Life is a Treasure

The sun is shining, there's not a cloud in the sky. The wind that charmed my wind chimes yesterday has died down and the temperature has come up. I've gotten in my walk, swiped some blossoms off a neighbor's tree and put them in a vase on my table. I've got laundry going and have sucked down my 3rd cup of coffee for the morning. I've cleaned out my junk mailbox, caught up on facebook and checked out craigslist.

It's just a day in the life of.

I've got no complaints, I feel content  and I am grateful for all my blessings. I am fully aware of how precious each moment of our lives is, perhaps today more than ever.

You see, today there are 2 memorials taking place. I'm not planning to attend, as I didn't really know either of them. But I do know the people who are grieving their passing so today, in my own way, I will take some time to honor their memory and hold my friends up in prayer.

One of the memorials is for the mother-in-law of a friend of mine. I met her once or twice many years ago. She lived a long vibrant life but the past couple years has been rough on the family as they watched her take that agonizing decline into dementia. And I would surmise that as much as saying good bye hurts, they are also rejoicing over her graduation to heaven.
I'm not there today my sweet friend but know I'm thinking of you and sending you hugs and prayers.

The other memorial is going to be much, much harder I am sure. This friend is saying good bye to her husband who passed away unexpectedly after brain surgery. I did not know her husband at all, except by name. And truthfully my friendship with D. is one of those kept alive only by the powers of facebook. She was a year behind me in school and we didn't hang out together but there was a short period in my life where we shared office space as we worked at our respective jobs. Being women, being wives, we shared more than office space, as over a period of months we revealed our hearts through our conversations. I know her as a sincere and gentle-hearted person  and my heart aches for her and what she is going through.
I'm not there today lovely lady, but you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Thinking about those kinds of losses makes me somber and thoughtful. I lost my dad about 8 years ago and I know the day is coming when Mom will go home too.

I don't even want to think about what life would be like if my husband was gone.

We just celebrated the 19th engage-aversary of when he proposed and every minute we have together is precious and treasured.(Yes, even when you snore and I have to elbow you honey- it's precious)


So, yes the sun is shining and there is not a cloud in the sky. I'm taking some time today to lift up those who have lost a loved one by embracing the moment and being grateful for those special people in my life.

BECAUSE LIFE IS INDEED, SWEET.

Insulated or Isolated?

I heard about this at a recent women's retreat. The difference of insulating yourself with good people and good things rather than isolating yourself from others and the world around you. Being one who cherishes her time alone and rather enjoys her own company, perhaps a little too much, this concept struck a nerve.

Only a couple of weeks before I had been thinking about and praying for a girlfriend who was going through a divorce. She'd moved to a new neighborhood, quit attending church and because of the divorce, no longer connected with the small group she and her husband had been attending. In short, she was pretty isolated as far as a real sense of family and community goes. As I prayed for her, I sensed the Holy Spirit nudging me with the question: What about yourself?

I had to stop for a moment and examine this. What about me? Was I, in my careful agenda of honoring my introverted nature, doing so to the exclusion of connecting with other women in ways that would benefit me spiritually? Sure, I co-lead a small group with my husband. Yes, I talk to my sister all the time. And, I am in contact with my gal-pals via Facebook on a regular basis. But was it enough? Was it deep enough, real enough, sincere enough? Was it challenging me, comforting me, feeding me?

I had to admit that because I am often seen in a leadership type role, I might be more inclined to hold back a piece of myself. I may encourage us all to be real, transparent and open and to model it but I know there are some people with whom you don't share it all. That's just common sense. But what I came away with in this little soul searching exercise was that I did need to be intentional about spending time with a few other spiritually mature women in order to keep growing and keep going.

This week, as I have previously mentioned, my husband and I are visiting his brother. C's wife passed away in April after a battle with cancer. This was the first time for us to have an intentional visit and it's been wonderful to have some quality time and of significant quantity. C's life is certainly in a transitional time. He works out of town for a few weeks at a time, then he is off for a few. Being home is when he notices her absence the most and it's been a big adjustment. He's contemplating selling the place and moving but he isn't rushing into any decisions. He is being intentional himself about taking time to grieve, time to think, and making time to keep in contact with family and friends.

His place, as I might also have mentioned, is situated a good several miles from town and his home along with only a smattering of others is perched on the edge of a decommissioned airport. The neighbors all respect each other's privacy but they also watch out for one another. They notice when things are not quite right. This past week one of the neighbors called C to ask about a new guy to their neighborhood. This new resident had only recently bought the property and was in the process of moving in so it wasn't too unusual that no one had seen him for awhile. But then enough time has passed that folks began to question where he was? Have you seen him? It's been a while, do you suppose everything is OK? It was eventually whittled down to the fact it had been several weeks since anyone in the neighborhood had seen him.

Yesterday afternoon a sheriff's car was noted in the yard of the unseen neighbor. And then the sad reality came out. He was found inside his home, deceased. While details are still pending what is known is that eventually a cousin wondered why they hadn't heard from him and eventually contacted the police to ask for a well check when they couldn't reach him on his phone. While the cause of death has yet to been announced, it was generally surmised that he'd been ill.

While the death of someone I don't even know is still sad, what is sadder still is that this man lived what looks to be a life of quiet isolation. C. says he only saw the guy a couple of times and while he was friendly enough it seemed the man was content in his solitude. The fact that his death went undetected and unnoticed for some time (we learned that the coroner estimated he'd been dead a week or more)  also speaks to his life of isolation. And while perhaps this is the life he purposely chose for himself, it is still so very sad.

It makes me ask why? Did he choose to be a hermit? Was he depressed? Did he not have close family, other than this cousin who eventually wondered what was going on? Did he have a job? Was he retired? No kids? No close friends who would say 'Hey where's Henry?"  What makes a person choose to live a life of solitude?

And, while I am again, content in my own company, it makes me still hope that my life has people in in who would definitely notice if they didn't hear from me for awhile! (and I know that I do) But how sad for those who have no one close, no one who would notice or wonder or worry. They say no man is an island. We all need someone, we all need each other. God designed us to be in community!

As a strong believer in the community of a loving small group, I really grieve for this man though I do not know his name or anything really about him. It makes me want to make sure that everyone has at least ONE person in their life who will notice if something isn't right. And it challenges me to BE that person to the one who has no one else.

I Need to Laugh

It's been a fairly heavy week. And I have certainly done my share of crying.

taken on a weekend get away to Orcas Island. Jan was there to greet us when we arrived.
Always a gracious host.

On Friday morning we received the sad news that our sister-in-love had gone 'home' to Jesus after a long hard battle with cancer. Jan was one of the kindest, gentlest, giving women I have ever had the privilege to know and our family will have a huge hole with her gone. She was married to Bruce's brother and while we didn't see each other very often (a few times a year) there was always a welcoming presence about her. Even after the chemo destroyed her body and getting around was a painful experience, she still had a sweet spirit of wanting to serve and help others. Jan, you were a beautiful example of loving kindness and you will be so greatly missed!

I found this heart shaped rock on the beach during that weekend on Orcas.
I think that finding hearts in nature is like finding a love letter from God. 

Learning of her passing on what we call 'Good Friday' and knowing that because of the sacrifice our Savior made on this day so many many years ago, we can rest in the assurance that we will see Jan again. Yet that does not remove the pain of losing her. At Good Friday service that night, I was helping in leading worship and each song made me fight to hold it together. But our last song, "In Christ Alone", one of the most beautiful anthems of our faith, I could not hold the tears back any longer. As we sang the mighty words 'no guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me..."  I just let the tears fall. (mind you this song has the power to bring me to tears anyway) And it was OK. They were tears of both sorrow and joy.

The weekend was busy; Saturday was back to back activities. I had my Christian Women's Writers Group in the morning, followed by our church's Easter Program for the kids. From there it was a surprise birthday party for a friend. It was a fun party and at one point, I looked over at Bruce and said "We are so rich." For indeed, the room was full of some stellar people and the friendships we have developed has blessed us so much!

on loan from a friend and I can't wait to delve in!

From the party, a group of us headed to the movies! We watched "Heaven is For Real". I had read the book a couple of years ago and am thinking a re-read is in order. I enjoyed the movie very much. It was well done and very encouraging. I know both Bruce and I were thinking of Jan.

Sunday was of course, Easter! Resurrection Sunday. We had a wonderful service, which included the powerful exercise of something known as Cardboard Testimonies. I wish we'd taped them but this link will give you a good example of what it's about. Basically, it's a sign with one side stating who you were before Christ, and the other side is who you are in Christ now. For example, one of the signs that my friend carried said "depression and addiction" on one side and when flipped over proclaimed "overflowing with joy and purpose." As each of our folks walked across the front of the church with their sign, one of the band members sang an original song he'd written called "The Great Romance". Pretty sure there were more than just a few wet eyes by the time it was all done.

because of Calvary...

After church Bruce and I both kind of hit the wall and decided that despite some great invitations to join others, it was best for us to just go home and rest. We took a beautiful walk along the river during the late afternoon and explored a trail we'd not ever taken before and were treated to some extraordinary beauty.

gonna lay down my burdens, down by the river side....

Happy Easter from the Love-Burkes.

We had hoped to work in a visit to see the grandsons but we had learned earlier that morning that the little one was sick. And as the day progressed, so did his illness. Finally we got the news that mommy and daddy had taken him to the hospital where he's been admitted and tests are being run, even now as I write this. He is only 3 weeks old and while the temp. isn't terribly high, it was high enough to warrant a stay in the hospital till they figure out whats going on.

another love letter from God as we walked the river. 

As we were digesting the news of our grandson, we then learned that one of our dearest friends was also in the hospital and in need of a pacemaker! Her surgery is taking place this morning. This afternoon I will be making hospital visits to both my loved ones and my heart is heavy with all the sad news of the past few days.

A feeling of lethargy has settled in. I got in my power walk this morning and began to tackle household chores but I certainly wasn't feeling it. I dreaded facing my kitchen which looked ransacked after our whirlwind weekend.

The need for a good laugh is desperately called for. So I'm looking for funny. And when I can't find it, I create my own.

In a desperate attempt to get motivated I've donned my June Cleaver pearls and apron!

I guess this might be what we sometimes refer to as "A Bad Case of the Mondays."

How glad I am to know that I can come before the Throne of Grace and lay down my burdens, pour out my heart and receive His Peace.

All because of Calvary.

the power of the cross is only surpassed by Christ's conquering death by rising again!

Whirlwinds and Roller Coasters

It seems I have been too busy to blog! It's a beautiful summer and much to nice to stay inside most days. But  a quick update is needed and then I will blog deeper at some point.

Highlights from the past week include:
THE ARRIVAL
My sister and her hubs arrived over a week ago and it's been awesome to see them settling in to their cute little apartment and reacquaint themselves with the area. Sister and I are having lots of fun times together including Mom day, day trips and just hanging out. Love, love, love this!

reacting to the 'pantry blessing' we gave as a welcome home gift: a well stocked pantry!

fun with mother dear.

THE JOB
My last day was Saturday and I can say in all honesty, this was one of the few jobs I have walked away from where my heart was sad over it. I truly liked this job and wish my body was 20 years younger and could handle the load. It was an emotional weekend , made more so by...

SAYING GOODBYE
Made the trip to see my (former) mother-in-law and say goodbye. We were there on Saturday afternoon and I believe that she knew I was there....even though she was unresponsive and no longer able to speak (she suffered some strokes in the past week as the cancer continued its war on her body) I sat and held her hand and spoke my heart and then kissed her good bye. She was so very, very close to heaven and it came as no surprise to learn that Sunday evening she flew home to the arms of Jesus.

"Mom" Marta Fuller. Beautiful inside and out. You will be greatly deeply missed....

I am still processing all of the emotions that come from the good and the bad. I am thankful for the support of my sweet man who drove me down to see "mom" and then took me for a long drive up into the mountains to just chill and soak in some awe inspiring views. I will be back soon with more to share....

traveling into God's country.... balm for the soul.

One Day, One Week, One Year

Funny how much can happen in just a day or a week. Things can change, turn around, surprise you. You wake up one morning with a plan, a schedule, a detailed list. Then, in the blink of an eye, life happens and your world is turned upside down! Sometimes its good, sometimes its bad. And sometimes, a year from now, now of it will matter, or everything will.

Focus on the good. Hang on to the positives.

**********

This morning at work I told my boss, "I wish you were a total jerk instead of being so nice. It would make quitting here not quite so hard!"  I have one more week of work left and when I woke up this morning , creaking, aching, sore, I thought "Hallelujah! Tomorrow is my day off, then I work Sat. have Sunday off, and then it's just one more week...." But once I got to work and my co-workers showed up and we commenced with our day, in spite of the pain I was feeling in every joint (must be the change in the weather) I was laughing and joking and enjoying the camaraderie and thinking "this makes me so sad to leave."

**********

My sister and her hubby are enroute to HERE! They will arrive sometime Friday afternoon or evening. I will probably not see her till Saturday after work, when my hubby and I go up to help them unpack the moving van. I know they have a lot to process with the move and getting settled so I will be patient, allowing them time to adjust and rest and gear up. but I am chomping at the bit a little, to spend time with her, with them.

**********

I got email from one of my former sister-in-laws with some very very sad news. My former mother-in-law, whom I love still very much, is dying. This woman was like a mom to me, never a mother-in-law and it grieved me terribly to lose her when the marriage ended. We were still on good terms... sort of... but you don't really get the same kind of relationship with someone when 'blood is thicker than water' and you have made strong accusations against their son. Still, I know she still loves me and I believe she grieved the loss too. Now, she is in the last stages of cancer and hospice will be setting up to help care for her. Not sure how much time she has left but I think it's very very short. I was planning to visit her next month, when our grandson comes out to visit... now I am thinking I best not wait even that long.

**********

One day, one week, one year. One lifetime. 

Only one life, it soon will past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Vivaldi, Sunshine and Apple Pie

I feel ever so slighty naughty. I didn't go to church this morning!! We went last night instead. Our church decided to launch a Saturday night service calling it "Soup and a Service". We serve a simple meal of hot nourshing soup and bread, seated at tables of 6 or 8. After sharing a meal together we stand around our tables and sing a few worship songs, then sit again and listen to the message from our pastor. We started this just a few weeks ago but this was the first time hubby and I have been able to attend. We enjoyed the simplicity and casual atmosphere and pray this will be a welcoming place to those who might not come on a Sunday.

It was a beautiful weekend starting with our spectacular  Friday Hike! We got out of the starting gate a little late but the mountain waited patiently for our arrival. In fact, we had cloud cover mixed with sunshine-- the perfect combination for a hike. Not too hot, not so buggy I'd go nuts. And then the clouds stayed at bay while we did some fabulous photos in front of the view. In fact, as I looked over the pix in the view finder of my camera, and pronouced them good, we looked back at Mt Baker and realized it was completely under cover of the clouds now! Well! I am so glad we were able to get those awesome shots!!

We enjoyed a delicious dinner on Friday night at a new-to-us dining estabishment called Bayou on Bay. Clever little title given the location is on Bay Street but it's also closely situated to the bay of Bellingham. Bruce was brave and ordered the catfish. I went for the salmon but after one bite of his pecan encrusted catfish, I was wanting more!! We divvied up our entres and shared them like a good married couple. ;)
We also has lip smacking scrumpdelicious fried green tomatoes for appetizers. Yummmers!!  We completed our evening with a stroll under the moonlight, and coffee at our favorite coffee house. We'd talked about taking in a movie or a show at the local comedy club but the next showing was at 10 and by 9pm we were done. laughing as we drove home about feeling old I comforted hubby by pointing out we weren't OLD, we were WISE!!

Saturday was a bit of a rough day but we still made the most of it. We attended the memorial service for the young man who passed away earlier in the week. So unexpected! He was only 28 and leaves his bride and 2 young children. So sad. Only the knowledge that he IS with Jesus and his wife is finding her strength and comfort in that and the presence of the Holy Spirit, made the service bearable. We had a few moments to converse with her after the reception, actually the first real conversation we'd ever had with her. But we assured her we were here for her and her children and to please not hesitate to let us know what we can do to help in weeks to come.

After we left the service we drove into the older historcial part of our little city and enjoyed walking in the sunshine, leaves crunching under our feet, wind touseling our hair. We stopped for gelato and sat on a park bench in the sunshine and ate our sweet treat and people watched. We smiled deeply at each other, recalling past dates, one in particular at a coffee house across the way. First time my man had ever had an espresso concoction!

Speaking of coffee, we had to get some to enjoy on the drive home, then we went to the church soup and service.

this morning I slept in.... oh my how I slept! I enjoyed my coffee on the couch and now with the patio door wide open and the fresh crisp air wafting in, I am listening to Vivaldi, while a salted- caramel- apple pie with crumbly topping bakes in the oven and soon to replace that, a whole chicken to roast.

It's another glorious fall day here in my corner of the world and I am happy to sing praises to my Creator for blessing me with another day. May His Blessings be on you today and in this new week as well.
Shalom.

In A Heartbeat

This morning started off amazingly. Coffee with my Bible open, eager to hear what Jesus would say to me this day. Phone call with a dear friend and plans made for getting together tomorrow. A brisk walk down a blazing in colors country road that included FINALLY reaching my goal for distance! YAY! got back home, stretched, ate a hearty bowl of oatmeal, whisked around the kitchen and got laundry going. Showered and dressed. All before 10 am.

then... a phone call came.

It was not good news.

I don't really know this young couple but they attend our church. I have smiled at them from across the room perhaps, maybe murmured a good morning on occasion. Always thinking one of these Sundays I should get to know them. I don't even know their last name, or their ages, but thinking 'young' OK, old enough to have 2 little ones but still, young. I'd be surprised if they were over 30.

The news was that the husband died this morning. Circumstances are unknown as to the why and the how. I am stunned but I can't even imagine what his wife and children and other family are experiencing.

Yesterday perhaps they enjoyed a sun-filled day such as my sweetie and I did. Walking, laughing, talking. Perhaps he swung his kids up in the air and breathed in the sweetness of their giggles. Never knowing this was his last full day on this earth.

I pray, oh, how I pray he was ready to meet Jesus.

Another friend posted on facebook this morning a picture of their car that  met with a deer on his way to work today. The deer didn't make it, the car is a mess but HE walked away unhurt. Still, these kinds of things will shake you to your core.

Are you ready? If your time comes up today, are you ready to go? Do you know Jesus? that he died for your sins, that you need him to wash those sins away. That you need only accept this as truth, believe it in your heart, confess your need of a Savior. I may be clumsy in my approach but I just don't know another way to ask. Are you ready? Oh, I pray you are.

if you are not sure, please contact me or someone you know who will pray with you. don't let this moment pass you by. because we have no guarantee about the next heart beat.

Invitation to the Party

My heart is sorrow filled even as I cling to the peace that passes understanding. Dear friends of ours are facing the toughest, darkest moment as a battle with cancer nears the end.....

Michael had a bone marrow transplant several months ago and was doing well.... but last week found him back in ICU down in Seattle with a serious lung infection and Graft VS Host Disease present....  the doctors have been doing everything they can to bring it under control.... there have been several serious heart episodes on top of it all.... and now it seems Jesus has issued the invitation for Michael to come home. 

this excerpt, from  Michael's Caring Bridge Journal, written by his beautiful wife Catherine, gives a taste of the commitment and faith that is sustaining them during this very painful and difficult time.

This morning as I was wrestling with my God, feeling at times the frantic desperation that sucks the very breath out of me, and surrendering to the sweet peace that passes understanding, I received a gift from the Lord. He told me that 'Preparations were being made for my beloved husbands Home Coming Party. There was a lot to do, and all the invitations were sent out throughout the heavens and the saints were gathering.One of the first people in line to greet him after Jesus was going to be Job. As they see each other for the first time, there is instant recognition and they embrace as two valiant men that God has found blameless and upright. All heaven cheers....'

please hold this precious family in your prayers as the end is so very near. 

Jack

Uncle Jack went home this morning.

He was married to my aunt for only a few years. In fact, we share a wedding anniversary date. They had known each other a long time-- friends while each married to their first spouse. It seems very strange that just last summer, he was seeing the doctors and going through round after round of testing to determine the cause of pain in his jaw. When they found the cancerous tumors in his sinus cavity, the treatments began but it wasn't enough.

He was a godly man and the exchanges I had with him over the years were pleasant, uplifting and affirming. He is home now with Jesus, free from pain, reunited with family and friends who'd gone on before.

My aunt, whom my sister and I fondly refer to as 'our marrying aunt' is no stranger to death. She has buried 2 husbands before this, and a son. Being no stranger does not make this any easier. I grieve for her as well.

Saying Good Bye

In the last week and a half I have learned of the death of 2 people from my past and I am mourning their passing as much as the friendship that slipped away from us over the last couple of decades.

The first was the unexpected passing of a woman who was my friend a very very long time ago... back when both of us were married to different men... it was one of those friendships forged out of the fact that we had children the same age and our husbands were friends and the relationship we had was built around that. But she was an impressive woman. Strong, forthright, smart. And very kind. I found it easy and comforting to sit in her wide country kitchen, sipping strong coffee and listening to her talk; her southern accent discernible even after years of being removed from the south. She was creative and not afraid to try new things. Not afraid to do things that often were categorized as being in a man's domain. She was pretty and witty and when stirred up, a force to be reckoned with. I wished often for a small portion of her strength and strong will. Perhaps, I would think, if I could emulate her even a small bit, I could stand up against the injustice and cruelty that was being dished out at me each day in my marriage.

It is possible that maybe, a small piece of her was with me when I did finally escape the marriage.

The friendship disintegrated once I left my husband however. Because within less than a month from my decision to leave, she had moved lock stock and barrel in with him, leaving heads spinning, not the least of which was her own husband. It was an episode right out of "And the Stomach Turns"

My only knowledge of her where-abouts after that came through my children. She and my ex were married just days after our divorce became final but that marriage did not last. And once she was out of the lives of my kids, all contact was lost. So. for probably at least the last decade, I've had no idea of where she was and how she was. And truth be told, I didn't much care. I felt betrayed by her.

So this past week when I learned of her death, it was the first I had heard her name mentioned in years. And the circumstances of her death were tragic and suspect. She was living in Florida, having returned to her roots at some point, and while I have scoured the online newspapers daily, I find nothing about her... no obit, death notice, police report... it is as if the woman did not exist.

I find this as tragic as her death. Perhaps the family is still reeling in shock from her passing. Maybe she was estranged from her family. I don't know if she had a close relationship with her children or her siblings or parents. If there was anyone special in her life. And so, I find myself thinking about her a lot. Remembering her from those years we shared a friendship. I have long ago forgiven her for any betrayal I felt back then for her choices. I ache for her children, young adults now. I mourn for the woman who was my friend all those years ago. I imagine what she went through-- 2 divorces, separation from her children and family, and the sort of things that led her to the place she was at when she died.

"Rest in peace" sounds very cliche but I do hope in the end, she did have peace.