Jesus Loves Me, This I Know

Not just the words to a Sunday School song, this phrase struck me in a brand new way this morning. The deeper meaning came about in a rather unusual way.

First you have to understand that morning is typically not my best time. I'm not a morning person, and today was unusual in that, it's my one day of the week to sleep in. Yet, when Bruce's alarm went off at 5am, (which typically I don't really hear) instead of snuggling deeper under the covers and snoozing, my mental alarm clicked in and BAM! I was awake, I was up and-- gasp-- I was THINKING.  I mean, my brain was actually forming complete thoughts and sentences and they were coherent and thought provoking! This was all BEFORE I'd even made the coffee!

Once the coffee was made, I proceeded to fix a cup for me and one for him. And since Bruce had hit his snooze button and obviously needed some extra motivation, I brought his to him. I watched him struggle to untangle the bed sheets, find his bathrobe and try to connect the coffee mug to his mouth. I took in his morning look-- his hair a twisted sheaf of golden wheat, his eyelids heavy with sleep and his general demeanor clearly stating what a discombobulated state he was in. Lest you think I am being unkind, please know that I fully understand what sort of state I am in, in the mornings. I give you exhibit A as proof:

my typical morning look

Because I know what I look like every morning, and since almost every morning, without fail, I'm still in my robe and slippers or at best, yoga pants and an oversized T, hair not combed, face unwashed, and feeling just as discombobulated, as I send Bruce out the door, it is a marvel to me that he tells me he loves me. That he calls me 'adorable' or 'cute' or, amazingly enough-- 'beautiful'. Really? I mean, REALLY??? 

But here's the thing... As I watched him this morning, this face that I have loved for over 20 years, I was moved beyond words. But I had to put it into words to really get it. 

He finds me beautiful even in my raw state. This 56 year old body, that has born two children, gone through the ups and downs of weight gain and weight loss, numerous injuries and surgeries; this body a road map of stretch marks and scars; this face devoid of make up,with its weathered lines and crows feet more prominent with each passing year... and more than that, this woman who has allowed her husband to see her in all kinds of vulnerable, he finds her beautiful? It must be love. 

And I, who look at him, his body weighed down by the passage of time. The once tight muscles of a younger man, coming up against gravity and slowly losing the battle. Hands that have worked hard to provide. Shoulders that carry the burden of providing for a family, a responsibility that weighs heavily at times. And I look with tenderness and still feel the stirrings of passion for this man, my life partner. This is definitely love. 

And then it hits me... how much more does our Heavenly Father love? God, who knows me so intimately, with all my faults and failures, yet declares me righteous, blameless, without sin, giving me full access to His Kingdom as a heir of Christ. It's hard to take in.

When I look into my husbands eyes and see the love and adoration shining back at me, I am able to catch a glimpse of how he really sees me. When he looks into my eyes he can begin to believe it when I tell him I find him attractive. And that helps me begin to understand the fullness of just how much more Jesus loves me. If Bruce can see past my wild and wooly morning hair, my sometimes cranky, sometimes confused attitude; if he can see me at my worst and still love me as if I'm the best, it gives me a small sample of the overwhelming love that Jesus has for me. 

As Max Lucado puts it, 

“If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning... Face it, friend. He is crazy about you! ”

Greatest Day In History

*The Greatest Day in History

Death is beaten, You have rescued me

Sing it out, Jesus is alive

The empty cross, the empty grave

Life eternal, You have won the day

Shout it out, Jesus is alive

He's alive

Oh, happy day, happy day

You washed my sin away

Oh, happy day, happy day

I'll never be the same

Forever I am changed

Blessings upon Blessings 

this glorious Resurrection Sunday 2015! 

*Tim Hughes - Happy Day Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

it comes in whispers, it comes in shouts

We all have one.
The voice inside our head that tells us things.
You know the one...

you look fat...
he doesn't really love you....
they think you are weird.....
you aren't welcome here...

Sometimes its a subtle little whisper. 
Sometimes it's loud, drowning out the voice of reason.
Sometimes it's an annoying echo in your head, or worse, a damaging dose of poison in your soul.

It sneaks up on you, when you are alone in your room, in front of the mirror. Those pants that looked so good on, in the dressing room mirror don't look as great in the privacy of your own room, where doubts live.

It attacks you in the middle of a party when you see your life partner engaged in conversation with the vivacious hostess.

Insecurities rise up  when you begin to engage in a discussion on biblical truths, insecurities that remind you of your lack of training, your lack of experience and your ridiculous ideas.

Regardless of how much weight you have lost, how many times he has said he adores you, and how hard you studied to prepare, regardless of how many times you have faced this battle and felt victorious, the voice in your head won't stay silent.

The thing we have to understand is that the voice in your head is lying. 

The truth is, the voice in your head isn't your voice--- it's the enemy's and we can choose not to listen.
The truth is, we live in a world fraught with evil. But Jesus has overcome the world.
The truth is our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the powers of the dark world, and against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
And because of Christ, we fight, not for victory but from victory.

A couple of days ago, in my ladies bible study, we began to share some of the lies that prey on us. Those accusations that come from some deep seated insecurity... you are such a bother, you talk too much, you are stupid, you have nothing of value to contribute. 

Even as we shared and joked about these statements that we knew deep down are LIES, it was amazing to realize how much power they often have over us.

All of us gals are at an age where we've become pretty comfortable in our own skin. We've made peace with our shapes and our looks and if the mirror doesn't exactly give off a glowing review of how we look today, we shrug and say "Oh well!" and we go out anyway.

But the lies that attack us in our core, the ones that try to shake our confidence that we have anything of value to offer to the world? Those seem to be harder to shake off.

In this Captivating book study, we've looked at the wounds that have broken our hearts and at the ways in which our Heavenly Father wishes to heal those hurts. We've worked on letting Him have access to the broken places so that healing can take place and we are all making positive steps towards deeper healing. Still, the attacks continue and it is why we are commanded in scripture to Stand Firm and keep on standing firm. Don't back off, don't let down your guard.

It's an process. An ongoing one.

But....
For every whispered lie, Jesus whispers, "You are mine. I love you."
For every loud accusation, Jesus reminds me, "I am with you. You are precious to me."
For every damaging echo in  my soul, He counters it with, " Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name, you are mine."

These reminders, these assurances come in a myriad of ways.... through scripture,books, music, through His creation, and quite possibly through a trusted friend.

Sometimes it come in whispers. Sometimes it come in shouts.

But always, if we will look for it and then listen, the truth comes.

why do I write these things?

Because I have been parked in 2 Corinthians for several days now, Paul's words echo in my brain. It seems these are the words I need these days... reminders about God's Grace and God's Strength. Reminders about doing everything for God's Glory.

In several verses Paul is very clear: he is not writing these things to brag about himself. He isn't writing to make himself look good, or to move his readers to pity for him. He is pointing to Almighty God, to the saving grace of Christ, to the power of the Holy Spirit.

I want to do the same. I don't share about my difficulties to evoke your pity, though I will not rebuke your prayers. I write because partly it is how I cope, how I navigate life and putting words on paper gives me a clarity that just thinking about won't give me. Writing  is therapeutic. Writing truth brings healing.

And I share because I know I am not the only person out there who struggles with the things of this life at some time or another. I write these things so that hopefully someone else will be encouraged.

Life was meant to be shared and true sharing means both the good and the bad.

Being Thankful Day 12

At Dream Realization School (DRS) the other night we were given a hand out that contained the following excerpt from Randy Alcorn's  "Biblical Self-Esteem" article. I found this quite eye opening and will be studying and pondering on the 2nd view, The Christian View for Self Esteem, for some time. I find it is feeding me in a way my self esteem was hungering for. I hope it will encourage you, dear reader, as well.   It is a Truth I am thankful for today!

The Secular Basis for Self-Esteem:

You are the descendant of a tiny cell of primordial protoplasm that washed up on an ocean beach ten billion years ago. You are the blind and arbitrary product of time, chance and natural forces. Your closest living relatives swing from trees and eat crackers at the zoo.

You are a mere grab-bag of atomic particles, a conglomeration of genetic substance. You exist on a tiny planet in a minute solar system in an obscure galaxy in a remote and empty corner of a vast, cold, and meaningless universe. You are flying through lifeless space with no purpose, no direction, no control, and no destiny but final destruction.

You are a purely biological entity, different only in degree but not in kind from a microbe, virus or amoeba. You have no essence beyond your body, and at death you will cease to exist entirely. What little life you do have is confined to a fragile body aimlessly moving through a world plagued by war, famine and disease. The only question is whether the world will manage to blow itself up before your brief and pointless life ends on its own.

In short, you came from nothing, you are going nowhere, and you will end your brief cosmic journey beneath six feet of dirt, where all that is you will become food for bacteria and rot with worms.

(ouch! how thankful I am for the following TRUTH !!)


The Christian Basis for Self-Esteem:

You are a special creation of a good and all powerful God. You are the climax of his creation, the magnum opus of the greatest artist in the universe. You are created in His image, with capacities to think, feel, and worship that set you above all other life forms. You differ from the animals not simply in degree, but in kind.

Not only is your kind unique, but you are unique among your kind. God has masterminded the exact combination of DNA and chromosomes that constitute your genetic code, making you as different from all others as every snowflake differs from the rest.

Yes, you are sinners, and in and of yourselves you do not deserve to go to heaven. But despite your rebellion, your Creator loved you so much and so intensely desires your companionship and affection that he gave the life of his only Son that you might spend eternity with him. If you are willing to accept the free gift of salvation, you can become a child of God, the King of the universe.

As a Christian, you are clothed with the righteousness of Christ. He has given you special gifts and abilities to serve him in a particular and unique way.

Your heavenly Father is sovereign, and will allow nothing to cross your path that is not Father-filtered. He cares for you so much that He is totally available to you at all times, and listens to every word you say. He cares deeply about your hurts, and has a perfect plan for your life. He has given you the inspired Word of God as a road-map for living. He gives you the truth that sets you free, a life that is abundant and eternal, and a spiritual family that loves and needs you.

Your destiny is to live forever in a magnificent kingdom, to reign with Christ over the universe. You will forever enjoy the wonders of his presence and the marvels of his creations. You will spend eternity in intimate and joyful fellowship with your beloved Lord and your precious spiritual family.

***

learning to see myself thru' God's eyes.

What a difference standing in our biblical identities makes in our lives and relationships! I am free to live for HIM, not to validate my worth by achievements, affirmation or accumulating things.  I am who I am by God's Grace and Grace alone!!