The Power of Prayer

"Ever since I heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus, and your love for Christians everywhere, I have not stopped thanking God for you. I have prayed for you constantly." Ephesians 1. 15-16

When I read this scripture passage this morning I was struck by two things.
1.) What my day would be like if I knew someone was praying for me
 and
2.) What their day would be like for someone else if they knew I was praying for them. 

I was actually thunderstruck by this idea. It just felt like a revelation to think about how much different a person's life could be if they knew someone was praying for them, the way Paul prayed for the church in Ephesus. I thought how I might take on my day differently if I knew someone was specifically praying for me this morning. And I wondered  how YOU might feel if you knew someone had prayed specifically for you today.

It sounds so simple but there is power in simplicity. Of course I pray for others. But I'm thinking of specific prayers. I pictured my friend K.T. who is a powerful prayer warrior. I pictured her on her knees before the throne of God, wrestling on my behalf. I thought about how I might tackle this day differently knowing she'd been in her prayer closet contending for me. I know how blessed and empowered I feel when someone lays their hands on me and prayers for me in person.

I've decided to commit to 30 days of prayer. I have a list of people I intend to pray for over the next 30 days. Each day I will take one person from my list and pray specifically for them. In my small group I challenged each of them to join me in this challenge. I am extending the same challenge to you.... Will you join me? I believe this can be a real game changer.

Is someone praying for me?
Am I praying for someone?

The answer is.... YES.

The Summer of '97; the Sequel

If you've been following my blog for any length of time, you probably already know that Tall Timber Ranch holds a very special place in my heart. It's where I met my sweetie, and where our courtship sparked, it's where he popped the question a couple of years later and it's where we visit when ever we get the chance. It is also where we lived the first summer after we married.

Grasshopper Mountain in the morning light

 Having worked in the kitchen for summer camp the year before, I was ready and willing to give it another go. I was prepared for the long tiring days because I also knew the rewards that came with the job. Being a part of a team effort that reached children of all ages and introduced them to the love of Jesus was worth every aching muscle, even every burn from the grill. Not to mention,Tall Timber is located in such a beautiful setting, it takes your breath away every time you walk outside and face the massive mountain range that borders the camp. Yep, I was looking forward to another experience at the camp.

making pans and pans full of jo-jo's!

The catch was... what about Bruce? Well, I certainly didn't relish the idea of being separated all summer. Being apart the year before had been challenging but we weren't married then! We thought the idea of living at the camp for the summer to be a fun one, if we could just find a way to make it work on his end. The only way was if he could land a job near there. Hmmm.

He began detailing the criteria he'd need for a temporary job.

1. Construction work, obviously; something he enjoyed doing would be sweet.

2. It needed to be located close enough to Tall Timber that commuting wouldn't be a big hassle.

3.  It needed to be one job- something that would last from June-August or Sept.

4. Preferably paid by the hour, not a bid, at prevailing wage.

And just to make it a little more challenging, he added that it would be nice if he knew the person or company well enough ahead of time to know if it would be a good working environment.

Well, that's quite a list and once I heard it my heart sank just a little. It wasn't that I doubted God could orchestrate it. It was that Bruce was painting a pretty tight circle around our mission opportunity. Add to this, I really needed to give the camp a definite answer about the job and soon. With no leads on any carpentry work and a decision about the assistant cook position waiting, the pressure was getting rather intense.

Finally the moment arrive where we said, Look, do we trust God or not? We believe He's calling me to come back and work at the camp. We want to go. Do we say yes and trust that God will bring Bruce work? What if we say yes and no work develops for Bruce and he has to return home in order to work? Can we deal with that? With prayer and faith, we decided to go for it. I called the camp and affirmed I would be there in June.

The next day... the VERY NEXT DAY, Bruce got a phone call from a contemporary in the construction world. A builder/supplier of log home kits, he was calling to ask Bruce about doing some sub-contracting work for him... (which he'd done in the past) and as the conversation developed, Bruce explained what our plans for the summer were.... and guess what???  Mr. M. just so happened to have a log house kit being erected in Leavenworth Wa, which was a 40 minute drive from Tall Timber. He needed someone to come in and do specialty trim and finish work. By the hour. It was enough work to last all summer. Would Bruce be interested?

the house Bruce worked on that summer. 

I chuckle every time I tell this story or even think about it. That's just how our God works! We step out in faith and He meets us, greets us, and when it comes to wants and needs, exceeds us!

So, that is how a few weeks later we loaded up my car and his work truck and headed over the mountains to our special camp. We spent the next 3 months living in a dorm style lodge, playing house parents to a building full of college kids.

Shultze Center, the dorm style housing where we lived.

It was a very different summer from the one before. That first summer I was learning my way around the kitchen and the quirks of the schedule. I was there with my daughter, rebuilding our relationship, missing my fiance and being stretched in various ways.

That second summer, feeling seasoned and comfortable, I was able to relax and find ways to play a little bit more. Bruce took a week and volunteered as counselor for Sr. High Camp, we enjoyed some weekend hikes and camp outs. We mingled with college kids and not only laughed at their antics but readily joined in. (OK--we might have even instigated some of it.)

date night for the love-burkes. We went to Leavenworth one night for the outdoor summer theater!

I've been back many times over the years, to help out in the kitchen when needed and even do a few stints as camp counselor but it's those summers of 1996 and 1997 that stand out in my memory the strongest. How God used those times to stretch our character, build our faith, heal our hearts, bind us together, and bless us in unimaginable ways.

the view of the camp from Eagles Nest Mountain.

The Summer of '96

in a few short days my husband and I will be gathering in our special place, Tall Timber Ranch, for a reunion of all staff as we honor the retiring camp directors. I worked on summer staff several times and have made life long connections with amazing people-- some of whom I have not seen in about 18 years. Getting ready for the reunion has sparked lots of special memories... this is just one...

A little red compact loaded to the gills, boxes and suitcases precariously stacked, each niche filled with one more thing we could't live without. My almost 15 year old daughter tucked into the front seat beside me, fiddling with the radio, finding only static and finally negotiating a cassette tape from the box at her feet. 

"Not too loud" I made it a suggestion, choosing to ignore the eye roll. We would share a small room for three months and I remember thinking if we didn't establish rules during a 4 hour car ride, the summer was sure to be challenging. I knew it was going to be a challenge regardless. 

For the previous several months she'd been living with her aunt, before that, her dad. My opportunity to work at our church camp for the summer and my invitation for her to join me would provide us a way to try living together again and see if we couldn't make this relationship work. It had been strained since the divorce and that was putting it politely. It was my heart's cry that somehow we forge ahead and build something between us we could honor. 

The job opportunity came on the heels of my recent engagement to the love of my life. We'd been dating for two years and the proposal had happen on a church retreat at the camp. That same weekend I had spied a notice on the camp bulletin board, advertising for summer staff. Working at a church camp, cooking in the vast kitchen appealed to me, so I had taken an application not really sure how that would fit in with any wedding plans I'd be making. With the encouragement of my fiance however, I submitted the application and was delighted when hired. The next step had been to ask my daughter if she would like to come with me for the summer. It was truly an answer to prayer that she'd agreed. 

Tall Timber Ranch is located in the middle of a glacier wilderness area. Bordered by rugged mountain ranges and glacier fed rivers, it had been serving and blessing kids of all ages for several decades. All my previous visits to the camp had been in winter, when snow was often piled to the eaves of the cabins. That year would be both my daughters and mine first visit to it in summertime. We would share a room in one of the lodges, live, work, worship and play in community of other summer staffers, most of whom were college age. 

The first week of orientation and training kept me much too busy to worry about what my girl was up to. Not that there was much cause for worry. Being in the middle of nowhere without any of the worldly distractions, surrounded by some stellar people, it was the perfect place to thrive. 

It wasn't long before she had bonded with several of the college age staff. She helped out in the craft room, volunteered with the primary campers, and celebrated her 15th birthday that summer. She also got to experience being a camper for one week. Some days I barely saw my daughter but I knew she was being loved on, and I breathed thankfulness every day for the quality of people who were impacting her life. She was officially a 'Camp Kid".

The summer flew by, weeks of intense heat, vicious mosquitoes, long days, short nights. Working in the kitchen from early morning till clean up after dinner left me exhausted but grateful for every knot in my aching shoulders. I was part of something bigger than sore muscles or tired feet. Lives were being changed, as some kids met Jesus for the first time, other's experiencing an up close and personal relationship with Him-- something deeper than the flannel-graph Jesus of Sunday School. 

As we approached the end of summer and with a wedding date set for September, I walked with my daughter down to the river. With cool sand beneath us, our toes bracing glacial river flow, I dared to ask what had been surging in my heart for weeks. Did she want to come back home with me? Was she willing to make an effort to be a part of a new family structure? 
Thankful beyond words, I heard her shy answer, "yes." 

The Summer of '96. We met amazing people, people who have stayed in my heart, my memories, and my life forever. Being at Tall Timber with my daughter gave us a place to heal our relationship and grow closer. It was wonderful. Some parents send their kids to summer camp; I took mine with me. 

me with my beautiful girl; she smiles much better now!

 coming next: Summer of '97-- I took my husband to camp!

Life is a Treasure

The sun is shining, there's not a cloud in the sky. The wind that charmed my wind chimes yesterday has died down and the temperature has come up. I've gotten in my walk, swiped some blossoms off a neighbor's tree and put them in a vase on my table. I've got laundry going and have sucked down my 3rd cup of coffee for the morning. I've cleaned out my junk mailbox, caught up on facebook and checked out craigslist.

It's just a day in the life of.

I've got no complaints, I feel content  and I am grateful for all my blessings. I am fully aware of how precious each moment of our lives is, perhaps today more than ever.

You see, today there are 2 memorials taking place. I'm not planning to attend, as I didn't really know either of them. But I do know the people who are grieving their passing so today, in my own way, I will take some time to honor their memory and hold my friends up in prayer.

One of the memorials is for the mother-in-law of a friend of mine. I met her once or twice many years ago. She lived a long vibrant life but the past couple years has been rough on the family as they watched her take that agonizing decline into dementia. And I would surmise that as much as saying good bye hurts, they are also rejoicing over her graduation to heaven.
I'm not there today my sweet friend but know I'm thinking of you and sending you hugs and prayers.

The other memorial is going to be much, much harder I am sure. This friend is saying good bye to her husband who passed away unexpectedly after brain surgery. I did not know her husband at all, except by name. And truthfully my friendship with D. is one of those kept alive only by the powers of facebook. She was a year behind me in school and we didn't hang out together but there was a short period in my life where we shared office space as we worked at our respective jobs. Being women, being wives, we shared more than office space, as over a period of months we revealed our hearts through our conversations. I know her as a sincere and gentle-hearted person  and my heart aches for her and what she is going through.
I'm not there today lovely lady, but you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Thinking about those kinds of losses makes me somber and thoughtful. I lost my dad about 8 years ago and I know the day is coming when Mom will go home too.

I don't even want to think about what life would be like if my husband was gone.

We just celebrated the 19th engage-aversary of when he proposed and every minute we have together is precious and treasured.(Yes, even when you snore and I have to elbow you honey- it's precious)


So, yes the sun is shining and there is not a cloud in the sky. I'm taking some time today to lift up those who have lost a loved one by embracing the moment and being grateful for those special people in my life.

BECAUSE LIFE IS INDEED, SWEET.

Insulated or Isolated?

I heard about this at a recent women's retreat. The difference of insulating yourself with good people and good things rather than isolating yourself from others and the world around you. Being one who cherishes her time alone and rather enjoys her own company, perhaps a little too much, this concept struck a nerve.

Only a couple of weeks before I had been thinking about and praying for a girlfriend who was going through a divorce. She'd moved to a new neighborhood, quit attending church and because of the divorce, no longer connected with the small group she and her husband had been attending. In short, she was pretty isolated as far as a real sense of family and community goes. As I prayed for her, I sensed the Holy Spirit nudging me with the question: What about yourself?

I had to stop for a moment and examine this. What about me? Was I, in my careful agenda of honoring my introverted nature, doing so to the exclusion of connecting with other women in ways that would benefit me spiritually? Sure, I co-lead a small group with my husband. Yes, I talk to my sister all the time. And, I am in contact with my gal-pals via Facebook on a regular basis. But was it enough? Was it deep enough, real enough, sincere enough? Was it challenging me, comforting me, feeding me?

I had to admit that because I am often seen in a leadership type role, I might be more inclined to hold back a piece of myself. I may encourage us all to be real, transparent and open and to model it but I know there are some people with whom you don't share it all. That's just common sense. But what I came away with in this little soul searching exercise was that I did need to be intentional about spending time with a few other spiritually mature women in order to keep growing and keep going.

This week, as I have previously mentioned, my husband and I are visiting his brother. C's wife passed away in April after a battle with cancer. This was the first time for us to have an intentional visit and it's been wonderful to have some quality time and of significant quantity. C's life is certainly in a transitional time. He works out of town for a few weeks at a time, then he is off for a few. Being home is when he notices her absence the most and it's been a big adjustment. He's contemplating selling the place and moving but he isn't rushing into any decisions. He is being intentional himself about taking time to grieve, time to think, and making time to keep in contact with family and friends.

His place, as I might also have mentioned, is situated a good several miles from town and his home along with only a smattering of others is perched on the edge of a decommissioned airport. The neighbors all respect each other's privacy but they also watch out for one another. They notice when things are not quite right. This past week one of the neighbors called C to ask about a new guy to their neighborhood. This new resident had only recently bought the property and was in the process of moving in so it wasn't too unusual that no one had seen him for awhile. But then enough time has passed that folks began to question where he was? Have you seen him? It's been a while, do you suppose everything is OK? It was eventually whittled down to the fact it had been several weeks since anyone in the neighborhood had seen him.

Yesterday afternoon a sheriff's car was noted in the yard of the unseen neighbor. And then the sad reality came out. He was found inside his home, deceased. While details are still pending what is known is that eventually a cousin wondered why they hadn't heard from him and eventually contacted the police to ask for a well check when they couldn't reach him on his phone. While the cause of death has yet to been announced, it was generally surmised that he'd been ill.

While the death of someone I don't even know is still sad, what is sadder still is that this man lived what looks to be a life of quiet isolation. C. says he only saw the guy a couple of times and while he was friendly enough it seemed the man was content in his solitude. The fact that his death went undetected and unnoticed for some time (we learned that the coroner estimated he'd been dead a week or more)  also speaks to his life of isolation. And while perhaps this is the life he purposely chose for himself, it is still so very sad.

It makes me ask why? Did he choose to be a hermit? Was he depressed? Did he not have close family, other than this cousin who eventually wondered what was going on? Did he have a job? Was he retired? No kids? No close friends who would say 'Hey where's Henry?"  What makes a person choose to live a life of solitude?

And, while I am again, content in my own company, it makes me still hope that my life has people in in who would definitely notice if they didn't hear from me for awhile! (and I know that I do) But how sad for those who have no one close, no one who would notice or wonder or worry. They say no man is an island. We all need someone, we all need each other. God designed us to be in community!

As a strong believer in the community of a loving small group, I really grieve for this man though I do not know his name or anything really about him. It makes me want to make sure that everyone has at least ONE person in their life who will notice if something isn't right. And it challenges me to BE that person to the one who has no one else.

What Did We Get?

caravan to Tall Timber

Take 20+ people of various ages and skill sets, 

5 vehicles, an assortment of  tools, luggage and bedding, 

and enough snacks to feed an army, 

spread them out over a 4 day period

 and see what you get. 

most of the crew acting 'normal'

rainbow of promise!

What we got was:

2 leaders who have been doing this Tall Timber thing for about 20 years. 

A core group that has gotten Tall Timber-itis and keeps coming back. 

Newbies who have never experienced the wonders of our favorite camp. 

Grasshopper Mountain

What we got was:

a list of chores, a plan to execute

work assignments, group time to play and pray

sore muscles, paint splattered clothing, blood, sweat, (but no tears)

weeds-be-gone

blood, sweat and giggles.

artistic touches

safety first

move that dirt!

know the plan

What we got was:

well fed, well housed

dirt moved and removed

weeds gone, flowers planted

grass mowed, trails blazed

mow it down

spread it around

What we got was:

game time, nap time

books read, hikes taken

fellowship, fresh air

sunshine and rain

wild life

sunshine!

What we got was:

a feeling of accomplishment

a sense of pride in a job well done

a better -closer relationship with our church family

time well spent in God's creation. 

having fun while we get it done.

little cabin in the big woods

What we got was something you cannot measure in weight or gold 

and cannot sell, buy or trade. 

What we got was something that can only happen 

when you make a sacrifice of time, money, and energy. 

What we got was something only a mission experience can bring you. 

Mission Tall Timber 2014.
THANK YOU EVERYONE! YOU ARE AWESOME!!

No Girls Allowed

Remember tree houses with rope ladders where little boys played serious games and absolutely did not allow girls to enter under any circumstances?

My husband attends a men's breakfast almost every Saturday. It's for men only; no girls allowed. The guys do all the shopping, prepping and cooking. They even clean up.  They call it a "Get fed twice" gathering because after their hearty breakfast, they open up God's Word and chew on that.

I love that my husband is studying the bible. I love that he is spending time in the company of other godly men. I love that he is growing in his relationship with God and his brothers. I love that I get to sleep in on Saturdays and not have to cook!

Awhile back someone in the group suggested they host a special breakfast for the ladies, as a way to serve them, but also to give them an opportunity to see what goes on in those sacred halls on a Saturday morning. This morning was the day. The day they let the ladies in.

I was greeted at the door by one of the men and then joined by my husband as soon  as he spotted me. He greeted me with a beautiful lush single red rose and a special valentines card.

He ushered me to my table and presented me with a lovely menu. I was told to chose whatever I wanted and he would get it for me.

It was beautifully orchestrated-- these guys went above and beyond to make us all feel special and welcome. They served us with gentle spirits and loving hearts.

After breakfast the men shared with us why they come to the men's breakfast; why learning about God and his word is so important to them and what a difference it has made in their lives. A couple of the women volunteered that they appreciate the changes they have seen take place in their husbands because of their involvement with this mens group. Awesome!

my yummy made to order plate of food, and in the corner there you can see my special valentines card. very ducky!!

I have to admit that I sometimes have some control issues...trying to micro-managing my husband seems to be a bad habit of mine. It was a little challenging for me to just sit and let him serve me -- and not tell him how to do it!

I am a blessed woman. I cannot adequately express how much I love this man!!

It was a lovely morning, a lovely breakfast and a sweet and much appreciated gesture. One of the guys said they thought they should do this for us again to which I quipped, "Mother's Day is coming!"

A 7-11 Jesus

The woman at the well is a familiar passage from the bible for most of us. She's used in sermon illustrations about as often as Peter walking on the water, Martha's whining over Mary not helping her with dinner and Lazarus being raised from the dead. So it always amazes me when I revisit a well known story and have a fresh take away.( I guess that is why we call the Word of God "LIVING".)

John 4:

10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”

11 “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”

13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

We were discussing the Woman at the Well the other night in our small group. The woman had this interesting exchange with Jesus-- the Great I AM-- and asks where she can get this water that will forever quench her thirst. Someone in our group made the comment "I don't think she got it." meaning the Samaritan Woman thought Jesus was talking about literal water when He was actually referencing the spiritual water that only He can give. Of course the Samaritan Woman wanted the water that would satisfy;  "Give me this water so I don't have to keep coming back to draw more water."

Don't we all want the easier way? I sometimes despair as I clean my house because I know by tomorrow the carpet will be in desperate need of another vacuuming, and the bathroom will need another disinfecting wipe down. I wonder if I, like the woman at the well, want what Jesus has to offer, only out of convenience, to make my life easier.

But did Jesus come to take away lifes challenges? Hmmm...... I'm thinking He is more concerned with changing us inside  in order to empower us to deal with our problems with a more Christ like perspective. Yet, here I am, acting like Jesus is some corner-market convenience store I can run to when I am running low on supplies.

I do my major grocery shopping about once every two weeks. I stock up with enough meat and veggies to make the meals I have planned out but in between those big shopping trips, there will be several quick visits to the market on the corner for bread and eggs, or some forgotten ingredient, or when I am desperate for cream in my coffee early in the morning, the gas station-quickie-mart across the road from my house.

I get my big fill up of Jesus on Sunday mornings, soaking in His presence as we worship, taking notes as our Pastor exegesis and it's all good. But if I don't supplement my Sunday with DAILY dips into God's Word, if I don't stop and have some heart felt conversation with my Jesus, if I just coast all week on Sundays message it will be like having pancakes without butter and syrup, oatmeal without milk and--- horror of horrors--- coffee sans cream.

In other words, it won't satisfy.

Too often I am ashamed to admit, I end up treating my Savior like a 7-11 Jesus. I know he's there 24/7 and he's got all the things I need in a pinch. So I dash in and grab the stuff I need like, safety for my husband on the job, healing for all those people on my list-- you know who they are Lord, and please make things go smoothly for my friends who are struggling..... oh, and Jesus, could you make my life go slower so I won't have to do this mad-dash prayer routine? 

Well, that's just nuts but it's a reality thats played out much too often to my chagrin.

I dusted the living room today and shook my head sadly as I wiped particles of dust off my bible. I flipped it open to the card with the Daily Reading Plan many of us in church are following. Yep, its marking the chapter for last weeks reading. Oops. So I sat down and read. I read up to today. And guess what? We are in the book of John and it's chapter 4. The Woman at the Well.

Which brings me full circle. The woman wanted the water that would satisfy so she wouldn't have to keep coming back to draw more buckets from the well. It was a lot of work hauling water home each day and she was tired of the scornful looks she got from her neighbors who knew her shameful past (5 husbands!) and her shameful present (living with a man she wasn't married to). She yearned for her life to be made easier. And Jesus offers her water that isn't from a well. Jesus offers her water that will satisfy eternally; a spring of water welling up to eternal life.

I said I gleaned some new stuff from reading this familiar passage in the gospel of John.

I realized I'm thirsty.

Nothing Tastes As Good As...

skinny feels. 

Making those New Year's Resolutions is easy. It's the sticking to it that provides the challenge.


I, like so many others I know, kind of gave up the making of resolutions each January in favor of choosing a word to live by for the year. The word I chose for 2014 is Relationships. It feels good to have one thing to focus on. One thing to be intentional about. One purpose to pursue. In the past, words like, Love, Health, Forgiveness, and Grace, have made my list. But this year it's relationships; this word choice came to me at the recent family reunion we celebrated.

Not two weeks into the new year and I see my word bearing fruit. An estranged relationship that has long brought me considerable heartache, and kept me in prayer, has had a wee break through. It requires much patience and restraint on my part as we baby step through a minefield of old wounds. But each step, be it tiny or not, is a move toward what I pray will one day bring understanding, forgiveness, and eventually, healing.

Not two weeks into the new year and I see my word bearing fruit. Our small group-- LIFE group-- restarted this past week. We've added some new faces to the circle and decided on a new course of action for study and growth. We'll be reading the book of John and reviewing sermon notes (which directly correlates to the the gospel of John) for the next several weeks. Our first night however was spent just getting to know each other a little more. We took turns pulling questions out of a can, and sharing our answers. Each question was intended to spark conversation and learn something about one another. It was fun and informative. We learned that if given a time machine to travel anywhere into the past, I would choose to step into the pages of my favorite novel, Gone With The Wind, right about the time Scarlett O' Hara meets Rhett Butler for the very first time. (My sweet husband informed me that the place I'd chosen to travel was fictional -- like that made it a wrong answer, but I pointed out that time travel machines are fictional too, so there! --- yes, we are modeling good mature behavior to our life group members)

Not two weeks into the new year and I see my word bearing fruit. My ladies group also resumed this week. It's smaller than it was before but also has added a new face. We are going to be using the book Captivating, by John and Staci Eldridge. Just the other day I delved into the study guide that goes with the book and came to a screeching halt before I'd gotten half way down the page. We're going to be dealing with some emotional stuff in the next several weeks. Gulp. I thought that baggage got shipped to Siberia or Timbuktoo many many years ago but judging from the niggle in my gut, it would seem there are some areas that need a little tune up....

Not two weeks into the new year and I see some changes happening. My attitude about some relationships in my life that seem out of balance, some relationships that annoy me to no end, some relationships that I may just have to let go of, some relationships that are proving unhealthy... all cause for prayer. Choices to make, follow through needed, accountability, and always, always, more grace needed.

Not two weeks into the new year and physically speaking I pause for a celebration. I have successfully maintained my weight loss through what is known as the toughest time of the year for dieters. I maintained my exercise schedule despite some really nasty weather. To reward myself for all my excellent behavior, I bought new walking shoes and some waterproof jogging pants. I was also rewarded when I went clothes shopping by finding myself trying on a pair of jeans another size down from what I have been wearing. (I am sure the sales gals thought something was wrong in the dressing room when I whooped out loud, but I don't care! My relationship with stretch denim is special.)

I started this post off by saying nothing tastes as good as skinny feels but truthfully, for me it's nothing tastes as good as healthy feels. And, by golly, it feels good. 

and so we reflect

It's the last day of 2013. A time for reflection, examining the past, and then pressing onward, looking to the future with expectations. I came across this popular post on Facebook , perhaps you have seen it? It is credited to the popular author Debbie Macomber and it's an excellent tool for thought provoking conversations with others and ourselves.

What was one of the greatest blessings I experienced this past year?

Three things immediately come to mind and it is hard to pick just ONE but these top 3 need little explanation for making my list. 

1. Mom moving into Summit Place Assisted Living; she is settled in and thriving in her new environment

2. My sister and bro-in-love moving here. 

3. Our oldest grandson coming to visit for a week. 

What was one of the biggest challenges you faced?

Oh, wow. It was Bruce's decision to go on his mission trip to Honduras that challenged me in SO many ways. It tested our relationship, it stretched me in ways I thought would make me snap.  It required great relinquishment on my part and subsequently a deeper spirit of submission to both God and my husband. It also required forgiveness and acceptance, both of which were difficult for me to arrive at. It was not my favorite experience of 2013 by far, but yet it was also a very crucial part. I don't know yet what that sort of testing may someday lead up to, but I sense it is definitely part of a bigger plan God has for the two of us. EEk!!

What lesson did you learn from that challenge?

Not to try and navigate these sorts of things on our own. I think sometimes we forget that God created us to live in community and we neglect to bring in the wise council of strong fellow believers. It is natural and right for a married couple to turn to each other first when facing a challenge but what do you do when the challenge has you on opposite sides? For too many weeks Bruce and I were at such odds over his decision and we thought we could navigate this turbulent trial through continued conversations but those conversations only left me more angry and resentful. Finally we sought the counsel of 2 couples from our church that we respect and trust. It didn't solve the dilemma but it calmed the storm raging inside me. And that was the first major step in bringing me to a place of acceptance.  

How can use that lesson to help you grow as a person?

By realizing how much another believer can help me, I came to understand that if I offer that sort of help to someone else who is struggling, that in turn will grow me in ways that will never happen if I keep it to myself. One of my roles as a leader of a small group is to come along side of another and support or mentor them. I feel a strong affinity for young married women in particular. Not that I am an expert on marriage by any stretch of the imagination but I can offer to listen and to pray. I can turn them to God's word for instructions and encourage them as others have encouraged me. I liken this to my past role as a fitness coach. I learned the work out and then began to teach it to others. It not only was a benefit to my members but it served to reinforce my own learning of the workout. As a result, both the women who came to my club and myself, grew stronger. I look forward to using my own past experiences to fuel both myself and another who is challenged, into a brighter tomorrow. 

You know, 2013 was a pretty good year! There were plenty of other blessings and challenges that I could pull out and examine and I probably will as the week rolls on. Today brings to mind this scripture passage from Hebrews; Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses,  let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance, the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith...

Good bye 2013.... and let's get ready to embrace with JOY the New Year!!

my heart is full

"My soul glorifies the Lord 

and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior..." 

Luke 1. 46

Birthdays. Christmas. Family reunions. Relationships. Celebrations. Laughter. Tears. Hello's and good byes. 

I said before, December is a full month but what I really mean is that my heart is full. Full to overflowing. The outpouring of love and affirmations that came with my birthday party-- being surrounded by some of the best people in the world...  Celebrations that shine bright in my memory hall of fame... being together with family, investing in those relationships... these are the moments I treasure. 

I was excited for my family reunion this weekend but I underestimated the measure of joy and fullness it would bring. There was a time in my life where the thought of spending the day with family depressed me. (I was a surly teen of course) Even in my adulthood there were occasions for us to gather and I sighed with resignation because our relationships were fractured, or tenuous. But, O thank the Lord, thank the Lord, for the healing He brings. Not because my family is a new and improved version. No it's the healing in my own heart and mind to see and appreciate the wonder of my brothers and sisters, to delight in their uniqueness, to enjoy their antics, to gain a better understanding of each of them and their special contributions to the world and to our family. 

My oldest brother is 11 years my senior. He is severely mentally handicapped. He lived at home until in his 20's and since then has been living in supervised residences. His communication skills are limited and his behavior is... well, odd. We have no idea what is going on in his mind and how much he really understands when we talk to him. But he is a child of God and a delight unto the Lord. One of God's masterpieces. 

My second brother is 10 years older than me. It felt like I really didn't know him until recent years. He and his wife, my sister-in-love, played a significant role in my life during and after my divorce and became very close friends of mine and Bruce's in the years prior to their move to Montana. I miss them so much and so the visit with them over the past 2 days was so dear to me. Saying goodbye was hard. 

Then comes my sister. Oh, my dear readers, you know how I feel about my sister. She has my heart without a doubt. My other half in some ways. I wonder sometimes if we aren't really twins, born 5 years apart. And to think, now that she lives here, goodbye's are really just see you later!

In our family line up, I am next and I was the baby of the family for 9 years. Then.... a surprise. Baby brother was born. We didn't really get along until long after I was out of the house. He makes me laugh, sometimes even on purpose! He was a great host, along with his sweet wife, for our family hoedown. 

With a large house and a brand new smoker/bbq, they kept us well fed and comfortably ensconced for a full day of sitting and gabbin'. 

everybody and their dog. One brother has 2, another brother has 3. Not seen are 3 more belonging to various other family members. 

As Bruce and I drove home last night we talked about the meaning of holidays, the meaning of Christmas. To remember that Christmas is all about Jesus-- God sending his son into the world to save us, to have relationship with us. That's what it's all about. And building relationship with those around us, investing in those relationships, that is our purpose here on earth, regardless of what career you were designed for, regardless of the talents and gifts you have, it all comes down to relationships. 

birthday lunch for Bruce.

Our last event of the weekend was a farewell party for our senior pastor and his wife who have retired from our church to enter full time into overseas missions. They have poured themselves into the lives of their congregations, holding nothing back. I have never been so impacted by a pastor, never been so challenged. It was with much laughter and tears that we celebrated the years they have given and sent them off proper to go on to the next chapter of their lives. The place was packed with people who feel similar to how I feel about the impact he has made in their lives. And again it was all about investing in relationships. 

it's all about relationships

2013 is coming to a close and with a new year before us it's time to re-evaluate and look ahead. I already know what my word for the new year will be. Yes, that's right. RELATIONSHIPS. I look forward to a heart that is filled to overflowing. 

Reflections

Meet Bossy, Hossy, Saucy and Flossy. Everyone knows Thumbkin.

Several years ago my sweet niece gifted me with these ADORABLE fun winter gloves. I just love them and must admit to seeing raised eyebrows when people see what my fingers are sporting! But hey, I love to play and I love to have fun--- and I don't mind a strange look or two!

I think that is truly something to celebrate... when we reach that time in our lives when we can laugh at ourselves. Not take ourselves too seriously. Being ME and being comfortable in that. That's a gift!

In high school I watched from the sidelines as the popular girls flirted with the jocks, never dreaming they might have had just as many insecurities as I did. They had the looks, the hair, the wardrobe and the personality. It seemed like they had it all. And what did I have? A flat chest, a sad wardrobe, acne, strict parents, bad hair days every day and no idea how to act if a popular boy was to ever give me the time of day!

mooooving and grooooving.  it was theme day at work...

I think going to my high school class reunion last year (35 years) really helped cement the fact that we are all just people trying to live our lives as best we can. We were all struggling in high school to figure out this thing called life and some of us seemed to have a better handle on it then others. Or maybe just faked it better.

I think the first time I looked in my mirror and liked who I saw was when  I was approaching my mid-30's. I saw a clear smooth complexion, curves in the right place, cute clothes to enhance the curves and a much more flattering hair style. I knew more about how to wear make up and not look made up. I was gaining confidence as woman and that went deeper than what I saw looking back from the mirror at me.

goofing off while on vacation

The first time I let my sweetie see me without make up, sporting a bed-head and desperate for coffee was a major step. But the first time I went on a church retreat and let the people in my small group see me sans make up, sporting a bed-head and desperate  for coffee was the moment I knew I had arrived.

what do you call a lack of coffee? Depresso....

I have trembled slightly when I have written the number "55"... it's kind of a big deal you know? BUT I remember feeling like I was OLD when I turned 25 and my first born started kindergarten and my sister remarked that I was a 1/4 of a century old. (thanks sis!) All the subsequent birthdays have rolled by with ease... at 40 years of age I was happily (re)married, working in a job I took great pride in, growing deeper in my relationship with Jesus and loving my life. I did not flinch over my age but happily agreed with the gal in the mirror that I looked as good as I felt. (lest you think I brag, let me assure you, I looked good BECAUSE I felt good and that inner glow makes all the difference)

well, hello there!

At 50, I took stock in my life, assessed the damage that fifty years of good (and bad) living had done and decided that perhaps the bloom on the rose was starting to -- uh--- droop just a tad. Gravity was having it's way, whether I owned a fitness center or not!! Hot flashes, love handles, and some unsightly gray (can't even call them silver-- they were definitely gray) hairs cropping up, were all just par for the course. Still, in spite of those things I realized there were much more important things to focus on; relationships being #1.

I think my relationship with God really moved into a much deeper priority by then and it saddens me to think that it took that many years to place Him that high up the ladder. Yes, I have been a believer since I was 9 years old but I didn't really think about how He might have plans for my life and I might want to consult Him on those plans from time to time. (I realize Moses was in his 80's before God brought him into the ultimate purpose his life was designed for but I think I caught on earlier than that!!)

A few years ago I asked God to help me see myself as He sees me and while I know I still have a ways to go in this, I realize now, I always will. But the confidence with which I pursue life these days comes not just from the life experiences I  survived, but from understanding and believing that I truly am a Child of God; redeemed, forgiven, washed clean, sanctified, set apart and chosen.

So, here comes 55 and I think I am ready. I recently lost 25 lbs and this is the least I have weighed in about 20 years. I am walking 3-4 miles almost every day and reaping the benefits of  good physical exercise. I got my hair cut and colored today and feel vibrant and sassy.

the price we pay for beauty...

On the outside, the bloom may be coming off the rose, but inside.... inside, I know my purpose in life --as a writer, as a woman, as a wife, and I love each and every aspect of those roles. God still has a plan for my life. And I am determined, by His Grace, to know it and live it.

for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, plans to prosper you and give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29.11