10 am EST Thursday. (we learned the foreclosure date was actually scheduled for today, not yesterday as previously thought) 


After numerous phone calls back and forth between hubby and the friends and myself, I met one of the friends later that evening and let the tears flow as the check was placed in my hand. I couldn't let them fall for too long as I needed to see to drive to the bank and cash this!!  Thankfully our bank's drive up window was open till 7pm. Then it was scurry over to the nearest Western Union. Slam dunk. 

right?


No. Something was missing in my information regarding a 'code city' for where to wire the money and by now the bank who has the loan, was closed and there was no one who could tell me what this missing information was!!! Aaaaaaaghhhh!!!


Operating on FUMES (both in my car tank and my tummy, to say NOTHING of what the constant racing and adrenaline pumping had done to my sweat glands!!!!) I drove home to where Bruce was waiting for me. We could do nothing but wait till this morning to make more calls and learn more. At 5 am this morning I was up and calling the east coast bank and learning what I could. By 6:30am we were at the door of the nearest Western Union-- our local grocery store down the street-- which I never realized has this service till I was google-ing every thing I could last night in a vain attempt to learn code cities!!


The money was successfully wired before 8 am our time and then Bruce and I sat in the car and made the call to the bank (transfer to so and so and transferred to such and such and can you hold please?)  to give them the verification number to prove we'd wired the money so they would stop the process of foreclosure. Talk about more adrenaline rushes!!


The phrase 'roller coaster of emotions' probably gets used way too much but it captures the essence of the last 24 hours. From feeling despair in the morning, and trying to  hang on with hope that God's plan was still good no matter what it looked like from our perspective, to learning of the plan our friends were putting into effect to help us, to be affirmed by this selfless action of love, trust, and support, the race to make it all happen in time, the near misses and frustrating set backs, and finally, the whoosh when the basket sailed into the net, and cleared. 


I'm exhausted and it's only 8:30 in the morning!!

Facebook can make me insane sometimes, with some of the petty postings, verbal attacks and political or religious uses, but most of the time I find blessings in what my friends share.  This is what my dear dear sweet friend, Melody Mae wrote on my facebook wall yesterday and it is as fitting as the quote with which I started this post:

The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. Psalm 145:15-16

Yes, Lord in just the proper time, you opened your hands, using your humble servants here on earth, to supply what we need, just as we need it. 


Yesterday was a living breathing example of the 'church in action'.  Words fail me in trying to express my thanks to these dear people. All I can do is offer once again the simple 'thank you' which feels so inadequate yet it is all I can say. Once again, God used His Church to care for us. All glory and praise to God!

SO blown away by these actions and displays of love and faith in us. This is Grace. Pure Grace. 

The Write Perspective

Oh Joy of Joys, I have been writing all week... journaling, emailing, blogging, fictionalizing and loving every minute of it! For such a long long time all my pens were out of ink and the pencils broken and my muse was on strike and a piece of me curled up and nearly died inside of me. But Day of Hallelujah when the inspiration and desire to return to the page and write, write, write came back!

Yes, there was a period in my life when I could not write. No matter how hard I tried and no matter how desperate I was to create, it wasn't happening. It wasn't writers block as much as a dried up well. I had used my writing to escape from the hell my life had become but when the person who was making my life hell forced me to destroy the very words that were giving me life... well, yes. something died.


There is something incredible soothing about stringing words together into sentences into something that makes you smile and breathe in deep and sit back and say: wow, look what I just said! For me the pen has always been mightier than the words  sword (no let's stick with words-- its got all the same letters just arranged differently is all and in my case I don't like swords but I do love words!!!)

I love to read and I love to write. The reading entertains and feeds me. Writing feeds me deeply. Blogging has given me a powerful outlet, as has FaithWriters . Knowing someone else is reading your words can be a vulnerable thing but the feedback is such a gift! Whether its a positive remark or a corrective suggestion, it can make my whole day! (a negative comment can leave me fretting for days however and I am working on getting over that.)

Sometimes I write without anything to say but I do it anyway because it often takes me to a place I didn't know I  was going and when I get there I discover some good stuff.

These beautiful reminders came to me this morning in my Quiet Time. I will close this post with them, choosing to embrace the positive no matter what may lay on the other side. Happy Friday!

Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. Phil 3.13b

Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Phil. 4.8

Thirsty

In Psalm 143: 6, the psalmist cries out...

I spread out my hands to you;
   I thirst for you like a parched land.

and from Psalm 63...


You, God, are my God,
   earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
   my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
   where there is no water.


This song by Darrel Evans :All We Want is You, has been running through my mind this day. The chorus is almost right out of Psalm 63,
All we want is you, is you, all we want is you,
we hunger and thirst for you in a dry and weary land, and all we want is you.

Psalm 107; 9 has the tall cool drink I need for this thirst...

for he satisfies the thirsty
   and fills the hungry with good things.

and a little further down (verse 33) ...

He turned rivers into a desert,
   flowing springs into thirsty ground,

I have been super thirsty today, physically speaking but as I ponder these words and replay the song in my head, I realize that spiritually, I need a drenching; a soaking in the Holy Presence of God is the only thing that will satisfy.

Bumper Stickers

just some great quotes I have come across in the last little while ... these will make you think.....


~Give God what is right, not what is left. ~  (seen on a sign in front of a church)

~We've drifted away from being fishers of men to being keepers of the aquarium. ~  Paul Harvey


~ The organization has displaced its vision with itself. It has become its own reason for existing. ~   Tim Miller

~ Your silence will not protect you. ~ (bumper sticker on a car)

~ Hell will be full of people who thought highly of the Sermon on the Mount. You must do more than that. You must obey and take action. ~  John Macarthur

~ if God used only perfect people, nothing would get done. God will use anybody is you're available. ~ Rick Warren


~ God can't give you the blessings He has for you until you first put down the other things you are clutching in your hands.~ Richard Stearns

~ ANYTHING we put ahead of God in our lives becomes an idol. ~ Richard Stearns (the Hole in our Gospel)