It Won't Keep

As a young mother I came across this sweet poem that reminded me what's really important in raising children. I learned that sparkling clean floors are no comparison to the sparkle in my child's eyes because I spent time with them.

As I am now in my 'mature' years with children grown and grandkids to love on, my focus the past few years has been on a different kind of baby.

It's the story locked with in me that cries to be released. It's the words that I birth as I labor over a blank sheet of paper or watch the curser blink on my computer screen. I've learned that when the ideas are hot, I must act on them. If I ignore it or procrastinate, those little ideas start to slip away.

We discussed this at our last writers group meeting,  brainstorming over the things that often keep us from writing and how to knock down those roadblocks to creativity.  Writing is hard work. But if we want to hone our craft, we must be dedicated. This writing gift deserves attention, just as a baby does.

A few days before the writers meeting, I created a quiet space for myself in our little travel trailer. A place where I can spread out my bible, my journals, my colored pencils and unleash my creativity as I spend time in God's Word.  This was due in part to inspiration I received from a friend who loves to journal and has put a crafter's touch to it. Illustrated Faith is one name for it.

 I've always been an 'underline my bible verse' kind of gal but now I'm taking it to the next level. I take my Sunday Morning sermon notes and ponder them all week long, taking a deeper look at the scriptures, meditating on them and making notes in my journal. I might color or add a sticker or two to make the thoughts I've collected stand out a little more or I might just stick with my ink pen. But the point is, I am spending more time in the Word, more time focused on things of eternal value. (it helps that in the tin-can travel trailer internet reception gets spotty so I can't surf the web very well, and therefore I can truly remain focused on what I went out there for!)

I shared with the writing group about my 'She-Shed' because I realized that one of the roadblocks in my writing is that I have allowed myself to be distracted and often the reason I don't write is because it was easier to just spend time on Facebook rather than putting any effort into writing.  While there's been a writing block in front of me that has had a lock on my creativity the truth is my creative juices tend to run driest when my spiritual life is also dry. When I have a clear close connection with Christ, my creativity flows much better. And my quiet time with the Lord had gotten way too quiet as of late if you catch my meaning...

The sermon this past Sunday was about priorities which just seemed to cement further the whole idea of getting back into God's Word and back into writing my words! In fact, our pastor encouraged us to make a list of the top 5 priorities in our lives.

It was pretty much a no-brainer for me to make my list (God, Family, Friends...) but I pushed myself to go deeper with each item on the list, listing specific measurable goals for each one. Not surprisingly, #5 was to make time and effort to work on my creative side.

So... quiet down Facebook,
Internet go to sleep.
I'm writing a story
and the words just won't keep.

I've Been Meaning to Write

and by write, I mean something of significance. 

Too many days and weeks have drifted by with nary a whisper of inspiration to stir my heart to write. It's a little scary and frustrating and depressing. 

At our last writers group gathering we decided to create a homework assignment where for every day we don't write, we'll at least list the reason why. 

 too often my excuse is this...

but really it's more like... I can't think of anything to write, or I don't feel like writing so I might as well diddle the day away by scrolling thru' facebook. 

GAH.

I guess it's been coming on for some time now. Feeling like I don't have anything creative left to blog about or write a short story about. I've got lots of stories written that could certainly use editing but I just don't feel the unction to do that either.

. 

At that last meeting, we each shared what helps us get moving again when we've gotten stuck. For me its taking a trip. Something about a road trip or a camping adventure always seems to help kick it back in gear. 

I've got a backpacking adventure coming up 4th of July weekend. Here's hoping the muse will be here when I get back.

Craftiness.... ???

yesterday as I left the craft store with my little bag of hope, my mother commented  "You get that from me." 

I thought for a moment, of all the hundreds of quilts she has crafted, the clothes she made for my siblings and me and all the grandbabies, for the unique decorations she made over the years and I had to agree. Yes. When it comes to the desire to craft things, it's my mother's genes influencing me.

 As for  the writing gene .... my dad was the storyteller. 

Whether he was spinning a tale from his childhood escapades or thrilling us with a bible story, complete with sound effects and body motions, Dad could tell a story well. 

I guess I never really thought about it before but yes, both my parents had/have a creative flow and it has passed on to my sibs and me. My sister is crafty with both words and art. One of my brothers creates beauty out of cement. Another brother is gifted with mechanical genius as well as offering wise and kind words as needed. 

Last night I sat at my kitchen counter playing with  stickers and painting pen, trying to turn little ceramic tiles into cute refrigerator magnets. I always have high hopes when it comes to arts and crafts but the truth is I can see it so clearly in my head yet my hands often betray me. Which is why I stick to writing. 

Still the craft store woos me. I wander the aisles, lusting after all the dreams and hopes it's bounty inspires me with. I get into these crafty moods in cycles and will drop $20 in a heartbeat if I think it will allow me to turn something blank into something whimsical.  

I sat back after a couple of hours and looked at my "handiwork". 

I am super critical of myself in this area. My sweet husband leaned over my shoulder and applauded what I'd done but I just kept looking and frowning. I don't like my handwriting. I didn't balance things well. I want more/different stickers. I need more ideas for things to put on the tiles.... 

then I stuck my neck out even more by posting some pictures of what I'd done on facebook 

for all the world to see... 

and laugh. 

Oh why do I do this to myself? 

Berate myself I mean. 

This is the sin of self confidence. The ability to see myself in the worst possible light. So quick to find fault with what I've done. So quick to forget that when God made me He smiled. He didn't create me and then sit back and think "I should have put her eyes a little closer together" or "I think I wired her wrong." 

No, I have to believe that I, like the psalmist says,  am fearfully and wonderfully made. That God delights in me... even sings over me, as it says in Zephaniah. 

I suppose as long as I live, this will be the area I will struggle with time and time again. 

 I've certainly BLOGGED about it enough times!! But I can also laugh at myself and not in a harsh way. 

I'll get this, eventually. 

Meanwhile, there are still some blank tiles to play with....

PicMonkey

 New Fun! If you liked picnik and were saddened to learn of it's pending demise then you need to check out  Pikmonkey!

With PikMonkey you can take a picture like this:

and change it into something like this....

I learned about it at this awesome blog--- just click here

Defining Moments

"Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: 
find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human."

~Anthony Robbins

 
This morning, with the sunshine gloriously streaming through the windows, my husband waiting on me (for a change) so we could leave for church, I whirled through my morning routine of 'what to wear today.' I wanted to wear a skirt; I chose my black and white floral patterned one. I grabbed a tank top but it felt too skimpy for church. I looked for my lime green t-shirt-- love the way it 'pops' with the black and white. Alas the green T was in the wash. My next choice was an orange V neck which I love. I just wasn't sure about the pairing but once I put it on I decided I liked it and now with hubby "A-hem-ing" at the bottom of the stairs, I didn't have time to change. I raced down to join him and away we went.

Why did I waver on wearing orange with black? I can tell you why; not 10 minutes after we arrived at church a friend commented that she liked that color (orange) on me and she would never be brave enough to pair orange and black because it seemed so 'halloweenish'
Aha! Exactly! That was the thought that flashed through my mind as I ran down the stairs.

Funny how we let certain situations (or people) define us. This same friend said she loves the color red and with a birthday on Valentines Day, she decided one year to buy herself this beautiful red dress. But when she put it on and came out of her room her mother said (and we can all hear our mom's voice on this one) "Your not wearing THAT are you?"
My friend took the red dress back to the store and exchanged it for something more sedate.

I wish we could all be brave enough to express ourselves. Appropriately of course. But so often we let what other people think define us. We shouldn't wear that, or we should wear this.

My mom made a lot of my clothes for me when I was in grade school. And I remember one time choosing this very FUN material-- it was actually kinda crazy-- all sorts of primary colors and it had cheery little graphics on it-- pigs and balloons and !! exclamation points. it was kind of a down on the farm -mod squad-Laugh In combo and I thought it was awesome! The outfit was a 2 piece; top and bottoms. I couldn't wait for Mom to finish it so I could wear it to school.

I wore it once.

Why? Well, because the very first day I wore it, some snotty little classmate laughed at me and my outrageous outfit. And suddenly I saw how ridiculous the material was. When I got home I shoved the outfit in the back of my closet and never wore it again.

As a grown up, I decided not to let others influence me this way. One day, while thrift shopping I found these very cute pants. They were made up of many different squares of silk-- each a different color and pattern. They looked ethnic. I fell in love with them on the spot and bought them. And I wore them a lot.

Until one day one of my closest friends, upon seeing me in them for her first time, blurted "Those are the most god-awful things I've ever seen! I can't believe you are wearing them!!"  I felt the smile freeze on my face as I choked back a retort.

I kept them in my closet for another couple of years, pulling them out every so often and wearing them around the house but when it was time to leave, changing into something less bold. Finally, I sent them on to the consignment store.

I like bold colors. I like pastels. I go through clothes as my mood changes. Bright primary colors in the summer and fall, pastels in the spring and a lot of black in the winter. And sometimes I like to wear something with a little 'pop' to it.

One of the oldest friends I have (and by old I mean, length of time not age) initiated a friendship with me because she saw me wearing my red Ked's and thought anyone who wears red shoes has to be a lot of fun!

I look at my mom, wearing her sock monkey slipper on her good foot and I understand where I get my streak of creativity. I may tone things down from time to time because the situation calls for it but underneath my sedate black sweater I might just be wearing a fire engine red bra or a polka dotted one. I might change my clothes a dozen time before meeting a friend for coffee, finally settling on the safe paring of blue jeans and white t-shirt rather than being brave enough to wear a leopard print negligee under a pink cardigan.

I wrestle with these moments. I should be confident enough by now to wear what feels good and get rid of anything that smacks of boring. I should feel free to ask the spa attendant to paint my toenails all a different color for once. I should get up and karaoke next time I have the chance.

Life is too short and to important to let those defining moments hold us captive. Defining moments should instead be about being set free.

Spread your wings today and write your own definition!

The Write Perspective

Oh Joy of Joys, I have been writing all week... journaling, emailing, blogging, fictionalizing and loving every minute of it! For such a long long time all my pens were out of ink and the pencils broken and my muse was on strike and a piece of me curled up and nearly died inside of me. But Day of Hallelujah when the inspiration and desire to return to the page and write, write, write came back!

Yes, there was a period in my life when I could not write. No matter how hard I tried and no matter how desperate I was to create, it wasn't happening. It wasn't writers block as much as a dried up well. I had used my writing to escape from the hell my life had become but when the person who was making my life hell forced me to destroy the very words that were giving me life... well, yes. something died.


There is something incredible soothing about stringing words together into sentences into something that makes you smile and breathe in deep and sit back and say: wow, look what I just said! For me the pen has always been mightier than the words  sword (no let's stick with words-- its got all the same letters just arranged differently is all and in my case I don't like swords but I do love words!!!)

I love to read and I love to write. The reading entertains and feeds me. Writing feeds me deeply. Blogging has given me a powerful outlet, as has FaithWriters . Knowing someone else is reading your words can be a vulnerable thing but the feedback is such a gift! Whether its a positive remark or a corrective suggestion, it can make my whole day! (a negative comment can leave me fretting for days however and I am working on getting over that.)

Sometimes I write without anything to say but I do it anyway because it often takes me to a place I didn't know I  was going and when I get there I discover some good stuff.

These beautiful reminders came to me this morning in my Quiet Time. I will close this post with them, choosing to embrace the positive no matter what may lay on the other side. Happy Friday!

Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. Phil 3.13b

Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Phil. 4.8

Recap of Friday's Frivolity

Blazing Trails part 2

The day with Mom went well! I think she must be feeling better, even though she has not actually admitted this. She isn't taking any pain med's during the day and she never once complained (or moaned!!) while we were out and about. She did say a couple of times that every once in awhile she felt sore on the back of her thigh. I take this as signs that the shot is helping. Praise you Jesus!!

We made all the stops: bank, grocery store, Doctor. Today it was the foot doctor. I wish she would let me take her for a pedicure sometime but with all her particular feet problems (partly related to her diabetes) she does need to have her feet checked by a specialist. I just think it would be fun for her to have the full spa treatment once. She just shakes her head when I mention it though. Which could mean 'no way' or it could mean 'why in the world'. maybe some day I'll just surprise her by taking her to the spa....

We also stopped by Joe's Garden to pick up her planter. Joe's is located on the south side of Bellingham, sort of 'down the hill' from mom's. I wish I had thought to take a picture of this planter because it is unusual. Not your typical hanging basket. Several years ago, my dad bought her this funky little plant hanger, full of blooming impatients, for mom as a gift. The hanger was actually just a long section (about 2 feet)  of plastic pipe that had about 12 holes drilled in it. A crude piece of wire had been looped through the top to allow it to hang. Inside the pipe (which has a cap on one end to keep the dirt in) impatients were planted-- or rather in each hole. So when you hang up this plastic sewer pipe you have all these cheerful little flowers blooming out of the holes.

I guess when Dad saw this pipe/plant hanger at a local nursery he knew it was just funky enough to make Mom love it so he bought it for her. (Mom does have a green thumb and growing up we always had some unusual planters around the farm)

So every year, Mom would replant the pipe with new starts. The last few years she has not been as active in her plant care and has taken the easy way to do it; take the planter to someone else and let them do it. Hence the visit to Joe's Garden. For less than $10 they filled the pipe with fresh soil and plants. Impatients again in a bevy of colors. I don't know what the workers at the garden are thinking as they take this piece of sewer pipe and fulfill her request. But I know what I'm thinking: of all the plant hanging choices available we're gonna stick with this piece of tubing? But-- it was a gift from Dad and something Mom treasures. Dad knew how to feed Mom's quirky side and that spoke love to Mom.

A side note: some of the quirky planters we had around the farm included old work boots, milk cans and strainer lids,  and assortment of discarded pots and pans. There was also a planter shaped like a ferris wheel that held rectangular planter boxes and the wheel really rotated! It was quite pretty.


After the running around, I did offer to cut Mom's hair and she said OK. I was thinking as I was trimming it, this is a real sign of trust, that Mom would allow me to cut her hair when I have never done this for her before. It was easy enough to do and she liked the results. It wasn't a new style, just trimming about 1/2 inch of everything. She was pleased.

The Trail Blazers event was a hoot. About 70 people in attendance with Mexican decor (pinata, sombreros) Excellent food; cheese enchiladas, chile verde, pollo a la crema, rice and beans and all the extra trimmings (guacamole, pico de gallo, sour cream)

We were entertained by a Mexican family of singers. It was great! Loud but pretty! Our skit went off smoothly and got laughs in just the right places. I was supposed to be praying the Lord's Prayer and suddenly "God" starts talking to me. My character is quite surprised because, praying the Lords Prayer is just something I do every day, like a religious duty and the last thing I expected was God to actually be listening-- and reply! So it was a great illustration that prayer really is a 2-way conversation and it is also much much more than just words we recite. It's conversation with Someone who cares! After the skit Bruce gave a short talk about how his own prayer life has evolved over the years... from the "Now I lay me down to sleep" prayer of his childhood into learning the Lords Prayer and beyond.

Judging from the comments to us afterward, the people really enjoyed it and liked the message we were conveying. I'm sorry; no one took pictures. :(

We came home last night, well fed both physically and spiritually. A great day all in all... and now I am happy for a quiet Saturday at home!

Crafty Time

I participated in the Handmade Hog at bouffe e bambini! I like to make crafty things via publisher or powerpoint and that is how I made my own banner (top of page) for my blog and below is a variant of this.

I am still learning about blogging things like making my own blog button and participating in blog hops and such. Sometimes I am ON TOP OF IT but often I feel I have fallen behind....  Ah well... it's all in great fun and for me it is really about feeding my creative streak.

This is another one I made in power point. The picture is of our beautiful Twin Sisters and was taken from along Hwy 9, looking north at the Twin Sister Mountain range. We live in a spectacular place!

Because I started this blog to write about the mission trip we went on a year ago (!) I went with the name How Beautiful because it fit so well with taking the good news of Jesus to others. I have toyed with the idea of changing the name of my blog to 'the robyn's nest' or starting a new blog with that name... but like I said, still learning about all the bloggy-techie stuff... and prefer to keep life simple.

Again... it's about enjoying life, recognizing the beauty of life and bringing beauty when there isn't any to be found.

Tools of the Trade

Reflecting on the tools that have helped me hone my craft.... led to a little trip down memory lane as I fondly recall the sweet orange typewriter that my grandmother gifted me with when I was 13. I had just won in a creative writing contest and my short story would be printed in a Christian Youth publication (The Young Ambassador, a now, out of print magazine) Grandma believed in my writing abilities, something I will never forget.

I never did master typing; it's still a lot of hunt and peck!

Despite the typewriter my favorite tool was still the pen and paper and diaries and journals were my best friend all through my teen age years of angst. I still keep a journal but it is more often than not a companion to my bible as I record my thoughts and revelations as the Holy Spirit speaks to me.

and these only represent the last few years....

A lot of my 'journalese' now occurs in the form of-- surprise-- my blog!

Perhaps my most prized possession in the land of writers tools is my laptop, which my husband saved for almost a year, the funds with which to purchase it for me. I spent hours online 'building' and rebuilding the perfect laptop for my needs.

I love my cherry-wood grained skin even if it did add a couple of extra ounces to the weight!

Another part of my arsenal are the books I read... and this short pile doesn't even begin to do it justice! I staged this picture, randomly grabbing the titles that yelled the loudest from my bookshelves.....

it's a smorgasbord of titles from childhood and up... and yes, I did include my own self published novel! 

Create is the operative word in my life. While I love to write and I believe this is one of the gifts God gave me, I really see it in a larger scope these days. Creating a welcoming space is just as satisfying as the short story or blog. It feeds me deeply.

what feeds you?