And Then I Climbed a Tree

Not just any tree! But a really really tall skinny tree! I scaled this tree about 40 feet up to a tiny little platform that was barely big enough for one person, let alone two! I then allowed myself to be hooked up to a device that would send me sailing through the air,suspended above the ground,  for a 1000+ feet ride, where I was 'caught' by a couple of trained individuals. 

Yep. I did the Zipline.

Memorial Weekend 2017. One week after my retreat and my experience with the duck, you know where God basically told me to quit working so hard to tread water in order to stay safe, and let go a little bit, trust Him more and let me see where the Holy Spirit would take me. We were at one of our favorite places on earth, our beloved Tall Timber Ranch for the Work n' Worship Weekend.  Climbing the rock wall had been offered one evening, the next night, the zipline.

Let me state for the record a few things.
1. I am afraid of heights. I'll say that again, I AM AFRAID OF HEIGHTS. As in I DON'T DO THEM.  Ladders, rooftops, and the like, are not my friends. No, huh-uh, never. 
2. I have been visiting Tall Timber for over 20 years. I have had plenty of opportunities to experience the Zipline. Never. Have. I. Ever. No desire, no need. 
3. Did I mention I don't do heights?

But, something came over me that evening at dinner when table mates were talking about doing the zip-line later. Without any warning I said, 'Maybe I'll do that too..." 

And Suddenly.... it became imperative that I do it! I have no way to explain it, other than a Holy Phenomenon.  It was like it was this bucket list item that I HAD to check off my list! 

Bruce scoffed when I announced I was going to do the zip-line. He said he'd believe it when he saw it. I said he better hurry up then because if I was going to do it, I'd do it before I came to my senses!

My little friend Lizzy was certainly brave!

On a dry dusty hill, below the incredibly tall skinny tree, a crowd had gathered. Some were putting on harnesses and helmets. Others were there to gawk or cheer or both. I got into my harness with the aid of my step-son. Joey has worked on staff and Tall Timber, and has a degree in Recreation. He wasn't assisting in the actual zip-line activity but he was certainly a calming and encouraging factor as he tightened and adjusted my gear. I observed several others go ahead of me and watched carefully. Curiously I realized I wasn't really fearful of the actual zip-line ride itself. I thought that would probably be quite a rush and very fun! It was getting to the platform to take off from that was the challenge. 

You see, not only was the platform from which to launch, 40 some feet above ground, but the process for climbing the tree was precarious! Into the bark of the tree trunk were hammered small hooks for which to place hands and feet. You're not just climbing, you are sort of pulling yourself from hook to hook. Now, not only did I have to conquer my fear of heights. but I had to use arm and leg strength I wasn't sure I had. (especially my arms-- those darn shoulders). I had to trust completely in the harness and gear and the guy at the other end of my rope, belaying me. 

It was a stretch, literally, that climb. Those hooks would be easy for someone really tall but for 5'3 me, I was almost not able to reach hooks above me. But I climbed. I climbed FAST. I think I just wanted to get that part over with!

 By the time I reached the top and was preparing to step off the hooks onto the platform where Nic was waiting to instruct me, I knew what it meant to be 'scared spit-less" I mean it. I had NO SPIT! My mouth was drier than cotton and I wished desperately for a glass of water (or whiskey!!!) 


When I was situated on the platform Nic instructed me to squat a little and feel the support of the harness. Once I did that and realized how firmly suspended I was I actually relaxed a little! Nic said "Whenever you're ready, just lift your feet and you'll go!"

I nodded and lifted my feet. and........




WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!! 

I DID IT! I DID THE ZIPLINE!!

to RECAP: I climbed a tree 40 feet up. I zipped 1000 feet across the clearing to the landing. I had to deal with fear of heights, and use body strength I wasn't sure I had. I had to trust completely in the harness and gear. How like our walk with Christ! We have to trust Him to hold us and support us in those testing and defining moments.

Jesus is my carbeaner

My Cup Runneth Over

So much goodness the last few days...

Yesterday my sister and I were interviewed for a radio podcast, "The Karolyn Merriman Show". The daily show features licensed therapist, Karolyn Merriman and each broadcast covers a variety of different topics. From childhood abuse, to difficult relationships, from freedom from fear and anxiety to enriching your prayer life and many other life struggles and challenges, Karolyn offers biblical insights into dealing with and moving from hurt to healing through the power of God's grace.

in the recording studio with Karolyn, after a successful interview!

How did we come to land on Karolyn's show? Karolyn was my therapist many years ago and we've stayed in touch off and on. We recently reconnected on Facebook where she learned I was involved with a writing group. She was intrigued. As we chatted about what our writing group does she became more and more interested in the whole concept of a writing group designed for Christian women writers. She asked if we'd come on the show and talk about how we started the group, why, what we do in our group, how it benefits us etc. I was kind of taken back by her request originally as I couldn't fathom how our group fit in with the themes of her talk show. She assured me that because she often encourages her clients to engage in writing as therapeutic, sharing about our group would be appealing to many of her listeners. She also felt that what we've  done in establishing this group was worthy of mention as it may inspire other women (or men) in churches or communities to start their own writing groups. So.... Anita and I bravely committed to the podcast. It was so much fun!!

 ( You can listen to the podcast here)

Later that day I met up with a sweet gal who is going to host a jewelry party for me this month. I first met L. as a member of my Curves fitness center and we've stayed in touch on Facebook ever since. She is very excited to host a get together for me, not just because she loves the jewelry but she also shared she was happy to have a way for us to connect in a more tangible way than just online!

 I've had my emotional ups and downs when I look back on my time as a fitness center owner. I enjoyed the initial start up and being my own boss. I loved, loved, loved seeing Curves empower and strengthen women in all aspects of their lives. I loved feeling healthy and loved meeting so many wonderful gals and starting friendships that have continued long after the club closed. But the stress of running a business and keeping it financially strong was too much for me. The last couple of years running the club, I was depressed, angry, frustrated, stressed and exhausted most of the time. Not a very good presentation for promoting health! I've often wondered if my presence in the club was a positive one. If I made a difference in even just one persons life. I've questioned that over and over.

Until yesterday.

As we chatted L. expressed just how much she enjoyed her time at Curves and emphatically stated that it was my presence there that made the difference to her. She saw something in me that clicked with her. In addition to being friends on facebook since the club closed, she's been a faithful follower here on the blog (Hi L! Surprise!!) and shared that my posts often speak to her just what she needed to hear on that particular day. Wow.

Every writer desperately wants to be 'heard' and my deepest desire as a writer is not to attain fame and fortune (although I wouldn't turn it down, ha ha) but to know that my writing, Holy Spirit inspired, reached even  just one person and impacted them in some positive way. Yesterdays visit with L was a confirmation that yes, it has. And for that I am so very very blessed. Thank you sweet friend.

And to put the cherry on top of the day I came home with a burning desire to BLOG! And to WRITE! I whipped open my laptop and began pounding the keys. Even if it was drivel I have managed to shake loose the chains that were binding my hands and mind from creatively flowing. Hallllllllelujaaaaaaah!

Just Another Drop in the Bucket.... List

#24 Do an overnight backpacking trip

O Lord, My God, when I in awesome wonder, consider all the world Thy hands have made

I'm married to a former boy scout leader. When I first met Bruce he was the scout master for a troop of boys who were crazy about outdoor adventures. They did some sort of outdoor/camping/hiking venture each month. After we were married and Bruce retired from scouting, he and I began building our camping experiences together: car camping. You know, drive to the campsite, unload your gear, pitch your tent and cook over the camp stove. Take a day hike or laze around by the river. Eventually we upgraded to the little trailer we now have and camping took on a new level of adventure as we hit the road. All good. All fun.

Just about every year, Bruce takes off with a buddy or two and they backpack into some place you can only get to on foot and spend a few days exploring and experiencing nature in a way not possible by car. And I always send him off with a kiss and a wave and enjoy a couple of days of my own version of 'living on the edge" (i.e. sleeping in, not cooking, pampering myself, being lazy) I have no problem with his Wild at Heart escapes; indeed I heartily approve!

privacy in the privy?
 not much!

Still... we have often talked about doing an overnight backpacking trip of our own. And talk was all we did because there were a few issues that always cropped up in our discussions that made me waver on committing to the action.

Things like...

carrying a back pack with my bad neck, shoulders, and back...

walking a long distance...
climbing up & down with my bad feet & knees...

sleeping on the hard ground with my princess & the pea condition and let's not forget the biggie...
where does one p--p in the wilderness???
 (come on, you gotta think about stuff like that! and be prepared.) 

It occurred to me recently that if I did not do this thing I so really wanted to do NOW, I would likely NEVER do it because all those physical challenges were only going to get bigger, not smaller. So, with tenacity and positive thinking I said "This is the year!"

After some discussion of options we finally settled on the Chain Lakes Trail at Mt. Baker. We reasoned the trail wasn't so arduous that I would be defeated, the distance to the first lake was more than achievable, and the adventure I was longing for would be easily obtained by this outing. 

We chose 4th of July weekend for our trip and hoped for good weather. Well, good weather has been more than on our side here of late. In fact, we've had record breaking temperatures for most of June and into July. As the day of our trip neared and the temperatures continued to soar we began to second guess our choice. Should we postpone in favor of cooler weather? Well, since summer is only a few weeks long and there are plenty of other commitments already plugged into our calendars, we decided to stick to the original plan and make the best of it. 

So, Saturday afternoon we packed all our gear-- the majority of it going into Bruce's backpack, leaving me with a fairly light load. (Still, 20# on your back that you are not used to carrying, is something to adjust to) We set out for the mountain around 4 pm, relying on the cool of the evening to carry us into the woods. Even so it was in the 80's as we set forth on the Chain Lakes Trail. But we had a nice breeze rising over the mountains and not only did that serve to keep us feeling refreshed but it deterred the bugs and flies as well.

when through the woods and forest glades I wander and hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees...

It's about a 2 mile trek from Artist Point, our starting point, to the first lake, Mazama, where we'd decided we'd camp. (You can do the whole Chain, which is about 7 miles, passing 5 lakes in all, and then there's an additional trek back up the highway if your car is in the parking lot at Artist Point. For our adventure we chose to just hike in to Mazama, spend the night and hike back out the way we came.) With only a couple of stops for pictures and water consumption, we made it to Lake Mazama in about 90 minutes. Not too bad considering. 

when I look down from lofty mountain grandeur and hear the brook and feel the gently breeze...

The trail is fairly easy going. Well marked, smooth in most places, only a few areas of rocky terrain. Uphill for the first leg, then a gradual descent as you near Mazama. I was surprised at how well I did, considering my tennis shoes were not the best for hiking. The backpack was a good fit (thank you to our friend T-man. who lent us some great gear) so I was pleased with how well that went also. Bruce couldn't see it since he was trailing behind me but I had a mile-wide grin on my face most of the time, just feeling so much pleasure at actually doing what I'd long talked about doing. Such is the reward for knocking off a bucket list item! 

then sings my soul, my Savior God to thee, How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

We met several hikers as we traversed and wondered if we'd find a campsite once we reached the lake. If we didn't find a spot we'd have to either push on another mile or more to the next lake with campsites, or improvise. Mazama has 4 designated campsites and we quickly discovered they were all occupied. We were bummed but not defeated. We circled the lake and decided to appropriate a nice lush level area on the opposite side of the lake, which just happened to be adjacent to a pleasant little waterfall and gurgling creek that fed into Mazama. 

Can you say perfect?

Shout to the Lord, all the earth, let us sing, power and majesty praise to the King...

After our supper we hung the bear bag and explored a little. Then, with night falling and bugs rising, we dived into the tent for protection and rest. I wondered if we'd be able to spot the "Star of Bethlehem" that we'd been enjoying from our back deck at home but it was just a little lower than the tree line for us to see. However, around 1 am we were awakened by the brightness of the moon over the lake. We climbed out of our tent to watch in awe as it glistened on the rippling lake and then, breathlessly, we gazed at a million stars that were dotting the night sky.

Mountains bow down and the seas will roar at the sound of your name...

Sleeping in Sunday morning wasn't really an option as 1) the princess was definitely feeling the pea and 2) the temperature was quickly rising making the tent uncomfortable. We retrieved the bear bag and rooted around for our breakfast. We climbed up above the waterfall and found a luscious grassy paradise in which to consume our granola. 

I sing for joy at the work of your hands, forever I'll love you, for ever I'll stand

Nothing compares to the promise I have in you.

We did a little hike later to the second lake, Iceberg, so named because in a usual year of snow, there are really icebergs sticking up out of the lake. This year has been usually dry and with an early summer, the lake, while icily cold, had no icebergs. 

Lord of all creation, of water, earth and sky, the heavens are your tabernacle, glory to the Lord on high

And speaking of icy cold, what about Lake Mazama? It was surprisingly tolerable in temperature, made more so by the fact that by noon it was quite hot out. With our campsite broken down and packed up, we decided a dip in the lake before departure was required. 

God of Wonders, beyond our galaxy ~ you are holy!

from the highest of heights to the depths of the sea...

The hike back out was much more challenging than coming in. I admit, I loaded up on Ibuprofen before we left the parking lot on Saturday and took some more when we reached camp. I took some more before we began the return trek. But, add in a night of somewhat restless sleep, a sun that was beating down hotter than ever, and that slow descent to the lake that seemed now ridiculously steep as we climbed back out, and you'll have a picture of the challenges I was facing.

But I refused to be defeated! I am Tenacious Woman! This is my Super Power!! 

Creation's revealing Your majesty

Not to mention that every time I stopped I was attacked by biting flies!! I had no choice but to just press on! 

from the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring, every creature unique in the song that it sings...

We stopped for a nice break once we reached the intersection on the trail for Chain Lakes and Ptarmigan Ridge. From there we could actually see the parking lot and that spurred us on for the final leg. With not much of a breeze, a 3-O-Clock sun beating down on us, and the backpack seeming twice as heavy as the day before (I don't know-- do dirty clothes weigh more?) the last mile felt monotonous. 

awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim...

Yes... I was grateful to reach the end of the trail when we did. My shoulders were complaining, my feet were hurting and I had finished all my water about 20 minutes before we got to the car and was feeling quite parched. The first thing I did when we popped the trunk was grab 2 bottles of water from there. One went directly over my head and other went down my throat. 

You are amazing God!

Bruce was proud of me for doing what I set out to do, thrilled that we were finally able to experience this together. I was proud of my accomplishment as well. (And not ashamed to admit that there was more Ibuprofen consumed along with the water.)

the pulse of life within my wrist, a fallen snow, a rising mist, there is no higher praise than this

We stopped in Glacier for ice cream as a reward and celebration of our adventure. As we licked the fast melting treat off our fingers and hands, we looked at each other and grinned. How beautiful are the feet on the mountain!

oh my soul wells up, yes my soul wells up with Hallelujahs

* song excerpts from How Great Thou Art, Shout to the Lord, God of Wonders, Indescribable, and Hallelujahs,

28 Days Part Two

Winter isn't my finest time to begin with, given that S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder) compounds my long term battle with depression. Add in some feeling pudgy and sluggish and you've got a major black cloud hanging over you.

So.. with the arrival of spring and thoughts of cute summer tops and capri's to wear, I went into a little bit of panic mode when I discovered the change in my body (thanks post-menopause) over the winter months meant those cute clothes just didn't fit right anymore. I knew I had to do something.

A few days later in a conversation with my daughter-in-law, she mentioned a diet that several ladies she knew were following. She said they were eating all the time and losing weight. But she said it was super strict, in that there were lots of things prohibited on the eating plan. Still, they were losing and liking it. I was intrigued and later that day I googled the title and did some research on the diet.

The Fast Metabolism Diet was the name of the book and author Haylie Pomroy assured readers that they could lose up to 20# in just 4 weeks through the fat burning power of food. I didn't feel I needed to lose that much but so much of what she wrote about resonated with me because of my prior days of owning my own fitness center. We taught a weight management program at Curves that espoused ways to raise your metabolism so you'd lose the weight and keep it off. (That eating plan didn't work so well for me once I realized I was wheat/ gluten --and to some degree, dairy- sensitive). I realized just a few chapters into the book that the main problem for me was that the restrictive calorie intake had messed big time with my metabolism. I also wasn't eating enough of the right kinds of foods and I needed some help to get me back on track.

Now, you might think I'd know how to eat right but I'll admit right now, in the last few years I've gotten lazy in the kitchen. My cooking had gotten into a rut and I'd been going for fast, easy and cheap when it came to food purchases and prep. And because I am wheat/gluten and semi-dairy sensitive, it's a challenge to find food I can eat sometimes. I needed a meal map to point me in the right direction. Fortunately The Fast Metabolism Diet was full of maps and pointers. A kind of GPS for my tummy!

The diet is strict: NO wheat, corn, soy, dairy, sugar, artificial sweeteners, fruit juice, alcohol and, (the biggest one for me) NO COFFEE!! (I almost said "I can't do this" when I read that part. In fact I negotiated with myself thinking I could give up all of it but the coffee but once I finished the book I decided if I was going to commit to doing this, I needed to commit fully and give it my all)
And that's what  I did. I began to wean myself off the caffeine. I sat down and wrote out a meal map of my own, using some of the books recipes and suggestions, substituting some foods with ones I liked better (but that were still on the approved foods list) I prepared a shopping list. Best of all, my husband said he wanted to do this with me!

While the diet is strict, and with that list, you think "well, what's left to eat?" but honestly, I've never eaten better! Fresh fruit, veggies by the bushel full, lean meats--organic and nitrate free whenever possible, healthy fats like almonds and cashews, hummus and  avocados. Yes, I've missed my coffee and cream but it's not for forever. It's 28 days of eating strategically, designed to light your metabolism on fire! I've not felt deprived or starving and when I'm hungry it's because it's time to eat not because I've had to skip a meal to try and justify calorie intake.

 I feel better than I have in years! I have energy and stamina. My digestive issues have settled down to almost nothing. I've had only one bad day of fibromyalgia symptoms and I know it was related to snacking on some questionable food items at a party. I've lost inches all over and definitely seen a reduction in that troublesome tummy area! And weight loss? As of this morning I've dropped 10 lbs and am at the lowest weight I've been since... I can't remember when! (hubby reports he's lost about 5 lbs and definitely feels better and really loves and appreciates the wholesome goodness of the meals)

Bottom line is... it works.

coming next.... What follows 28? 

What Did We Get?

caravan to Tall Timber

Take 20+ people of various ages and skill sets, 

5 vehicles, an assortment of  tools, luggage and bedding, 

and enough snacks to feed an army, 

spread them out over a 4 day period

 and see what you get. 

most of the crew acting 'normal'

rainbow of promise!

What we got was:

2 leaders who have been doing this Tall Timber thing for about 20 years. 

A core group that has gotten Tall Timber-itis and keeps coming back. 

Newbies who have never experienced the wonders of our favorite camp. 

Grasshopper Mountain

What we got was:

a list of chores, a plan to execute

work assignments, group time to play and pray

sore muscles, paint splattered clothing, blood, sweat, (but no tears)

weeds-be-gone

blood, sweat and giggles.

artistic touches

safety first

move that dirt!

know the plan

What we got was:

well fed, well housed

dirt moved and removed

weeds gone, flowers planted

grass mowed, trails blazed

mow it down

spread it around

What we got was:

game time, nap time

books read, hikes taken

fellowship, fresh air

sunshine and rain

wild life

sunshine!

What we got was:

a feeling of accomplishment

a sense of pride in a job well done

a better -closer relationship with our church family

time well spent in God's creation. 

having fun while we get it done.

little cabin in the big woods

What we got was something you cannot measure in weight or gold 

and cannot sell, buy or trade. 

What we got was something that can only happen 

when you make a sacrifice of time, money, and energy. 

What we got was something only a mission experience can bring you. 

Mission Tall Timber 2014.
THANK YOU EVERYONE! YOU ARE AWESOME!!

Reflections

Meet Bossy, Hossy, Saucy and Flossy. Everyone knows Thumbkin.

Several years ago my sweet niece gifted me with these ADORABLE fun winter gloves. I just love them and must admit to seeing raised eyebrows when people see what my fingers are sporting! But hey, I love to play and I love to have fun--- and I don't mind a strange look or two!

I think that is truly something to celebrate... when we reach that time in our lives when we can laugh at ourselves. Not take ourselves too seriously. Being ME and being comfortable in that. That's a gift!

In high school I watched from the sidelines as the popular girls flirted with the jocks, never dreaming they might have had just as many insecurities as I did. They had the looks, the hair, the wardrobe and the personality. It seemed like they had it all. And what did I have? A flat chest, a sad wardrobe, acne, strict parents, bad hair days every day and no idea how to act if a popular boy was to ever give me the time of day!

mooooving and grooooving.  it was theme day at work...

I think going to my high school class reunion last year (35 years) really helped cement the fact that we are all just people trying to live our lives as best we can. We were all struggling in high school to figure out this thing called life and some of us seemed to have a better handle on it then others. Or maybe just faked it better.

I think the first time I looked in my mirror and liked who I saw was when  I was approaching my mid-30's. I saw a clear smooth complexion, curves in the right place, cute clothes to enhance the curves and a much more flattering hair style. I knew more about how to wear make up and not look made up. I was gaining confidence as woman and that went deeper than what I saw looking back from the mirror at me.

goofing off while on vacation

The first time I let my sweetie see me without make up, sporting a bed-head and desperate for coffee was a major step. But the first time I went on a church retreat and let the people in my small group see me sans make up, sporting a bed-head and desperate  for coffee was the moment I knew I had arrived.

what do you call a lack of coffee? Depresso....

I have trembled slightly when I have written the number "55"... it's kind of a big deal you know? BUT I remember feeling like I was OLD when I turned 25 and my first born started kindergarten and my sister remarked that I was a 1/4 of a century old. (thanks sis!) All the subsequent birthdays have rolled by with ease... at 40 years of age I was happily (re)married, working in a job I took great pride in, growing deeper in my relationship with Jesus and loving my life. I did not flinch over my age but happily agreed with the gal in the mirror that I looked as good as I felt. (lest you think I brag, let me assure you, I looked good BECAUSE I felt good and that inner glow makes all the difference)

well, hello there!

At 50, I took stock in my life, assessed the damage that fifty years of good (and bad) living had done and decided that perhaps the bloom on the rose was starting to -- uh--- droop just a tad. Gravity was having it's way, whether I owned a fitness center or not!! Hot flashes, love handles, and some unsightly gray (can't even call them silver-- they were definitely gray) hairs cropping up, were all just par for the course. Still, in spite of those things I realized there were much more important things to focus on; relationships being #1.

I think my relationship with God really moved into a much deeper priority by then and it saddens me to think that it took that many years to place Him that high up the ladder. Yes, I have been a believer since I was 9 years old but I didn't really think about how He might have plans for my life and I might want to consult Him on those plans from time to time. (I realize Moses was in his 80's before God brought him into the ultimate purpose his life was designed for but I think I caught on earlier than that!!)

A few years ago I asked God to help me see myself as He sees me and while I know I still have a ways to go in this, I realize now, I always will. But the confidence with which I pursue life these days comes not just from the life experiences I  survived, but from understanding and believing that I truly am a Child of God; redeemed, forgiven, washed clean, sanctified, set apart and chosen.

So, here comes 55 and I think I am ready. I recently lost 25 lbs and this is the least I have weighed in about 20 years. I am walking 3-4 miles almost every day and reaping the benefits of  good physical exercise. I got my hair cut and colored today and feel vibrant and sassy.

the price we pay for beauty...

On the outside, the bloom may be coming off the rose, but inside.... inside, I know my purpose in life --as a writer, as a woman, as a wife, and I love each and every aspect of those roles. God still has a plan for my life. And I am determined, by His Grace, to know it and live it.

for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, plans to prosper you and give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29.11