Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Answered Prayer; A Healing Touch

"God is seldom early, but He is never late" ~
 Terry "Mateo" Mattson

I believe in the power of prayer. I am never reluctant to ask someone to pray for me when I am in need, nor am I likely to withhold a prayer for someone else who needs it.  This morning was one of those times where the need for healing prayer was my desperate request.

 I was singing on the Worship Team at our church this morning and in the middle of rehearsal something awful happened. I couldn't open my mouth all the way without experiencing shooting pain through my jaw! Now, it's a little hard to sing if you can't open your mouth, and I'm not trying to be funny. Some notes require a more mouth action than others and as I continued singing along, I found my jaw stubbornly and painfully refusing to cooperate. This was not good! 

I have had TMJ (temporomandibular joint disorder) episodes a few times over the years but is has been a long time since it's caused my jaw to lock or refuse to open wider than needed. When rehearsal was done, several of us gathered, as we do every Sunday morning before service, to pray. I made my plea for prayer for myself and explained the reason. My church family quickly gathered around me and prayed specifically for a healing touch, in order that I could sing.  

I didn't feel anything in that moment, nothing to indicate to me that healing had occurred. In fact the pain was still present and my jaw still stubbornly refusing to cooperate. But I was confident. I believed that God could and would take care of this for me. I really felt like I could handle this little painful episode; I just wanted to be able to open my mouth during singing in order to really make the joyful noise I'd been recruited for!  

Our leader for our Worship Team asked me if I was going to be okay and I nodded emphatically and told her I believed God would give me the ability to do what I needed to do, just when I needed it. 

Guess what? HE DID. 

We went into our worship set and I was able to open my mouth, to sing from my heart and there was no pain in my jaw. It cooperated beautifully. 

When we finished singing and I went to find my seat, I experimented a little by forcing some "yawn" action. OOooOh! Pain! And a limited amount of movement. Just as it had happened during rehearsal. 

I was actually somewhat amused that the pain and lack of mobility had departed just long enough to do what had been asked of me that morning. I mean, we did pray specifically for me to be able to sing and sing well and without pain! At the end of the service when we went back up for one last song I grabbed my mic with confidence that I would once again be able to do my part. 

Yep. No problem. 

After church we had potluck and I found it difficult to eat as once again the jaw was being stiff. but I was happy to report to those who had prayed for me that our prayers had been answered! 

As the day went on I did find the pain slowly subsiding and the ability to open my jaw returning.

In my lifetime I have witnessed and experienced God working in our lives.I have learned that He can do things in an instance and He can do things over a period of time. I don't understand it, but I believe that His timing is perfect and there is a reason only He knows as to why things happen the way they do. I don't understand it but I guess that's not my job. My job is to trust.  


(p.s. as an added bonus, this healing prayer episode seems to have also served as a breakthrough in a case of writer's block that's been plaguing me for a few weeks. So, Yay God!! Thank you!!)


Thursday, November 6, 2014

Shaking Like A Leaf

I've been struggling.  I've never claimed to have it all together but it's often disappointing to be in this place again.

Depression has been sucking everything out of me. I'm sure it's partly related to the stress of our financial situation, with some physical issues added. The time change that brings darkness sooner isn't helping any. Then to top it off, when I try to pray, I've got nothing. No words. It's babble or it's stuttering but its mostly just dead space where words should be. All this combined has resulted in a great big dish of frustration, sadness, pain, anxiety,and desperation. I have felt crippled and blinded.

I have felt like a little leaf trembling in the wind.


Like a little leaf balanced precariously on a tight rope.


Then, this morning I read Lori Roeleveld's blog post and it was as if it was written just for me. She talks about the emptiness she was experiencing. How her prayers sounded like "blah, blah, blah." She said it was because while her mouth was uttering words her heart was empty. As she struggled with this realization she heard Jesus say "Bring that to me. Bring me your emptiness"

Wait. What? God told her to bring Him the emptiness? Aren't we suppose to bring Him an offering of praise? Yet.... He said bring it and then He would fill it.

Her post resonated with me. I'm learning that whatever we bring, be it praise, adoration, requests, anger, pain, sorrow... or a great big pile of nothingness, He welcomes it.

Hebrews 4.16 says: Let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. 

Wow.

He welcomes it... and then, transforms it. By His Grace, His Love, His Mercy He takes what ever we have, even the nothing to offer, and turns it into something of wonder.

It might not change the condition of my checking account or lessen the physical pain. It doesn't' always remove the depression and sometimes it doesn't even improve my prayers of dry empty phrases. But it comforts me to know that even in the darkest of times, God is with me. He never abandons me. I may never fully know or understand why He can't just rescue me out of my worst times. Sometimes He does, but often He doesn't. However...He does sit with me in my darkness. He does walk with me through the fire. He swims beside me in the deep waters.

Knowing that gives me the courage and strength to hang on for one more day. Knowing this allows me to rest in His presence.

Seeing that little leaf perched there on that wire the other day made me think of the song Hold Me Jesus by the late Rich Mullins. One line in particular jumped out at me so I had to revisit the lyrics. It seems to capture where my parched and weary soul is these days. It goes:  "So hold me Jesus, cause I'm shaking like a leaf. You have been King of my Glory, won't you be my Prince of Peace?" 

I may be perched precariously and trembling but I know, and I trust, God's got me.