The Facebook Fast

The questions stared up at me from the printed page on my lap. I squirmed in discomfort as I pondered what was being asked. Squirming inside, because the questions struck a nerve. And I knew immediately what the answer was.

Hello, My name is Robyn and I'm a facebook-aholic. It's been 3 days, 2 hours and 18 minutes since my last facebook check in...

Sunday Morning. Sitting in church. Program insert with sermon notes on my lap. Pen poised, I scan the page. At the end of the notes are the questions; Life Application Questions to be exact. The first one leaps up at me, and it doesn't just threaten to bite me, it BITES ME.
1. Identify three areas of your life that take up your time; what are they and what practical changes can you make this week to focus more of your energy on the One Who Is Worthy? 

I started using Facebook back in 2007 and at first it was just an occasional visit. Checking in to see what my friends were up to, maybe post a little status update of my own. It was harmless and fun and a great way to stay connected without overcommitting myself. Everyone was doing it.

Without any hesitation I could easily identify three things that occupied a great deal of my time each day and it wasn't Jesus. Yes, I read from my bible most every day and have some cool stuff, like the bible app on my phone and email devotionals. Just recently my husband and I have started doing our morning bible reading together and then praying together before he leaves for work. I listen almost exclusively to praise music in the car and when I'm at home. I try to say a prayer each time I hear a siren screaming down the highway and I try to offer an encouraging word when I read a distressing post on facebook.... I always feels like Jesus is right there with me.I believe He's walking with me every day.... So really, if Jesus is the air I breathe, like the song says, aren't I always proclaiming He is Worthy?

I've tried justifying my time on Facebook, saying I'm using it as a tool for witnessing and being an encourager. I list prayer requests and I honor prayer requests. I see a need and I step in to help where I can. An occasional game of Scrabble or Words With Friends is harmless too right? It's not like I am doing that hard stuff like Farmville or Crushing Candy. Shoot, I don't even POKE, for crying out loud! ...... OK, OK, so I Bitstrip!! But I made at least one of those cartoons into a Warrior for God witnessing tool!!

Let's be fair. Facebook isn't really evil. It does serve a purpose and it's a good one. It keeps us connected and informed and even entertained.  It allows me to stay connected with my kids and grandkids who live on the other side of the county. None of those things are bad or wrong -- no, on the contrary, they are fabulous and fun and good! But, like all things, it's to be done in MODERATION.  And that is where I was falling down.

Jesus replied: "I am the bread of life, whoever comes to be will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty." John 6.35.  I know that Jesus alone can satisfy the hunger inside of us. But I was using other things to fill me up. Instagram, Twitter, Email, even Blogging was a good portion of my day. But, Facebook was the biggest one.

When I got my smartphone and could install all these cool apps I thought it was pretty sweet. Like I said, I had a bible app-- actually TWO bible apps, and being able to take and post a picture right from my phone was really quite awesome! But, it wasn't long before I was checking my phone every minute that I wasn't doing something else. Then it was checking my phone INSTEAD OF doing something else. It wasn't long before I realized I was addicted.

Something inside of me was empty and I was using social media to try and fill it.

From my Sunday sermon notes: Life is full of counterfeit imitations that promise to fulfill. Our only hope is a fierce hunger for the only ONE who can give us what we need. 

Our pastor reminded us of the people of Moses' time, and the 40 years they wandered in the desert. God gave them a miracle every single day.  He gave them manna to sustain them. But He didn't dole out a week's worth every Sabbath. He supplied it fresh, each day. Just enough for that day.

God is still in the manna supply business. Daily. Just enough for today, because that's all we need. Coming to church on Sunday for a fill up is great but it's not enough. God wants daily connection with us. With me. And I need it so much more than I am sometimes willing to admit.

Another probing question on my sermon notes was this: 'AM I ENOUGH FOR YOU ________?" (The 'fill in the blank' presumably for me to insert my name, as in Jesus asking me "Am I enough for you, Robyn?")
I really want to be able to say that yes, He is.

I realize that Facebook may not be an issue for other people but it was/has certainly gotten in the way of other things for me. As I drove home from church I knew that some changes were in order. I  often have said "God's Book before Facebook" but I sometimes broke that rule, and I knew setting a time limit wasn't going to work for me. I needed something serious. Something severe. Something drastic. I needed to take a Facebook Fast. No Facebook for a set period of time so I could re-prioritize my time. I decided to LOG OFF my Facebook account that very day.

This hasn't proved easy for me. My fingers itched to hit the facebook icon on my phone, so I deleted the icon for now. The burning desire to check in and see what's happening shows me that this break is much needed. But during the first two days I twittered more than I have in months and when I instagram, I hesitate-- do I share this on Facebook or not? Would that be considered cheating? But, I realized that in taking this break, I get to make the rules and it's not about how long I stay away from Facebook or even, really, about staying away in the first place. It's about recognizing Priorities. It's about the condition of my heart. It's about how I go about meeting my needs. Like eating or shopping or gambling or drinking to numb the pain or fill a void, when really, it wont.  Where do I go FIRST when I feel lost .... or lonely... or hurting... or sad... or confused... or bored??? I want with all my heart to be able to honestly say, I go to The One Who Is Worthy. The One who gives Daily Bread so I will never be hungry again.

Hello, my name is Robyn and I am in recovery. 

Life Has Been....

Time keeps on ticking....whether I come to my blog or not!
Honestly, for a girl who was blogging 3-4 times a week, I sure have pulled back. Not on purpose... just life has gotten so busy-- in a good way-- and I actually FORGOT about my blog now and again!!

Life has been....

memory verses and dissecting of scripture = whew!

Busy...
My role as a small group coordinator for our church has had several weeks of ramping up as we launched several awesome studies.  That includes the small group my hubby and I are hosting, and the ladies study I decided to go ahead with. I felt like a match maker some of the time as I paired people up with small group leaders. Then there's the Precepts bible study I am doing with my sister-- which is still kicking my butt big time, but it is paying off as last night in a convo with hubby I stated my position in Christ (as a victor) in a strong and emphatic way that I have not always fully appreciated. So KUDOS for bible study!!

strong coffee and lots of colored pencils required

Satisfying...
The satisfaction from a job well done. Of gaining a better understanding of my position in Christ. Of growing in patience and grace. God has been refining and re-defining me in the last few months I think. I noticed the other day that some of the people who have long been on my EGR list (that's EXTRA GRACE REQUIRED-- a nice way of saying difficult people) while they have not changed (they are still on that list!) it seems I have...   it doesn't take as much effort for me to negotiate time spent with them. In fact, some of the people who I, honestly, tend to avoid, have logged into a place in my heart that astounds me. Amazing what happens when we submit to Christ and say 'there is no way I can love this person in my own strength, but I know you ask me to, so.... will you help me with this Lord?"

Joy Filled...
Our 17th anniversary came and went and we celebrated in a low key but truly fun way. We took a day trip to Port Townsend and Sequim and despite the rain SQUALL we experienced, we also experienced some truly spectacular views, reconnected with a sweet friend and most importantly, enjoyed our quality time together.

the view at Fort Warden, Port Townsend

My sister and I are also making up for lost time by enjoying many play dates together. In addition to taking the Precepts study together, we've been making applesauce, joy riding and building many new memories while laughing hard enough to pee our pants It's been crazy fun but also very fulfilling.

I have to also say how very very much I am loving the women's small group that the Lord directed me to start. It's a nice sized group of some very dear ladies. Just 5 of us each Tuesday morning. We are doing the same study that Bruce and I are doing in our Monday night small group; The Invisible War by Chip Ingram. It's about spiritual warfare and it's got some heavy stuff! But I love these ladies and the conversation is always lively and educational. I have been amazed at the level of transparency we've been able to move to in a relatively short amount of time. It helps that we already knew each other to some degree so it's not like we were starting at ground zero. Still, opening up and sharing is risky and daring and involves trust. I feel honored and humbled that I was asked to do this and that God is blessing me so richly. I guess this is a perk of being obedient to His call.

Level but not quite balanced...
Emotionally, psychologically speaking, as far as the dreaded depression goes, I feel GREAT. My med's are working and I feel leveled out. Life is calm. Life is stable. Life is good. It helps immensely to be on a regular walking regime and having achieved my goal of losing 20+ pounds has gone a long way towards helping me feel better about myself too!

walking every day. rain or shine.

The off-balance comes only in our personal finances as we once again struggle with the ups and downs of paying work for hubby. Self employment always has its drawbacks, the worst of which is too much time spent working for no pay. He has plenty of work lined up now for the rest of the year and most likely into the coming new year but we are still playing serious catch up for the months prior to this when work wasn't so great. It's tough going much of the time but our God is bigger and we are trusting in Him to carry us through.

So, yes, Life has been: An adventure as always. Rewarding. Surprising. Tense and intense. Never boring, never dull. I am grateful to be walking around with my eyes wide open, taking in every drop of sunshine, every drop of rain, embracing life, loving fully, laughing freely and living faithfully. May you be able to do the same.

Whose That Tapping On My Shoulder?

I'm not really sure where to begin, but God's been working in my life and there's a lot of cool stuff going on.

I can't even remember if I blogged about this but I recently took on a role in my church of small group coordinator for our campus. (We are a church with different locations and our "mother" church is large but it's little offspring is flourishing!) My role has ramped up in the last few weeks as school started and a flurry of activities related to Fall and a new school year began.  I have stood up in front of my church for several Sundays in a row and joked, cajoled, sung and even danced, as I talked about the benefits of belonging to a Life (or small ) group. We are launching several awesome studies this month... a class on Boundaries (Townsend  Cloud-- how to set boundaries in your relationships and still be loving) Freedom in Christ (Neil Anderson- being set free from addictions and past baggage) and Building Strong Marriages (Family Life Marriage Builders). It's been exciting and SO rewarding to see some of my favorite people step up into leadership roles and act as facilitators for these classes.

Bruce and I are also getting a new LIFE group rolling this month. We will meet in our home over the next 8 weeks using a curriculum that will mesh well with our new sermon series that kicks off this weekend. We will be taking a closer, deeper look at that awesome passage from Ephesians 6 about putting on the WHOLE ARMOUR OF GOD. I find it really interesting that this is the focus over the next several weeks for a couple of reasons. 1. This is one of my most favorite books in the New Testament and chapter 6 is powerful!! 2. I just this month joined a women's bible study that is, guess what? On the book of Ephesians.

I have to say something about this women's bible study. I have not ever been a very serious student. In school I flew by the seat of my pants and got average grades. Even as an adult doing some post high school classes, I didn't take it super seriously. I was just, so whatever about it. When it came to women's bible studies I was pretty much ho-hum about the whole deal. Did a few and (yawn) they were OK but nothing that ever melted my butter.

I love the small group setting so much more but even in those gathering times, I can't say I ever got all up and at 'em about what we were studying. So it makes it all the more curious that not only did I sign up for a bible study but I chose a inductive study-- one of those dissect each verse and study the who, what, when, where and why out of it. It's a Kay Arthur Precept study which I am quickly learning is like THE BOSS of bible studies. Perhaps the idea of going shopping for colored pencils and cool notebooks and dividers got me pumped, (because I dearly love to LOOK organized) but more likely it was the tantalizing notion of doing this study with my sister. Oh, yes. this is something we have never done together before and it's very cool to be doing it!!

So, here I am all digging in to this new way of reading a bible verse and thinking I am in a good place. All the while in the back of my head is this little thought that has popped up from time to time to time, about me leading a women's bible study of my own AT SOME POINT IN TIME. I was asked to lead one a couple years ago and I gently but firmly declined. It just wasn't the right time for me. But the idea never departed and once in awhile I would think about what I might choose for a study topic. I flirted with the idea out loud a couple of times with some gals from church but that was as far as it went. Today, TODAY,  while having coffee with a new friend, I even dared to tell her that SOME DAY I might like to do a women's bible study. But, I hastened to add that I believed God would tell me when that right time was.

We continued this great conversation as we drank our coffee, touching on several things, all the while circling the theme of going deeper in our relationships with Jesus. I mentioned the Precepts bible study I was doing and the small group Bruce and I were starting and  the topic of that study and....that's when it happened. THE NUDGE. Actually, it was more than a nudge; it was a firm grip on my shoulders and it was as if Jesus was looking right into my eyes as He spoke firmly. "This is the time. You need to lead a daytime study for women using the same stuff you're gonna use for small group."

I think I broke off speaking for a moment and then, in a kind of laughing, shaking voice I told my friend what I thought I was being told. I watched her tear up as I shared and then I knew that was the confirmation I needed. This woman needed this study and I needed to lead it.

I contemplated it as we continued to talk and I said I was going to pray about it and talk it over with my husband but inside my heart was racing and my mind was already making a list and my fingers were dialing numbers to invite other women whom I knew wanted this as well. I knew this was the time and this study on Ephesians and spiritual warfare was the one to pursue. 

There you have it. I am starting this new group next week and God is being very gracious in letting me start small-- very small-- there will only be 3 women plus myself, meeting in my home to do the same study Bruce and I will be doing with our LIFE group. I am being obedient to the call of God.

It is interesting to note that though I take a certain amount of pride in being less than studious, that I like being thought of as a free spirit and even a bit of a rebel now and again, God seems to think this is a time for me to get disciplined and shine. Well, OK, then.

tune in next week when you hear Robyn say.... "WHOSE CRAZY IDEA WAS THIS ANYWAY???"

Remind me of the WHO, will you? ;)