The Summer of '97; the Sequel

If you've been following my blog for any length of time, you probably already know that Tall Timber Ranch holds a very special place in my heart. It's where I met my sweetie, and where our courtship sparked, it's where he popped the question a couple of years later and it's where we visit when ever we get the chance. It is also where we lived the first summer after we married.

Grasshopper Mountain in the morning light

 Having worked in the kitchen for summer camp the year before, I was ready and willing to give it another go. I was prepared for the long tiring days because I also knew the rewards that came with the job. Being a part of a team effort that reached children of all ages and introduced them to the love of Jesus was worth every aching muscle, even every burn from the grill. Not to mention,Tall Timber is located in such a beautiful setting, it takes your breath away every time you walk outside and face the massive mountain range that borders the camp. Yep, I was looking forward to another experience at the camp.

making pans and pans full of jo-jo's!

The catch was... what about Bruce? Well, I certainly didn't relish the idea of being separated all summer. Being apart the year before had been challenging but we weren't married then! We thought the idea of living at the camp for the summer to be a fun one, if we could just find a way to make it work on his end. The only way was if he could land a job near there. Hmmm.

He began detailing the criteria he'd need for a temporary job.

1. Construction work, obviously; something he enjoyed doing would be sweet.

2. It needed to be located close enough to Tall Timber that commuting wouldn't be a big hassle.

3.  It needed to be one job- something that would last from June-August or Sept.

4. Preferably paid by the hour, not a bid, at prevailing wage.

And just to make it a little more challenging, he added that it would be nice if he knew the person or company well enough ahead of time to know if it would be a good working environment.

Well, that's quite a list and once I heard it my heart sank just a little. It wasn't that I doubted God could orchestrate it. It was that Bruce was painting a pretty tight circle around our mission opportunity. Add to this, I really needed to give the camp a definite answer about the job and soon. With no leads on any carpentry work and a decision about the assistant cook position waiting, the pressure was getting rather intense.

Finally the moment arrive where we said, Look, do we trust God or not? We believe He's calling me to come back and work at the camp. We want to go. Do we say yes and trust that God will bring Bruce work? What if we say yes and no work develops for Bruce and he has to return home in order to work? Can we deal with that? With prayer and faith, we decided to go for it. I called the camp and affirmed I would be there in June.

The next day... the VERY NEXT DAY, Bruce got a phone call from a contemporary in the construction world. A builder/supplier of log home kits, he was calling to ask Bruce about doing some sub-contracting work for him... (which he'd done in the past) and as the conversation developed, Bruce explained what our plans for the summer were.... and guess what???  Mr. M. just so happened to have a log house kit being erected in Leavenworth Wa, which was a 40 minute drive from Tall Timber. He needed someone to come in and do specialty trim and finish work. By the hour. It was enough work to last all summer. Would Bruce be interested?

the house Bruce worked on that summer. 

I chuckle every time I tell this story or even think about it. That's just how our God works! We step out in faith and He meets us, greets us, and when it comes to wants and needs, exceeds us!

So, that is how a few weeks later we loaded up my car and his work truck and headed over the mountains to our special camp. We spent the next 3 months living in a dorm style lodge, playing house parents to a building full of college kids.

Shultze Center, the dorm style housing where we lived.

It was a very different summer from the one before. That first summer I was learning my way around the kitchen and the quirks of the schedule. I was there with my daughter, rebuilding our relationship, missing my fiance and being stretched in various ways.

That second summer, feeling seasoned and comfortable, I was able to relax and find ways to play a little bit more. Bruce took a week and volunteered as counselor for Sr. High Camp, we enjoyed some weekend hikes and camp outs. We mingled with college kids and not only laughed at their antics but readily joined in. (OK--we might have even instigated some of it.)

date night for the love-burkes. We went to Leavenworth one night for the outdoor summer theater!

I've been back many times over the years, to help out in the kitchen when needed and even do a few stints as camp counselor but it's those summers of 1996 and 1997 that stand out in my memory the strongest. How God used those times to stretch our character, build our faith, heal our hearts, bind us together, and bless us in unimaginable ways.

the view of the camp from Eagles Nest Mountain.

Like Loaves and Fishes

Jesus took the five loaves and two fish, looked up toward heaven, and blessed them. Then, breaking the loaves into pieces, he kept giving the bread to the disciples so they could distribute it to the people. He also divided the fish for everyone to share. Mark 6.41

Despite the leanness of the last few months, where work has been scarce or spread too far apart, we have survived.

 Once again, our Faithful, Loving, Miracle Working God has carried us through. 

As I sat at the desk the other day balancing the checkbook and going over the bills, I sat back in grateful amazement as the truth of our situation sunk in. We had made it through another month. 

From September till about 3 weeks ago, there has not been a 40 hour work week for Bruce. I am not even sure there has been a 30 or a 20 hour work week! Instead, the work has come in spurts, a day here, two days there... which is often the case in the winter months but some winters seem leaner than others and harder to bear. 

Yet, somehow, in God's wonder-working ways, we have made it through. He has taken what little we had and multiplied it in a way only God can do. Like a basket with just some fish and loaves of bread, He has increased it to make it be enough. 

I am constantly amazed at the way God works and yet, in that crazy mixed up way that often contradicts my faith, I can so easily forget His faithfulness and let fear rule. I chide myself for being so flaky in times like these. I know God is for me, I know His plan for me is good, so why do I allow anxiety and worry to prevail?

 I'm human, that's why and maybe the only way I will remember God's provision is to experience the desperate need for it. 

Jehovah Jireh!

The Lord will provide.

Plain and simple that's what Jehovah Jireh means.

I've learned a lot about God as Provider over the years. His faithfulness knows no bounds.

Remember how He provided daily for the Israelites as they wandered in the wilderness? Each day He sent them quail and manna and told them to gather the manna-- just enough for that day. They didn't need to worry about tomorrow (though they often did)

I'm no different. I guess I am guilty of some short term memory loss because it's so easy for me to get worked up about my needs for tomorrow. I get to the end of my rope and start to freak a bit, forgetting how God always steps in and provides what I need, just as I need it.

I love this translation from Matthew 5.3 in the Message: "You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule."

Wow.

How about verse 5...  "You're blessed when you're content with just who you are-- no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought."

Things that cannot be bought...
Peace.
Love.
Joy.
Contentment.
Patience.
Friendship.
Immortality.

We won't find any of those on sale this Black Friday.

I'm working on not worrying about tomorrow. I'm working on a lot of stuff lately, but mostly... mostly I'm letting God work on me.

On Being Thankful

Be thankful.
A simple concept, yes?

Scripture tells me to be thankful over and over again...

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Jesus Christ. 
(1 Thessalonians 5.18)

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever! (Psalm 107.1)

Give thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 5.120)

BUT... let's be honest....Some days it's harder than others.

My husband is self employed, as you may already know. That means when he's not working, there isn't unemployment to tide us over to the next job. Because the past several years have been incredible lean, there is no cushion called savings to fall back on. And let's be even MORE honest. At our age it's really difficult to find a job working for some other company. (Despite his vast experience they want to hire younger people.) Anyway, I am sure you get the picture. No work means no income. And even though we've been there-done that- (too many times to count) and even though God has never abandoned us (and has surprised and blessed us in amazing ways) it is still quite wearing on our morale when the season of no work hits.

This morning I was reminded of this bible verse: All who are weary, come unto me and I (Jesus) will give you rest. I was also reminded to not worry about anything, but by prayer and petition presents my requests to God. In doing this I will experience peace. Peace that exceeds understanding.

That sounds awesome. I am more than willing to release my burdens to Jesus. I am totally ready to surrender my worries and take up His peace. And I do. But, I still can't pay my power bill or my mortgage.

I still have faith that God will provide. I never doubt that He has His best planned for us. I believe that there is always something going on behind the scenes --sometimes things I will never see or know about-- that will prove God was at work. I know all this yet... navigating these curves is exhausting. These tough lean times are depressing... and to some extent,demoralizing.

I don't need to be reminded to be thankful. I am thankful. Thankful that because my husband isn't working right now he has plenty of time to soak in the Word each morning. Time to focus on home projects. Time for giving his all to men's ministry at church.

I don't think you ever get used to the stresses that these kind of times bring. I can paste on my smile and practice an 'attitude of gratitude' or 'fake it till I make it'. I can refuse to worry and refuse to be fearful  and instead be faithful and faith-filled but it doesn't change the reality of our situation. There's this funny little practice here in America called paying our monthly bills and those entities get a little cranky when you don't follow through with payment. And even though I know that this work gap won't last forever, I also know that it will take us twice as long to catch up.

I often wonder what it is I am missing. As in, I should be learning something from this experience and obviously I haven't gotten it yet because here I am taking the class over again.

Maybe I'm making too big a deal out of this, since I am sure I am not the only person who is going through a similar situation.

I don't want this to be a negative, whiny self centered post. It does sound like it though. Like I said, I'm just really really weary.

Weary, but still, thankful.

Pressed Down and Running Over

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Luke 6:38

When I read this verse the image comes to my mind is that of a French press coffee maker.... and if you are a coffee connoisseur like me, you may agree that a french press happens to make some of the best coffee ever... I see the coffee being compacted tightly as the press comes down and  water seeps through the grounds and then at just the right time, out pours some of the richest, most delicious brew.... 


I'm still processing yesterdays surprise blessings. I am thinking of the song by the Gaithers' that goes "I can never, never out love the Lord." He gives and keeps on giving. 

I don't know why I have had to endure this period of turmoil. I am strong in my faith, rock solid in my belief that God always comes through, with gifts of love and provision that are more than I can imagine. His ways are not our ways and you would think I would rest in this, knowing what He decides for me is always better than what I might chose for myself. 

I think I have been in the press. Being squeezed tight till just the right time.... 

In one fell swoop, God effectively removed my objections. I told Bruce I just couldn't bring myself to sanction this mission trip unless he had a way to cover not only all the trip expenses but the lost wages for that time as well. We had no idea how that would happen... I mean, we are both working now and things have been so much more stable... but we're not overflowing in money for goodness sake! We are still pinching and budgeting and doing without on things. But here comes God, with his immeasurable love and provision... pressed down, shaken together and POURED OUT INTO OUR LAPS.

Here's what happened today... the power bill and the water bill arrived... and for some reason I can't quite figure other than we have been having to pay bills a little later than due each month, when I paid them last month, I over paid. Ever done that? You think you owe more than you really do because the new bill arrived without showing your last payment and even though you do the math you still get the wrong amount so you pay it... and the next cycle of bills come and...

it shows a ZERO balance owed.

ZERO.  I don't owe anything on my water or power bill, which aside from my house payment are usually my 2 biggest monthly expenses. 

Of course this was God orchestrating things. I am not this clever. 

So.... What can I say to a God like that? 

thank you. oh, how I thank you. Inadequate words but oh so very true.

And.... What else can I do but turn to my husband and say....  Um, honey? you know that blessing I just couldn't give you? well.... um.... this is hard but..... okay.... I'm giving it.... now, truth be told.... I'm still feeling kinda scared and unsure about this whole you being gone for so long so would you just hold me and assure me that it's really gonna be alright? 

(reader friends, you can pray for both of us... his safety for this trip, my peace of mind while he's away)

Blessings

I'm confounded and speechless....

My husband leaves in just a couple of weeks on his mission adventure to Honduras. As you may know this has been a real struggle for both of us; me feeling like the timing isn't right plus a whole lot of other reasons to grumble and hold back my blessing, he feeling compelled to go with or without my blessing and finding less than joy at the prospect of answering God's call in the face of this.

It's been a painful process of coming to terms with us being on such opposing sides to something. It's a new and uncomfortable place to be for us. We've never encountered this sort of situation in our relationship before. We've pondered what God is doing here, with this situation, with us, and have not come up with any clear answers. We've decided to move in faith as we always have, regardless.  I have been awash in emotions and thoughts. My stance wavers as I question why I feel so fearful over his going.

Originally my biggest objection was finances. Now, I have a strong belief in the quote by Hudson Taylor: God's work done God's way will never lack God's resources, and we've seen this played out each and every time we've made the commitment to go on a mission trip. But we still make a sacrifice for the weeks of wages lost when taking time from work to go.... we always pull though but this time I felt like it was reckless, foolish and irresponsible to go. We'd just come back from a 2 week stint in Costa Rica, and were enjoying some financial stability for the first time in a very very long while. I didn't want to rock that boat!

My other objection was that Bruce seemed to arrive at the decision to go without fully bringing me into the discussion. (never a good idea) We worked through that issue and resolved it but it still kinda smarts if I allow myself to go there.... Finally my biggest and hardest objection has to do with the fact that he will be gone for 3 weeks. THREE WEEKS. We've been apart for 2 weeks at the longest and that was hard. I am one of those wives who really enjoys her husbands company.... but it is more than that. When I think about his leaving... the fear that rises up in me nearly chokes me. I don't understand this feeling. It scares me to be so scared quite honestly. Like maybe I have something I need to let go of.

Well.... anyway.....emotions be damned, hubby is going.... his tickets have been purchased... and God has once again stepped in and blown us away with his provisions. There has been NO fundraising done for this trip. Bruce had the funds for the airfare and the food and lodging expenses set aside as part of his budgeting since he started the last building project. When I saw this come together I was only partially mollified as I had insisted there also needed to be a way for him to support us in the face of 3 weeks of unemployment.

God is so much bigger than my whiny demanding ways. We learned today that because of some amazing generous anonymous folks, the funds to go on the trip are completely covered... which means the money Bruce had set aside to pay for his trip will go towards the loss of wages during his time away.

Like I said... I. Am. Speechless.

I stared at hubby dumbfounded and confounded when he told me...  My objections wiped out in one clean sweep. I still have my emotions to deal with but I have to believe that the God who works all things together for good will work His way with me.

Praising God!

Happy to report with good news!! A job prospect for my husband -- one that has been in the work for MONTHS-- is coming to fruition!!

As you may know, my husband is in construction. He designs, builds, supervises and manages the building of homes. It's been his livelihood for almost his entire adult life. We've had good times in the boom years, lean times in the downturns and times he has wondered what else he could do that he would love as much as building. He is quick to credit God with gifting him with a love for construction-- a trade he actually stumbled into by accident-- and quickly realized he was both good at and loved. He's been self employed for  90% of his career




He recently finished up a very nice ADU (accessory dwelling unit- or the mother-in-law apartment as it is sometimes called) and it was a pleasant 4-5 months of work, with the end result, predictably, the cutest little house on a sweet little hill. and then, with the work done, the question was, What Next?

the "Hut" as the owners call it. It's their weekend get- away home.

I mentioned in prior posts that the last month was sprinkled with some short work orders.... a day or two here, a day or two there. We needed something more steady that that to sustain us. Our hope was pinned on a lengthy ongoing conversation with another couple who wanted a similarly designed small home... and after much thinking, planning, discussing and waiting, the couple has decided to go forward with the project! Work will start immediately with the designing of the home and ground breaking is hopefully set to begin the first part of December. Yay!!

So thankful for friends and family who pray for us, offer words of encouragement, provide blessings in unexpected ways and most of all thankful to our Ever Faithful Lord and King, Jesus Christ.... His mercies endure forever and His Faithfulness reaches to the heavens!