Fake It Till Ya Make It.

Recently a friend was sharing with me that she seemed to be walking through a dry desert in regards to her spiritual walk with God. She said she yearns to be hungry and thirsty for more of Him and to feel excited and joy-filled by His Presence. But instead she is feeling lethargic about things... feelings of anxiety and dread seem to rise up as she approaches her place of worship. She doesn't want to feel this way and she is trying to figure out how and why she ended up in this dry and dark place. 

Her comments resonated with me... because too many times I have been in that place. Sometimes it was depression but after some deeper examination what I know is this.

I have learned that during those times of feeling down, discouraged, frustrated or blocked, the first step is to examine my heart and mind. 

1. Is there an unconfessed sin in my life that God wishes for me to deal with? 

Oh, this is the one I don't like very much. I don't usually have to look very far to find it.... but it still isn't much fun. 

2. Is there someone in my life that I might be harboring resentment or unforgiveness towards? 

In the past I had a lot of resentment towards several people. And yes, even now I have to admit there are people in my life who I have (had) issues with and I have had to deal with those-- or rather, allow the Holy Spirit to deal with ME in regards to those!! (maybe I will share how that happened in another post) 

BUT WHAT IF there doesn't seem to be any unresolved issues that are standing in my way of experiencing all the fullness of JOY that comes from being with Jesus? What then?

I have to say, I don't know why we go through these times of feeling far away or feeling less than joy-filled. It bothers me a lot to realize how complacent about Jesus and my faith I sometimes feel.

Just this past Sunday during the worship service at my church I was impressed with a word or two from the Holy Spirit. It has to do with that adage "Fake it till you make it." 

While the Holy Spirit didn't say those words exactly, what He did do was to remind me of some things.

God says for us to have faith. But faith requires action. When Jesus healed people he always issued a command of some sort that required action. When he healed the lame man, he said "Rise up and walk!" and THEN the healing took place as the man obeyed his command. 

I can't think of anytime in scripture where Jesus spoke healing and that person waited and watched the healing take place before getting up and doing his thing. It always took place as the person stepped out in faith. He instructed the man with the withered hand to stretch out his hand. I am assuming that a withered hand would have a hard time stretching but the man did it in obedience and faith and as he stretched it the healing happened. 

This is what I think God wants us to do in the times of feeling down. First, ask Him to give you more joy. Ask Him, as my friend is doing,  to make you hungry and thirsty for more of Him. But then, don't sit and wait for the joy to bubble up inside of you. Start acting joy-full even if you don't feel it. 

Because in the action you display your faith that God is gonna honor your request. It is God's desire that we'd want more of Him so this is a request he will not deny. But I believe it does require us to show action. 

This past Sunday when  I went to church, I didn't feel so great. I had been nursing a sick headache since the day before and I almost stayed home. I also was feeling pretty tired emotionally that morning and the music was too loud and the Pastor was too bubbly and all these people wanted to hug me.... !!!

I was feeling all icky and irritated... and then I felt the Spirit nudge me... and I have learned to honor those nudges otherwise they turn into big shoves... so I responded to the nudge by opening my mouth to sing, raising my hands to praise -- acting in obedience.  Yep, the fake it till ya make it. 

But here's the great amazing thing:  in those action steps, God always meets me! 

That's right.... I didn't have to fake it for very long.

You know what I think?? Don't be shocked but I think God likes to dance and He waits for us to take a step and then He steps and then we step together and soon we are waltzing around the room.  Maybe we even do the jitterbug or boogie!! Whatever. The point is, faith requires action and if we are asking God to fill us with joy, then we need to start acting like that request has been filled. Show our faith in Him! 

Remember good ol' Peter and how he stepped out of the boat to walk on the water with Jesus? He'd never done that before. He didn't know anything about walking on water and how it was done! He just wanted to be with Jesus and so out he leapt. Have you heard this expression (which I love)  "If you wanna walk on water, you gotta get outta the boat!

Faith always requires action. Are you struggling with something in your spiritual walk? Examine your heart. Ask for more of Jesus and then get out there and meet Him! And maybe even bring your dancing shoes. 

Bind My Wandering Heart to Thee

In my last post, I asked myself WHY, if God is so great, He isn't enough for me. What are the things that distract me from making Him my main focus? What is it about those 'other things' that convince me to pursue them instead of finding the fullness of Christ? 

I love the old hymn, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing"  but one verse in particular seers my heart with fresh pain when I stop and examine the words and see them play out in my life. 

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!

I am so indebted to God's Grace in my life. The word 'constrained' means to be limited, held back, or hindered. I am limited or hindered in my ability to take in the greatness of what God did for me! Perhaps this is in part due to being raised in a Christian environment, asking Jesus into my heart when I was 9 years old. I don't have a Gutter to Gospel testimony about being saved from the ravages of life. Sure, I have wandered off the path but I have never forsaken my faith. So, perhaps I have become  a bit lethargic over the years, complacent in my beliefs, lukewarm in my love and passion for Jesus. Perhaps I have grown desensitized to the overwhelming greatness of God's love and sacrifice. This is a tragedy! I don't want to feel cold and apathetic when it comes to God's Love!

Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.

The word 'fetter' means chain, or shackle. To tie up. To have my wandering heart shackled to the goodness of God. What a powerful image. Nobody likes to think about being chained, I'm sure. I remember my mother made a vest for my little brother when he was around 2 or 3. It buttoned down the back and it had an O ring on it. From this she snapped a long light weight rope and attached it to a clothes line that ran the length of our side yard from tree to tree. While she worked in the garden she would tether my little brother to this line and would be able to turn her back on him, allowing him to roam freely as far as the line would allow. She didn't have to worry about him wandering into the roadway, or the cow pasture or anywhere else danger lurked. I used the same thing on my son when he was small. It allowed them freedom in that they could play unhindered to the extent that they were also free from any hazards . I guess I would like my heart to be fettered to God. Shackle me so that I can explore life in the safety net of Christ. 

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Such an ironic desire. I've been Unshackled from sin and the penalty of sin, which is death, set free to live a life of fullness yet here I am asking to be shackled again only this time to give me more fullness of life. Because I am prone to wandering. I get off the path of righteousness over and over again. I mentioned in my previous post my penchant for overspending. Yes, God set me free from this "addiction" but the danger of falling back into it is always present. I still love to shop---  it's not called retail THERAPY for nothing-- so it becomes really easy to slip into the danger zone. I have to practice restraint. I have to set limits for myself. Even simple things like getting groceries requires me to be disciplined and prayerful. 

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it.... prone to leave the God I love.... yes that's me.... over and over and over again. I am properly chagrined when I examine my actions and even my thoughts.

 Here's my heart Lord, take and seal it.... 

To seal something in biblical times was to guarantee it. In 2 Corinthians 1:22, it talks about how Christ put his seal of ownership on us, identifying us as His own: and he has identified us (set his seal of ownership) as his own by placing the Holy Spirit in our hearts as the first installment that guarantees everything he has promised us.

And what has He promised us? Eternal life. Sealing it for those courts above. 

So, as I go about my days, and each one will bring more striving and failures as that is the way with my human nature, I will also strive forward, for more of God, less of me. 

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;

Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing written by Robert Robinson. You can read a little bit about him and his story here

If God's So Great Why Isn't He Enough?

God should be my everything. The psalmist said "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want" or in another version, "I have everything I need."  In almost every psalm that David wrote the theme of praise is constant: God is Great! 

I believe this with all my heart. God is great. He is faithful, His love endures forever. His mercy is everlasting. His care for me is evident. God is, irrefutably, undeniably, overwhelmingly, GREAT. 

So why isn't He enough? 

Why is it that my worries and fears crowd my heart and mind in such a way that I diminish God's greatness? Why is it that I seek after other things for comfort, solace, fulfillment? If God is everything I need, why do I act so needy and why do I seek after other things? 

Why do I allow the pressures of unpaid bills and lack of funds to supersede the track record that my Jehovah Jireh has established in my life? Why do I let my circumstances define me rather than my identity as a child of the King of Kings? 

Why do I cast my worries on Jesus, as my bible encourages me to do, and then in the next minute pick them all back up again to weigh me down? 

If God is as great as I say I believe He is, why isn't He enough for me? 

For years, my biggest vice was shopping. Call it retail therapy and chuckle, but since I was a young girl, my monthly allowance burned a hole in my pocket and I couldn't save a dime to save my life! When I was a single mom, struggling to provide for my daughter and I, I got into some serious debt thanks to credit cards and a void I was trying unsuccessfully to fill. By the time I married Bruce, my shopping and spending habits were deeply entrenched and I had some serious addictions to battle. Now, I know when you say the word addictions,  drugs, alcohol and gambling are the things that come to mind. Say it's a shopping addiction ,and like saying retail therapy, people kind of laugh it off. But for me, I knew it was something I needed to get control of. I tried to manage it in my own power but it took the work of the Holy Spirit in my life to really break the control that unbridled spending had over me. 

The question I had to come to terms with wasn't why I was spending money I didn't have on things I didn't need, but rather what  void in my life was I trying to fill through this activity? In other words, why wasn't God enough? 

Tonight I took another look at Psalm 145... like all of David's poetry, it is overflowing with a melody of praise, of God's greatness. I was struck, really struck with the choice I have to be grateful for God's goodness and grace. I must decide to declare God's Greatness. I must commit 100% to believing that God is greater than all my circumstances. 

I will exalt you, my God and King,
    and praise your name forever and ever.
² I will praise you every day;
    yes, I will praise you forever.
³ Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise!
    No one can measure his greatness.

For a LOT of us, life's not so great. You all know of the ongoing struggle my husband and I face because of financial issues. Life is hard right now. Life without the money to live properly is really really not O.K. But even when life is not great, God still is.

 Let me say this again: When Life is NOT great, God is still great. My pastor says these two truths are not mutually exclusive, and deciding to declare God's Greatness in the face of badness can be my way of acknowledging I belong to Him.

Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts;
    let them proclaim your power.
⁵ I will meditate^[ on your majestic, glorious splendor
    and your wonderful miracles.
⁶ Your awe-inspiring deeds will be on every tongue;
    I will proclaim your greatness.
⁷ Everyone will share the story of your wonderful goodness;
    they will sing with joy about your righteousness.

When life is not great, I can still decide to be Grateful. This life is temporary but I know His Kingdom is eternal, and my security in Him is eternal. 

All of your works will thank you, Lord,
    and your faithful followers will praise you.
¹¹ They will speak of the glory of your kingdom;
    they will give examples of your power.
¹² They will tell about your mighty deeds
    and about the majesty and glory of your reign.
¹³ For your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom.
    You rule throughout all generations.

When life is not great, God knows. He hears. He helps and He cares. I know I am not the only person who is struggling, daily, with keeping strong, keeping the faith, keeping their head above water, and pushing forward. Finding strength, hope and help in God's Word and the presence of the Holy Spirit is something I have to choose to do--- again, declaring God's Greatness-- minute by minute, day by day. 

The Lord helps the fallen
    and lifts those bent beneath their loads.
¹⁵ The eyes of all look to you in hope;
    you give them their food as they need it.
¹⁶ When you open your hand,
    you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.
¹⁷ The Lord is righteous in everything he does;
    he is filled with kindness.
¹⁸ The Lord is close to all who call on him,
    yes, to all who call on him in truth.
¹⁹ He grants the desires of those who fear him;
    he hears their cries for help and rescues them.
²⁰ The Lord protects all those who love him,
    but he destroys the wicked.

¹⁰ 

God is Great. I trust Him.... so I will decide to declare His Greatness... even when.... and especially when, life is not!

I will praise the Lord,

    and may everyone on earth bless his holy name

    forever and ever.

We Will Not Panic

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 ~~We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

 

every time i start to feel overwhelmed, scared, rattled, threatened by the storms of life, it never fails that i get an email update from a friend who had a bone marrow transplant about 9 months ago and is still involved in a daily battle to win the war on cancer. and his emails flow, indeed, spill over with, praise to God and contentment in knowing God is in control of every single second of his life. and I think: if he can maintain such positive faith-filled attitude with all he faces, than who am i to tremble over my future?  

 

some days it feels like we were plucked from the raging water and placed into a little life boat. we're still bobbing on the waters but at least we're no longer in danger of drowning. at least we are in the boat now. and we just keep paddling, looking, hoping for an outlet that will take us to calmer seas.  

 I like to remember the story of the boat full of the disciples, caught in the middle of the storm. Remember, Jesus was in the boat too..... asleep? And he woke up and asked the men why they were so afraid, where was their faith?

I think it's important to remember that even though the waters rage around my boat, with Jesus in the boat with me, I am safe. 

Jesus IS in the boat with me. And he'll be in your boat too, if you ask him. 

A Promise of the Lord's Presence

This morning as my man was leaving the house he paused in the open door. "Have you read your bible yet this morning?"

Now, this was not a judgement call. Not a holding me accountable moment. Just a 'did you read it because i did and i want to weigh something i read' kind of moment. I invited him to share, meanwhile wishing he'd step back in the house as it's darn nippy out and I, wrapped in a towel fresh out of the shower, was on my way upstairs to get dressed. Did I say it was nippy out? Darn nippy. But I am really trying to practice patience with my man these days as he's struggling with plenty of disappointments, responsibilities and stress.

From Exodus 23: "See I am sending my angel before you to lead you safely to the land I have prepared for you." God was speaking to Moses but Bruce heard Him loud and clear this morning speaking to him. I love that Bruce was reading, that he heard God speaking to him and that he drew strength from it. I love knowing that as Bruce tromps all over Whatcom County today, with resumes and a list of places to go to, that this verse will reside in his heart and mind. That's the Living Breathing Word of God right there folks! 

It's speaking to me too. After I was dressed I sat down for my quiet time with the Lord and since both Bruce and I are following the same reading plan, this was what I read today too. it didn't jump out at me as it did for Bruce but the whole section from verses 20-33 was a fair warning and encouragement for me. 

We are both actively looking for work. For Bruce this is not a new thing by any means. Self employed in construction means always looking for the next job but for the 30 plus years he has been self employed he has needed to do very little searching as the leads have come to him through word of mouth, networking and God's provision. But now with so many people scratching and clawing for survival, and with God seemingly leading Bruce into something different than what he has been doing, looking for a job has taken on a new meaning. We are seriously considering closing down the business and letting all that is involved in that go, in trade for a regular 9-5, 40 hour work week and steady paycheck-- and, be still my heart --benefits.

And I am looking for something part time and putting my resume out there and filling out applications and checking out Craigslist and other classifieds every day. I found a job posting for a church as receptionist type position and I also applied for a receptionist type position in a secular setting. I applied at Curves in Bellingham which gave me a huge chuckle as I did so, thinking how fun it would be to do the part of the job I loved without having to carry the weight of ownership on my shoulders. more on that in a minute, I want to get back to how the scripture passage spoke to me.

It serves me more as a reminder/warning about maintaining my Christian values in the face of social pressure. I don't view myself as super susceptible to being drug down if I went to work in a secular place  but it was a timely reminder to not sacrifice what I hold near and dear in exchange for a few hours of work each week. In other words, I can trust God to supply my needs and not take any job offer that might mean I would have to give up things I am involved in, such as being a small group facilitator, or a table leader at Dream School. YAY!

So about Curves. Yup, I dropped off a resume on Monday and got a call from the owner on Wed. We had a good chat over the phone and it sounds very positive. I am going to go in on Monday to get a better feel for things. It's very part time and the hours would work fairly well for me plus I'd be able to work out-- something I have been missing terribly! I feel optimistic and enthusiastic about this opportunity.

Meanwhile, my man is checking out all kinds of opportunities. He applied online with Samaritan's Purse even though there were not any specific listings. They called the next day to ask him if he would be interested in a 90 day carpentry commitment!! it is a paying job but the catch is it's in Haiti. 

sigh. We feel pretty strongly that's just not the right place right now.

But again, we know the Lord is leading and He will lead us BOTH into the place He has prepared for us. He has promised us.

What God Calls Us To

God doesn't call us to serve so we can be comfortable. As Rick Warren says "God is more interested in our character than our comfort."

Here's an interesting question. What would you do if you were confident that God was with you? (it says in scripture, If God is for us who can stand against us? Romans 8.31)

I think too often we are afraid to get involved with anything that challenges our comfort zone, because we fear what might happen to us. (Feed the homeless? I might get mugged! Go to the mission field in --fill-in-the-blank? I might get killed!) But there is probably a higher percentage of us getting in a car accident --which we have little, if any, control over-- than something bad happening to us when we answer the call to serve. And besides not all of us are called to put our lives out there in ways such as Kimberly Smith, who fights against human trafficking in Sudan.

I'm not comfortable with the thought of going into the mission field where I might be deprived of 'things' I consider necessary to keeping me clean and cozy. I like hot showers, soft beds and warm blankets. I don't like scorching sun, bugs, and dirty surroundings. (Stink bothers me. I don't do smelly. Just a trip to the dump, standing too close to the garbage pile, catching a whiff of any offending odors sends me scurrying back to the safety of the truck cab, gasping for fresh air)

But, (thankfully) God hasn't called me to that kind of mission field. at least not today. ;)

However, the places I am being called to serve can still stretch my character. I look at my day-timer and groan when I realize that I have a commitment almost every night next week. Mentoring, school, small group, dinner party.... and I struggle to muster up the enthusiasm and energy needed to pull it off. Then the Holy Spirit taps me on my shoulder and says "Sweetie, you're not doing this alone. Remember, I am with you. My grace will carry you through it. My grace will be sufficient. In all the places you feel weak? That's when I step in and show my power!" (2 Corinthians 12.9)  It's actually kind of funny to even think that God built me this way--to short circuit when overloaded--just so that I would need Him so desperately to do all the things He asks me to do!

It would be so much simpler, easier, to just stay home and not get involved. To lead a quiet life that revolves around keeping my little house tidy and my husband well fed. And for certain seasons in my life that has been all God has asked of me. oh, and Go to church on Sunday, greet others, sing loudly, take some notes, rock some babies, wipe up spilled coffee, go home. Done for the week!

But at some point God started nudging me to do more. I resisted for awhile, hanging on to the safety net of wanting to be in control of my life and my schedule. I wanted to please God but I wasn't fully trusting Him. Then.... the truth slowly sunk in... the only real way to please God was to trust Him. This takes some wrap-my-head-around-it- action but I am getting it. When I let go of the need to control things, and start trusting God with everything, every area of my life, including my needs for comfort and safety, not only am I pleasing God but my life begins to truly make sense.

It's no secret that I have struggled with depression, and that I guard my downtime with diligence, determined to preserve my health and sanity. But what I see God teaching me is again that thing about Grace. He isn't asking me to be reckless or putting myself in harms way but to just trust Him. When I think about it that way, that whatever I enter into, if I do it with faith, then I have nothing to fear, it changes everything.

Someone recently shared with me her experience at helping with a food bank distribution and how the location for the day bordered on sketchy. She experienced no harm but it is unlikely that she will volunteer to help with this program again because of the safety issues. While I understand this kind of thinking, I am weighing it against the call to serve and wondering where the trust comes in. If God calls us to something, can we believe that He is with us in it? (question from above; what would you do if you were confident that God was with you?) Does the fear of taking risks get us off the hook from following the call to serve? Read the following paragraph and ask yourself if you think there is truth in this statement:

For a Christian, fear is dangerous. Any fear that keeps us from doing the will of God puts us out of fellowship with Him and forfeits His blessing.

(source: http://themoorings.org/life/basics/risk.html)


 I'm not saying my friend is wrong if she chooses to stay home from the next food bank distribution. Each of us must decide for ourselves where they are being called to serve. (and if we are not being called that is good reason to question our safety!)
I'm simply saying that following Christ requires us to trust. If we believe God is calling us to something, we must also believe that He will bring us through it.

His Word--My Rock!

I know God always speaks through His Word but it's really amazing when you actually listen to what He says!!

I read this morning from the 1st and 2nd chapters of Exodus, where the new king of Egypt has no idea who Joseph was or the good he did for the people. The Israelites become slaves, the king orders all the baby boys to be killed and the mother of one little boy hides her baby in a reed basket in the Nile River. The beginning of the story of Moses.

What jumped out at me this morning was the comparison to my own life. How quickly I can forget all the good God has done for me.... from sending His Son to die for my sins, to the daily bread He provides, I tend to have a short memory when it comes to this. Why is that? (aside from age contributors I mean!) I have a tendency, like this King, to fear the future, forgetting all that has happened in the past to protect me. Thankfully, God is at work despite my short sightedness!

Just as God was putting a plan for redemption into place when He inspired this young mother to hide her baby in the river basket, so He is still governing the plans for my life. I must trust, I must remember, that God is orchestrating things even if I can't see them. All that we are going through right now may at times feel overwhelming and scary and seemingly without a bright future but the God who provided for us in the past is still at work and will provide for me today and tomorrow and the next day and the next and the next!

God never said it will be easy but He does promise Good!

My memory verse- which I quoted quite proudly this morning to Bruce with no cheating- anyone who listens to my teachings and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the flood waters rise, and the wind beats against the house, it will not collapse because it is built on bedrock! Matthew 7:24-25.

I'm standing on His Word because it is the Rock!

Trying Not to Panic

This summer I read a book called, if I remember correctly, "The girls guide to homelessness" and it was based on the blog of this young southern California girl who found herself  to be out of work and out of a house, seemingly overnight. she recounts with total transparency the fears and obstacles she faced daily. I applaud her honesty and her transparency even as I shy away from TMI (too much information) about my own life. Yet I always want my blog to be authentic. Life is not always a bed of roses, or a sunny day. Still, even when I struggle in my day to day life, I cling to the grace and goodness that I know my God delivers.

Right now, my husband and I are going through some of the leanest times we have ever faced. As a self employed contractor, every winter is hard. Work always slows down this time of year and we have had times of severe unemployment but none such as we are faced with right now. And I have decided I need to share honestly how this is going. What we are facing. How we are dealing with it. Because I know we are not alone. I know others-- many around us-- are struggling too. How do we get through it? What gives us the strength to hang on, day after day, when the rope we cling to frays a little more each day?

We have never gone hungry. But we have (are) faced the same meal of top ramen or oatmeal many many days in a row. We've not run out of gas but we've cancelled many trips because we don't know where the next tank of gas will come from. We've just recently been disconnected from our landline phone, which also meant saying good bye our internet service. Thankfully we were able to pay the cell phone bill (Bruce's cell number is listed on all his business cards so it was imperative we keep this in service) and our library offers free Wi-Fi. We don't have insurance. No medical. No life. No auto and lastly, and possible the worst-- no liability insurance. (For a self employed contractor that is really not O.K.) My car needs brake work, the work truck needs all sorts of repairs and Bruce's car has no heater/defroster among other goofy things. We haven't made a house payment in 3 months, as well as our garbage and water bills. I have just enough money set aside to pay the power bill on Monday but it will only just barely satisfy the beast.

Work is spotty. Bruce's job in Oregon last month seemed like a wonderful golden opportunity.... but the vehicle problems we had trying to get there ate up a lot of the income. In times past, a job here and a job there kept us from total bankruptcy. Lately there seems to be plenty of opportunities for Bruce to provide mission outreach work... which means nothing in terms of a paycheck, but is priceless when he sees the grateful face of the person receiving the help.

We feel God is leading us into something... and we understand that to serve Him requires sacrifice. Is this financial crisis part of that? Are we being asked to simplify our lives, remove clutter and distractions so we can more clearly hear God speaking? Yet, when the bills are piling high on the desk and the threatening letters and phone calls increase, do they not also serves as serious distractions?

Bruce can pound the pavement looking for work and feel frustrated for lack of return on his investment of time.... and then marvel over the lead he gets of someone who desperately needs a repair on his home and lacks the funds to pay for it. And his heart takes him to that persons home and he fixes it and comes home, torn between celebrating being able to use his gifts in this way, and weeping over another day of not providing for his family.

the tension we are living is HARD. But we desire to be faithful. And we desire to TRUST God in the face of such scary trying times. We believe God is good and that He has a plan for our lives. Does his plan include going with out? What do we really need to survive? I have said I would be happy to live anywhere as long as I have Bruce at my side. Does God want us to lose our house? Would that be the worst thing that could happen? No not really.

Are we supposed to be learning something NEW in all of this? Are we being tested? How are other Christians out there dealing with the economic tsunami that wipes out the foundations on which they live?

We are going to ride this thing out.... with faith instead of fear.... but it aint easy. It sure aint easy.

A Gift to Myself

a birthday celebration from 2006

I wasn't kidding when I said only 15 shopping days till my birthday. Well, ok, maybe I was kidding about the shopping part. I have mellowed in my advanced years so I am not obnoxiously making lists and sending everyone copies anymore.

Still, being a December baby, I tend to get a little territorial about the day. No Christmas decor until after my birthday. No birthday presents wrapped in Christmas wrap. No Merry Birthmas combo presents please. I got enough of that growing up which is why I developed this attitude about my birthday. it's self preservation baby.

anyway, enough about that. I decided today to launch something I have been thinking about doing since I first started blogging.

Another BLOG!!! Ha ha, this one is for my short stories!! I love the exercise that participating in Faithwriters allows me but I don't always enter the weekly challenges. And I have stories itching to be released that a weekly challenge doesn't always incite. I do need a little incentive and prodding to make it happen sometimes.

So.... introducing This Robyn's Nest, a blog that will feature short stories written by me! And to launch it, I have posted one that is near and dear to my heart, the story of my grandmothers faith in me in my youth, as a writer and the gift she gave me to prove it. I hope you'll check out http://littlebitsofrobyn.blogspot.com/  and be blessed.

too excited to sleep

in just a matter of hours God has taken our outstretched hands and filled them with bounty. He has taken our stretched out faith and rewarded it with loving kindness.
In just the last 2 days, the flood gates of heaven have opened and the donations of support for Bruce's trip have come in-- enough to say we are close to 3/4 of the way to what we need to cover the cost of airfare. This is something only God can orchestrate.

We have not made a secret of our needs but we have not done the kind of fundraising we have in previous mission trips. Other than blogging about it and a couple of posts on facebook (which in my social circle is relatively small compared to others) it's been by word of mouth.

When Bruce left the house the other morning, we did not have the money to buy a ticket. But we had some money in an envelope that was earmarked for next months bills. This means that money was already spent so we really didn't have the money. But believing this was how we exercise faith, we decided to 'borrow' the money, deposit it to our credit card and then use the card to buy the tickets believing that God would step in and replenish the envelope before next months round of bills came due. Bruce did deposit the money but then, the person he needed to speak to was not in and so the purchase must wait till Monday.

By the time Bruce came home last night, over $600 had been pledged towards the plane ticket amount. Over the course of today that amount has risen... we are currently less than $400 from our needed goal! I believe that before Bruce calls S.P. on Monday, the rest of the funds will have come in.

Yes, stating it in faith.

I know we serve a Big Big God and I say all the time that I believe and have faith. Then, God does something that blesses us and leaves us speechless and I can only gasp in awe of how he works and who he is and how much he loves us. it is beyond reason.

Letter to Someone I Love....

Dear....

I was giving a lot of thought and prayer to all you are going through right now. It seems overwhelming and the frustration and fear will wear you down. For some reason the story of Shadrach Meshack and Abednego came to mind. You remember them, right, from the book of Daniel? They refused to bow down to the king, because they would only give that kind of worship to their God. And because of this the king ordered them thrown into the fiery furnace. But what happened next? A figure was seen in the flames with them. The figure was that of an angel, or in some translations, it was the Lord walking in the fire with them. And they were brought back out of the fire with out a hair on their heads harmed. They didn't even smell like smoke!

Now while it is a story of amazing promise and hope, I find it really interesting that God protected them IN the fire. He didn't prevent the action of being thrown into the fire -- but rather He allowed it. And then he stood in the fire with them and protected them. And it made me think of you. Right now you are in a fiery trial period of your life. You may be wishing that God would have spared you from being thrown into the fire. But for His perfect reasons, He is allowing this to happen. But the same God who walked in the fiery furnace with Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego, is walking with you.  So hold on tight to that image. In Isaiah 43. 2 God says: When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulties, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up, the flames will not consume you, for I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD.

I also see a parallel to the fact that the 3 men refused to bow to the king. You have just made a commitment to another and to God to live in accordance to His will and His Will alone. This is a guarantee that the enemy will attack you. He will throw all sorts of fiery darts your way-- and God for reasons we may never understand, will allow this to happen. But HE will never allow harm to come to you. We are children of God and the evil one can not touch us!! Even in the face of the worse case scenario, God is GOOD and He is Sovereign. Rest in Him. Hope in Him. Wait on Him.

 I hope this gives you a measure of comfort and encouragement today. And tomorrow.... I know that verse from Isaiah was like a life line for me during some of the darkest moments of my life. I pray it will be the same for you.


Love,
Robyn

It's May 21st and I'm Still Here

I wasn't buying any of this May 21st Judgement Day stuff. No one knows the day or the hour of our Lord's return. (Matthew 24.36)  But it's been quite the hype for sometime now. However, there is a day coming and I am so very thankful for my salvation in Jesus Christ. My assurance comes from the word of God. 

I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned, he has crossed over from death to life (John 5:24).