It's Saturday, It's Raining and I Have Questions.

what can I say about a rainy Saturday? Glad to be inside by the fire with book and blanket. Got the walk out out of the way earlier when it looked like it might actually be a decent day, so that's done. Been averaging 3-4 mile walks 5-6 days a week but had a couple set backs this week. Feeling puny; my body likes to betray me every now and again.

There are days, such as today, when I ask myself who am I racing? I keep trying to increase my pace, applauding myself when my walk app gives me my time and it's better than the day before.  But these child-bearing hips, these creaky-cranky ankles and the feet with slipping arches, are only gonna plod so fast. I see some slight increase in my speed and ability to hold that pace for longer portions of time but again, I have to ask myself, where's this competitive spirit coming from? My sweetie asked me that same question. Why do I feel the need to walk faster than I do right now? I could only shrug and say "I just want to keep improving."

I am at my goal weight and have successfully maintained it for 7 months, and that includes some major holidays! Yet, I think about dropping "just 5 more pounds". I can walk a mile in under 14 minutes on a good day yet I keep thinking "Can I do it in 12?" I love walking and I know how much it has benefited me yet when I walk, in my heart I'm running. I still dream about running a 5K if you want to know the truth.

I was cleaning my closet, moving winter clothes to the back and bringing forward the spring and summer wardrobe, discarding things that are worn out, or the wrong size. Making a mental list of what I need to replace and what would look snazzy with that cardigan and I stop and look, really look, at the pile of clothes I own and have to ask "isn't that enough? Do I really need another.... shirt/pants/sweater?

Where does it end? How much does it take to be satisfied? 

I am part of the human race known as Consumer. If I am being completely transparent, I will tell you I have a selfish streak a mile wide. I wrestle with letting go of my best stuff, in favor of giving just what I don't want or need. The materialistic side of me wins more often than I like to admit.

I comfort this truth with the other truth, that I am a giving, compassionate person, motivated by the Holy Spirit to do what is right and loving and good. I know I have good-- no, GREAT,  qualities. And most of the time, I like to think that the good qualities outshine the bad.

So, here I am wrestling with two different areas: the dissatisfied me and the selfish me.

In his letter to the Philippians, the Apostle Paul wrote: I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Philippians 4.12) 

Earlier in the letter he tells them, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.(Phil. 2)

I don't think it's wrong of me to want to work on improving myself health wise. I don't think it's wrong to want to dress or look nice. What does bother me however, is the attitude behind those things. Am I doing it for my health and well-being or is there some other motivating factor at work? When I want just a little bit more than what I already have, when I want to hang on to my possessions is that an indication that my heart needs some adjustments?

Good questions to ponder on this rainy Saturday afternoon.

Bucket List

Don't we all have one? A list of things we want to do before we... you know....  kick the bucket?

My list is not formal, as in all written out and floating around my house somewhere. No, it's more of a sense of things, floating around in my head. There are some Yes Definitely's that have been in my heart and mind for a long time, and some that I flirt with, thinking if the time ever comes, I will do it but it won't break me to not. And then, occasionally, there comes one that I didn't know was on my list but when the idea presents itself I say, "Yah, that!"



I am feeling pretty satisfied that I began this new year by doing something from my Bucket List on the very first day of 2014. Hubby and I, along with another couple, took a nice long walk yesterday on the Interurban Trail. This is a walking/running/biking trail set on an old railroad bed and it meanders from Fairhaven (South Bellingham) through the woods and parks down to Larrabee State Park.(about 7-8 miles one way)

at the start of the trail

  It's long been a desire of mine to hike the trail. Some people want to do the Pacific Crest Trail (Mexican border to Canadian border) I just want to do the Interurban. I had been on a small portion of the Interurban earlier this year and it only whet my appetite more for knocking this off my list. So, yesterday we chiseled a few more miles off the trail. We made it to Arroyo Park and then turned around and headed back to the car. Next time we'll be able to park at another trail head, just beyond our turn around point and pick up where we left off.

on the trail... what's beyond the next curve?

As Bruce and I drove home, me giggling because I am easily amused and easy to please, I talked about other things on my bucket list that I want and hope to do this year. Obviously one is to return and finish the trail! The only reason we had to stop when we did was lack of time. Aaaand, maybe the distance to Larrabee would have been doable, but then there's the whole walking back thing and that might have been a wee bit more than we are currently up for....

Something that has long been on my list was to run in a marathon of some sort. Not a long distance; a 5k would make me happy.

Eons ago, when I was a young skinny mama, I was a runner. I was up to 5 miles a day, running laps around the 20 acre field behind my house and I had aspirations of entering a marathon just for the joy of it. My little brother was quite a track star in high school and he ran in several local running events, events I often attended and cheered as he crossed the finish line. (The only reason I never entered back then was because 'someone' from my past life wouldn't "allow" it.)

Well, now, there isn't anybody stopping me, however running is no longer much of an option given my worn out body.... BUT walking IS!! So I began looking into the local events that allow both walking and running. Turns out the one race that I had really wanted to do ever since way back when, is open to runners and walkers! The reason this race was so appealing even back then, was partly because it took place in my home town,  plus the title of the event was very fun.  It's called "Run for the Honey Wagon" -- yes, isn't that a fun title?

If you grew up in farm country, you might know that a honey wagon is what we call those handy dandy machines the farmers use for spreading manure on the fields! I don't know how honey wagons figure into this race and I guess I don't really care. What matters is, I want to do this. It takes place this spring and the walking portion is an easy 4 miles. Piece of cake!! It's the signing up and actually doing it in an official way that makes me giddy. Yes, I am going to do it!


Do you have a bucket list? What things do you want to cross off the list in 2104? What's stopping you?

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self discipline.

2 Timothy 1:7