Yeah, About That...

Did you ever set out to do something you think might prove earth shattering, monumental, even life changing, only to discover that in the grand scheme of things it was just a small blip? 

 I took a break from Facebook. I determined a break of one week and as previously reported, it proved harder than I thought it would be. But as I progressed through the week I learned some things. (None of which were earth shattering, monumental or life changing.)

1.  Life goes on with or without a Facebook connection. (shocking, I know!)

2.  I don't need to know everything that is happening. (translation: it's not about me)

3. No one really missed me (well that's always an ego-buster but humbling can be good for the soul) 

4. There were plenty of other things to do (and instagram/twitter/scrabble, were not on the list)

But probably the most important was this:

5. That it wasn't so much about fasting from something, it was really more about examining the condition of my heart. 

How'd I do? I wish I could say that I used all the time I wasn't engaged in social media to read my bible, pray more, preach the gospel, or save the world but honestly? My week was pretty much the same as it always was, just without any status updates to support that.

I wanted the time away to re-prioritize but upon a closer look, I learned my priorities are in pretty good shape. That was affirming in its own way but then… a couple of days before my self-imposed fast ended, I "cheated.”

I belong to a monthly photo challenge group (on Facebook) where each day we post a picture according to the daily prompt. I really wanted to participate in that and had missed out on several days. So, fast or no fast, I logged in to share my picture for that day. There I found a private message from someone else in the photo challenge group, someone I had never met. Her message in a nutshell, said she wanted me to know that she saw my life on Facebook as a witness and a testimony. She said because of my Facebook posts, she'd learned of my blog and read a couple of posts here that truly blessed her. She shared some things about her life and why my blog posts had spoken to her heart. I cannot tell you what a gift that was!

On my sidebar, you might notice a verse from Acts 20.24.  But my life is worth nothing unless I use it for doing the work assigned to me by the Lord Jesus; the work of telling others the good news about God’s kindness and love. Acts 20.24  This verse serves as my mission statement in regards to my writing. 

When I read this dear woman’s message, I felt like I had gotten a little postcard from God, confirming that what I do with my writing wasn't being wasted. I felt humbled that God could use me, to use my writing to minister to anyone.

So, the Facebook Fast wasn't earth shattering, monumental, or even life changing. But it was worth it. 

The Facebook Fast

The questions stared up at me from the printed page on my lap. I squirmed in discomfort as I pondered what was being asked. Squirming inside, because the questions struck a nerve. And I knew immediately what the answer was.

Hello, My name is Robyn and I'm a facebook-aholic. It's been 3 days, 2 hours and 18 minutes since my last facebook check in...

Sunday Morning. Sitting in church. Program insert with sermon notes on my lap. Pen poised, I scan the page. At the end of the notes are the questions; Life Application Questions to be exact. The first one leaps up at me, and it doesn't just threaten to bite me, it BITES ME.
1. Identify three areas of your life that take up your time; what are they and what practical changes can you make this week to focus more of your energy on the One Who Is Worthy? 

I started using Facebook back in 2007 and at first it was just an occasional visit. Checking in to see what my friends were up to, maybe post a little status update of my own. It was harmless and fun and a great way to stay connected without overcommitting myself. Everyone was doing it.

Without any hesitation I could easily identify three things that occupied a great deal of my time each day and it wasn't Jesus. Yes, I read from my bible most every day and have some cool stuff, like the bible app on my phone and email devotionals. Just recently my husband and I have started doing our morning bible reading together and then praying together before he leaves for work. I listen almost exclusively to praise music in the car and when I'm at home. I try to say a prayer each time I hear a siren screaming down the highway and I try to offer an encouraging word when I read a distressing post on facebook.... I always feels like Jesus is right there with me.I believe He's walking with me every day.... So really, if Jesus is the air I breathe, like the song says, aren't I always proclaiming He is Worthy?

I've tried justifying my time on Facebook, saying I'm using it as a tool for witnessing and being an encourager. I list prayer requests and I honor prayer requests. I see a need and I step in to help where I can. An occasional game of Scrabble or Words With Friends is harmless too right? It's not like I am doing that hard stuff like Farmville or Crushing Candy. Shoot, I don't even POKE, for crying out loud! ...... OK, OK, so I Bitstrip!! But I made at least one of those cartoons into a Warrior for God witnessing tool!!

Let's be fair. Facebook isn't really evil. It does serve a purpose and it's a good one. It keeps us connected and informed and even entertained.  It allows me to stay connected with my kids and grandkids who live on the other side of the county. None of those things are bad or wrong -- no, on the contrary, they are fabulous and fun and good! But, like all things, it's to be done in MODERATION.  And that is where I was falling down.

Jesus replied: "I am the bread of life, whoever comes to be will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty." John 6.35.  I know that Jesus alone can satisfy the hunger inside of us. But I was using other things to fill me up. Instagram, Twitter, Email, even Blogging was a good portion of my day. But, Facebook was the biggest one.

When I got my smartphone and could install all these cool apps I thought it was pretty sweet. Like I said, I had a bible app-- actually TWO bible apps, and being able to take and post a picture right from my phone was really quite awesome! But, it wasn't long before I was checking my phone every minute that I wasn't doing something else. Then it was checking my phone INSTEAD OF doing something else. It wasn't long before I realized I was addicted.

Something inside of me was empty and I was using social media to try and fill it.

From my Sunday sermon notes: Life is full of counterfeit imitations that promise to fulfill. Our only hope is a fierce hunger for the only ONE who can give us what we need. 

Our pastor reminded us of the people of Moses' time, and the 40 years they wandered in the desert. God gave them a miracle every single day.  He gave them manna to sustain them. But He didn't dole out a week's worth every Sabbath. He supplied it fresh, each day. Just enough for that day.

God is still in the manna supply business. Daily. Just enough for today, because that's all we need. Coming to church on Sunday for a fill up is great but it's not enough. God wants daily connection with us. With me. And I need it so much more than I am sometimes willing to admit.

Another probing question on my sermon notes was this: 'AM I ENOUGH FOR YOU ________?" (The 'fill in the blank' presumably for me to insert my name, as in Jesus asking me "Am I enough for you, Robyn?")
I really want to be able to say that yes, He is.

I realize that Facebook may not be an issue for other people but it was/has certainly gotten in the way of other things for me. As I drove home from church I knew that some changes were in order. I  often have said "God's Book before Facebook" but I sometimes broke that rule, and I knew setting a time limit wasn't going to work for me. I needed something serious. Something severe. Something drastic. I needed to take a Facebook Fast. No Facebook for a set period of time so I could re-prioritize my time. I decided to LOG OFF my Facebook account that very day.

This hasn't proved easy for me. My fingers itched to hit the facebook icon on my phone, so I deleted the icon for now. The burning desire to check in and see what's happening shows me that this break is much needed. But during the first two days I twittered more than I have in months and when I instagram, I hesitate-- do I share this on Facebook or not? Would that be considered cheating? But, I realized that in taking this break, I get to make the rules and it's not about how long I stay away from Facebook or even, really, about staying away in the first place. It's about recognizing Priorities. It's about the condition of my heart. It's about how I go about meeting my needs. Like eating or shopping or gambling or drinking to numb the pain or fill a void, when really, it wont.  Where do I go FIRST when I feel lost .... or lonely... or hurting... or sad... or confused... or bored??? I want with all my heart to be able to honestly say, I go to The One Who Is Worthy. The One who gives Daily Bread so I will never be hungry again.

Hello, my name is Robyn and I am in recovery. 

What's in Your Bread Basket?

Jesus said "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty." (John 6.35)

I'm gluten intolerant. It has taken some adjusting but eventually I got the hang of it. I got past the withdrawals of not having toast for breakfast or a muffin with my coffee. I learned to cook using substitute flours or pastas or just going without. It didn't kill me. In fact, I feel healthier. But the kind of bread Jesus was talking about wasn't the hot, fresh out of the oven, smothered with butter kind. He said HE WAS the bread. A few posts back I wrote about the Woman at the Well and her wanting Jesus to give her the water that would forever quench her thirst. Here, Jesus is saying he'll not only satisfy your thirst, but he'll satisfy your hunger too.

Life is full of things that promise to fulfill us but they are most often temporary or, worse, counterfeit. I love to shop and my husband once asked me 'how many pieces of clothing does a woman need? when is it enough?" (Silly question. My answer was rhetorically phenomenal: How many tools does a man need before he has enough? When he sat there is a seemingly stumped silence I added: clothing are MY tools for looking good for you. Ha ha!)  Yet in all seriousness, while that little rush I get when I make my purchase is fun, it doesn't last. When I eat my lunch, it won't be but a few hours before I am ready to eat again. That's the way my body was designed. It needs food-fuel on a regular basis to run properly. So it is with my spirit. I need regular fill ups from Jesus and just once a week on Sunday isn't going to do it. I want to be hungry, fiercely hungry, for the only ONE who can give me what I really need.

I have tried some gluten free breads. Hmmm....... Let me just say, they never measure up. I might not notice it in brownies (put enough sugar in something and it is bound to taste good) but when it comes to making a sandwich? Sorry, gluten-free bread, you just don't satisfy. It's gotta be the real deal or nuthen'. It's the same with Jesus. Those counterfeit substitutes will not fill me in a way that will sustain me.

When the Israelites wandered in the desert for those 40 years, God sent manna from heaven to feed them. He didn't dole out a portion once a week to carry them through till the next week. No, God supplied what they needed that day. He gave them just enough for the day and every morning there was fresh manna. Jesus is still in the bread business. He offers us a daily portion of Himself hoping we will come with a hunger only He can meet.

If I passed around a bread basket at the dinner table and you pulled out one of the gluten free products, you might be a little disappointed. (a LOT disappointed) Especially if you were expecting hot, fresh out of the oven bread, smothered with butter. Yet, how often does the breadbasket of life choices fall short of offering true satisfaction?

I have often find myself trying to fill up my soul with substitutes. Yes, the shopping. Yes, watching a movie or reading a book (not a bad thing by any means!) Sometimes its frivolous things; mani-pedi time. But probably by far the thing that occupies my time more than anything are the social media outlets.  I'm not saying any of these things are wrong. What I am saying is I recognize that often I am trying to fill a void in my life that only ONE can fill yet I keep going for the counterfeit basket of bread.

I was recently challenged (convicted) in my spirit to make some changes about how I spend my time. In an effort to re-prioritize, and to re-focus, I decided to unplug from facebook for awhile. This is day one, and I have to admit, it's harder than I thought it would be. Having that smartphone capability has made it too easy to allow other things to distract me or entertain me when I might be doing things that would be of far more value. I keep picking up my phone and twiddling with it, determined to NOT GO THERE. I have plenty of other things to do but I guess I hadn't really realized what a habit the facebook thing has become.
I said once that it has to be "God's book before Facebook" but even that rule has gotten bent a time or two.
So this week I am taking a deeper look at this thing called the Bread of Life, examining how I can better use my time to bring glory to the One Who Is Worthy.

So, tell me friends; what's in your bread basket?

Martha, Mary and Me

I realize the amount of "Things To Do" between now and when we leave Wed. is of such magnitude that the last thing I should be doing is sitting here but as I said on my Facebook status this morning, the next two days will require Martha-like diligence and the only way to survive this is to start the day like Mary.

I have often experienced Mary-Martha tug-of-wars. I want to just sit at the feet of Jesus and rest and revel in His presence but obligations, responsibilities and perhaps even some pride have often tripped me up. I know Martha often gets a bad rap and I would love to write about this at greater length.     Some day.
I would love to delve more fully into the peace and wisdom that comes with Mary's actions.      Another day.
For right now I just needed to express that for those of you who are facing your own 'to-do' lists as you count down the days till Christmas, as you worry over details, remember.... there is really only ONE thing to be concerned about....

"But the Lord said to her, "My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it and it will not be taken away from her." ~ from the Gospel of Luke, chapter 10


May you find a little peace today.

Are You A Multi- Tasker?

I'm a born multi-tasker. I love going for my morning walk knowing that while I am gone my dishes are being scrubbed clean in the dishwasher and my clothes will be ready to go from washer to dryer when I return. I love knowing that while I am running errands all day, a savory stew is bubbling in the crock pot and will be ready to devour when I get home.

I can even make my walks more than just about walking. It's a time for reflecting, plotting stories in my head, praying for others. And if I'm walking with a friend, we're not just working those thighs-- that jaw muscle is getting used and friendships enriched in the process.

Yes, I love to multi- task.

Sometimes it comes back to bite me however. The other day I was chopping and stirring and measuring, I had 3 pots on the stove, a pan ready for the oven and all my concentration centered around cooking up these casseroles. And my husband walked in with a packet in his hand. He had been working on house plans and wanted to share with me the fruit of his labors. I had to apologetically warn him that while he was free to talk and wave papers in front of my face, I would not be able to give him my undivided attention. If that was what he wanted, he would need to wait until I was through with my meal prep.

I am married to a gracious man. He was happy to wave papers in my face and settle for my non-committal grunts but we both knew that at some point he was hoping for a more focused approach to what he had to share. I'm the same way. I don't want to share what is on my heart when he's buried in bill paying or working in the shop. Yet, sometimes I do and settle for his non-committal grunts.

I remember when my daughter was small. I was sitting on the floor, playing with her but not fully engaged. She suddenly grabbed my face with both of her chubby little hands. Forcing me to look right at her she said quite solemnly, something she must have heard me say more than once.... "Mommy, pay 'tention to me!"

I chuckle at the memory even as I shake my head, for I am sure I am guilty of this in my spiritual walk as well. In Psalm 46.10 we read  "Be Still and Know that I Am God." Yet how often do I cram my bible reading into another multi-tasking project. I listen to praise music and call that my quiet time as I whisk around the house with a broom and a dust rag. Are there times when God wants to grabs my face with His Hands and say solemnly "Robyn, pay attention to me."?

Ah, I am sure He does. And has. The times I have been rendered useless due to the fibromyalgia flare ups. Or the insomnia- infused nights where tossing and turning yields no results. Are those the things God might use instead of chubby little hands?

I think listening to praise music while I clean my house or drive my car is a great way to incorporate Worship into my day. But I am also realizing more and more how much God wants my undivided attention.

And how much I need His.


from Psalm 62....

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
    my hope comes from him.
⁶ Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
    he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
⁷ My salvation and my honor depend on God
    he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
⁸ Trust in him at all times, you people;
    pour out your hearts to him,
    for God is our refuge.

I should be studying

Tomorrow I will drive the 90 minutes it takes to reach the Big Post Office in Everett,  to take the postal workers exam. Am I anxious? A little. Tests, especially 'timed' ones, will do that to a person. I did get the Postal Workers guidebook from the library last week and it has the test in it so you can study and take the test and see how well you do and where you need to study more.

The more I study, the more I realize how long it's been since I've been in school and needed to study for anything!! And I realize my forgetter works a whole lot better than my rememberer. Acck! Well, the bottom line is, I am counting on God to open or close the door. I am doing my part by preparing as best I can and then leave the rest up to Him. If working in a post office is where He wants me, then I will soon find out!

I also have discovered just how good I  am at procrastinating. I will allow all sorts of things to distract me from the things I don't want to do. And funny how even some of the things I don't want to do normally, suddenly become much more attractive when contrasted against something even less attractive. Suddenly dishes, laundry and bed making seem SO vital when compared to homework. And all of those things can be dropped down further on the list when I realize I haven't blogged in a few days and I need to get something up!

Yesterday, Sunday, was the perfect day. Worship in the morning, followed by a lazy sunny day. Some dear friends stopped by for a brief visit after church and we sat in the shade and enjoyed the wafting breeze and  the heat and sipped glasses of iced tea. After they left hubby kicked back in his chair for the Sunday nap and I lost myself in a good book until the heat induced sleepies pulled me under and I too was out for the count. I can't remember the last time I napped for as long as I did and when I finally woke up, it had finally cooled off enough to sit in the dining room and look at my study book again. Too bad my back was complaining, making sitting for too long an uncomfortable thing. Too bad the mosquitoes were bugging me. Too bad I was suddenly so hungry. Yes, anything to distract me.

Like so many things in life.... we get so easily distracted. It is a constant battle for me to keep the better thoughts, the positive ones, the life giving ones, at the forefront. Instead so often it's the negative, life draining thoughts that threaten to consume me. I have to chose to focus on the positive, chose to make the healthy better options be the ones I go with. Chose to put God first no matter what.

Back to the books I go. And I think some time in God's Book needs to come first.

Happy Monday!

Priorities

I am doing a series of posts on Embracing Change with specific leanings toward health and fitness. Interestingly enough I am seeing how these thoughts are tools I can use to apply to other areas of my life, such as my spiritual life. Welcome to the journey!



Now that we have identified the problem, the second step in embracing change is to Prioritize the problem.

Prioritizing requires us to stop and consider how this problem rates with other issues we might be dealing with in our lives right now. Ask yourself some questions... they might sound something like this:
> with my financial budget in such dire straights can I afford a gym membership?
> with small children at home and in need of constant attention, how can I find the time, let alone the energy for any kind of fitness program?
> will I make time to prepare healthy nourishing meals instead of the pre-packaged (and often more affordable) stuff I have in my pantry?
> will I be able to stick to an eating plan during holiday and family festivities/vacations?

 One of the things I picked up on over and over again in my years as the owner of a women's fitness center was that we women are so good at putting ourselves last. I think women really struggle to justify any time for themselves, much less for their health. What irony! If we don't take care of ourselves, we soon won't be able to take care of those we love! BUT when we make our health a priority-- or at least get it on our list of to-do's, we win, our family wins, our job wins, and so does our energy and our spirit.

So, here are today's questions as we prioritize the problem.

1. how will exercise and weight loss help you with other priorities you may have?

2. how will you rearrange your priorities so that nutrition and health can receive adequate attention?

3. list the ways that putting your health first will benefit you.


It is fitting that on this Holiest of Holy Days, we remember that our salvation was God's Greatest Priority, so much so that He sent His Only Son, to die for our sins so that we might be set free to live eternally. Some day I am going to live in heaven where I will have a new body that I believe will be healthy and whole. Until that day comes however, I have to work at getting-- and keeping-- this body in good shape so that I can serve in the way God wired me to serve.

May God speak to you this Good Friday... remember.... it's Friday but Sunday's Coming!