Family

Tomorrow my grandson arrives!

 Kristjian and me in January when I went to Pensacola

This would be my second grandson in my daughter's family. He is 13 and he is coming to spend 3 weeks with grandma and grandpa!!. And yes, we are excited!!!

I have a ton of stuff planned but allowing for some down times (because Grandma will need a break now and then). Included in the plans is a week at Tall Timber Ranch for Jr High Camp. I'm going along and working in the kitchen that week so I can be a part of his experience.

My brother and sister-in-love are also back in town for a month long visit. Yippee! Family get togethers!

My husband is working like mad, at his regular job and also overseeing a project for a friends newest resteraunt. So it's been a little stressful at times and we haven't had much time to just chill but we have plans for a weekend get away the end of July.

Summer is wonderful! Sunshine, family, lots to do and see. I feel happy, full and blessed.

Hope you are finding things that bless you as well.

Life Is A Treasure

I just spent a week in Pensacola visiting my daughter and family.It was a long overdue visit (over 4 years) but trips to the other side of the country are not easy to come by. When my daughter and I hatched the idea for me to visit it was back in September and I had no idea how I'd pull it off. But God did. Shortly after I set a visit date of January 2016, I was offered the part time job at Family Christian Store. It was an answer to prayer. Still, it took awhile to save enough funds for the trip, because as soon as I started saving other things came up. Things like a major car repair, an unexpected medical expense, a higher than normal electric bill. In other words, life. Funny how that happens. Still, by Christmas I had the money to buy the airplane ticket.

We had some grand plans at first. A trip to Atlanta Georgia to attend a Women of Faith Conference. A side trip to Alabama to see my son. As the date got closer and reality set in we had to trim things back and then I got an upper respiratory infection that almost made me postpone the trip. It was with a resigned spirit that I boarded the plane last Wednesday. I say resigned because I really was disappointed that the WOF Conf wasn't happening. A visit to my son was probably not possible either and while the Rx was kicking in, I still felt exhausted and wimpy due to all the coughing and sniffling. And did i mention I had laryngitis? But as the plane carried me through the air I thought about how blessed I was to take this trip at all. The whole purpose of the visit was to spend time with my girl. It didn't matter what we did, just that we did it together. As for the laryngitis, didn't God give me the word "listen" for the year? Well, I'm still chuckling over that one because with a raspy voice it was certainly easier for me to let my daughter and grandkids do all the talking while I sat back and just listened!

The week went incredible fast, as vacations are always prone to do. I saw where my daughter works, met some of her co-workers and friends, surprised my granddaughter at school by showing up for lunch, met my oldest grandson's 'friend-girl' (not girlfriend he says) got reacquainted with my step-grands, watched my grandchildren play, took them on a field trip, went to the beach (in spite of very cool temperatures and threatening skies) and went clothes shopping with my girl. In between, we just enjoyed each others company, shared secrets, laughed, cried, and laughed some more.

My grandkids are growing much too fast! The boys are taller than me! Their voices have changed. There's facial hair!! My granddaughter is wearing a bra! In less than 2 years the oldest will be 18 and graduating. For crying out loud! Stop!!

 Life goes on, whether you are watching carefully or not. I've been home for just a couple of days and as always, in retrospect I think of all the things I had wanted to do but didn't. But I look at the pictures of all the things we did do and I recall the conversations that took place and the memories we made. There will be more trips. We'll fly the kids up for visits over the next few summers. We'll skype and text and facebook. It's not the same as having them down the street just 10 minutes away but this is life. It's not perfect but I'll treasure it.

this week

This week I'm a grandma.

Not a blogger.
Not an unemployed woman of leisure.
Not a busy church volunteer.
Not random or worried or frazzled.
Just a grandma.

A grandma who sits and listens.
and listens... because this boy likes to talk!
A grandma who asks questions
and gets all kinds of very interesting answers.
maybe more than I wanted to know, because, this boy really, really likes to talk. (and he knows a lot about a lot of stuff!)
A grandma who gets to see the world through his eyes for a change.

examining a very cool pencil that looks like a tree branch

I'm a grandma who bakes muffins so he can lick the bowl and the beater.
I'm a grandma who snaps pictures while he's eating ice cream.
or napping.
or mowing the lawn.

willingly mowing the lawn. such a hard worker.

A grandma who loves seeing her grandson spending time with his grandpa.

learning about power tools.

This week I'm a grandma on a mission: To build  a ton of memories as we embark on new adventures together.

visiting at a friends house and getting to drive the 4 wheeler.

This week is about reconnecting. Showing him his family roots. Seeing family members who are part of his heritage. Pointing out history (that's the school I went to and so did your mom. there's the house your mom lived in as a child. this is where MY grandma lived!)

there is a picture of my dad standing in front of this tree-- before it was moved to this rest area. I have a picture of me in front of this tree too. 

This week will go much to quickly and it might be a whirlwind. Visiting people. Camping. Going to the Fair.
Those memory building adventures taking precedent over everything else.

Because this week.... I'm a grandma.

happy grandma. blessed grandma.

Our Grandson Is Coming to Visit!

Zaccari, our 14 year old grandson, our first born grandchild, is coming from Florida to visit for a week! He arrives today. We have lots of fun activities planned from camping to going to the fair to just hanging out. Making memories, that's what the next several days are all about!

it's someones birthday

9 years ago today a little girl was born. I met her for the first, and since then, only time, when she was just 7 weeks old. I met her big sister then too, for the first time. I spent 5 precious days soaking up as much cuddles and kisses as I possibly could, not knowing when I might ever have the chance to do this again.
I have not seen these two little girls since and due to circumstances beyond my control, have no way to contact them. I am their grandma but they don't know me.

I don't write a lot, if ever, about the relationship -- or more accurately, the lack of one, that exists between me and my son. He will be 35 this year and it's been 3 years since we last spoke. He was just 13 when I packed up what was left of my spirit and escaped the nightmare that my first marriage has become. My daughter was 10 and she went with me but my son... my son refused. And I didn't push for it. I had no idea where I was going, how I was going to survive or  what the next moment held and I was too fragile to take care of myself, let alone my children. Thankfully good people came along side of me and gave me the strength and confidence I needed to make it through the painful process of establishing safe living arrangements. I counted myself lucky that I had escaped and I was grateful that my little girl was with me. I figured I would be able to bring my son to join us as soon as I was more settled and could convince him that he belonged with me. But he was never convinced. He bought into all his fathers lies and deception and the next several years were full of pain and separation. There were long periods of time-- months that became years, where I didn't know where he was living, what he was doing. I would hear fragments about his life via his sister or other family members... once in awhile our paths would actually cross... but the relationship was broken. Communication was basically nil. Too much time would pass between seeing each other and conversations were always surface based and fringed with animosity (him) and anxiety (me)

Mother's Day was for a very very long time, a great source of pain to me. It's gotten so much better in recent years as the relationship with my daughter has seen much healing and growth. There was even a period of time about 10 years ago when things seemed to be on the mend between my son and I. During that time of seeming stability was when I met my two little granddaughters for the first--- and only-- time. Just a few short years later the marriage between my son and his wife ended and not long after that my son broke off communication with me.... and it has been that way ever since. I learned later that my son lost his parental rights to the girls. Right now I do not know where my grandchildren live or how to contact them or their mother.

I entertain thoughts however, from hiring a detective to find them, and going to see them,  to opening my door some day to find these little blond haired beauties on my front porch saying "hello gramma" in a sweet southern drawl, "we've come to live with you." .... fantasies. little dreams..... sometimes they make me smile and give me hope. other times they just cause my heart to splinter a little bit more.

today is the youngest ones birthday. happy birthday Silver Noelle. This grandma loves you. May you be blessed.

from 2009, sisters Silver and Summer

kodachrome autumn

 TOMATOES FRESH FROM MY LITTLE GARDEN

 AN AMAZING AND RATHER MYSTERIOUS LATE AFTERNOON SKY

MY FAVORITE 'VEGETABLE' 

CLEAN WOOD STOVE~~ 

READY FOR A FIRE BUT NOT QUITE COLD ENOUGH TO WARRANT IT... 

BUT HAVING A CANDLE BURNING THERE MAKES IT FEEL EVER SO COZY

AN AFTERNOON IN THE PARK... PLAYING IN THE LEAVES 

Grandson Bennett is walking!! 

Don't you just love his orange rugby shirt and his little knit hat? 

out of sync

It's hard to get back in your grove after a vacation. 

Really hard if you can't find your grove to get back into it!

exploring on of the historic residential streets of Pensacola. 

I suppose juggling the emotions of saying good bye and not knowing when I will see my kiddos again combined with traveling adventures, lack of real sleep or real food, then a memorial service to attend, has something to do with it but the icing on the cake for not being able to find my way is probably related to the outbreak of HIVES I have been dealing with since Sat. evening.

I stepped -- accidently of course, I would never step on one on purpose-- a small ant hill Sunday before last and was bit several times by some angry little guys-- that turned out to be Fire Ants. I know now why they are called fire ants because my foot felt like it was on fire!! I ended up with 5 or 6 bites across the top of my foot, which thankfully, once we washed it up and applied some topical medicines, stopped the pain. The next morning however every bite spot was marked by little white dots. Yes, like a pimple. But it's really dead tissue and you best leave it alone to flatten out on it's own. I was relieved to not have pain or itching which I had been expecting. Then on Wed. when we explored the Fort (Fort Pickens out by Pensacola Beach) I got bit AGAIN by some small ants that we jokingly nicknamed Charcoal Ants because they didn't make my foot  feel like it was on fire, just an annoying little sting which quickly dissipated.

or so I thought.


The arrival in Seattle late Thursday Night-- or more correctly EARLY Friday Morning, did two things to me. 1) the emotions of the past 2 weeks rose up and overwhelmed me and I had to fight to stay calm, think clearly and not completely fall apart over the separation from my kids. and 2) the swelling in my ankles turned out to not be totally related to the plane ride. And then it started itching.


By Sat afternoon as the memorial reception was starting to wind down and I was collecting Mom and my things I realized just how very very itchy my ankle and foot felt. By the time I got home the itching was spreading to random spots over my legs... then my arms, my face! I thought fleas! I thought food reaction! I thought what the ??? It just got worse and suffice it to say I didn't sleep much Sat. night, getting up twice for benadryl and cortisone cream. (the latter by the way does not work well as an antihistamine) I suffered through Sunday with more outbreaks and did my research on google trying to identify what was really going on.


And you know what? It may be an allergic reaction to Fire Ant bites and I did go to see the Doctor today and got an Rx for prednisone which is already bringing relief, but I also think this strong reaction may have been intensified by STRESS.

I know I am stressed when I would rather take an entire post to talk about my Ant Bites instead of what is REALLY bothering me. How did I manage for FOUR YEARS with out seeing those sweet precious kids? And when will I see them again? They have grown  SO MUCH!

Zac at 13 ( family readers, doesn't he look like his uncle Josh??

 I have a teenage grandson for heavens sake! 

The middle one is still my snuggle-bug but also has a real impish streak (which I love) 

The youngest one was talking before they left but it was a jumble of words and now, let me tell you, she can boss, direct, challenge and imagine with the best of 'em! 

We took the teenager out for lunch with us one day for some special one-on-one (or one-on-two) time and another day just driving around exploring things. He wanted to come back with us (to WA)  so bad and we would love to have that happen. We're going to plan for next summer for sure as I don't think any of us are in a position to make it happen this year. Zac talked about all the birthday adventures we did with him when they still lived here. (we didn't buy birthday gifts, instead we took each grandchild on an adventure, building memories instead) He remembers each one and recalls in great detail his favorite adventure of all. He said with such longing in his voice how much he misses those. I am glad we were able to have adventures with him while we were there. I hope it stands out in his memory as well as the other ones.

enthralled by Grandpa's "Scary Story"!

the last night at our motel we had a sleep over with Faith and Kristjian. They were super excited and i didn't think we'd ever get them to sleep. of course rough housing with Grandpa followed by SCARY STORIES didn't help settle them down! But finally, lullabys (you are my sunshine, of course) and bedtime prayers and then they were out cold!

and then there's the 2 NEW grandsons....  who stole our hearts quickly and made saying good bye 2 x more harder.

So, if I'm a little lost and a little stressed, so be it. I know I will find my way back but I'm gonna allow myself as much time as it takes. If I need to cry a little (or a lot) and suffer pangs of kid-withdrawal, and check my grandkids and daughters facebook pages repeatedly or text or skype or call.... I will.


And, I will begin planning (and saving)  for the NEXT TRIP. (did I just hear my husband gulp?)

too much joy to write about

every day has been an adventure.... and I thought I would be able to keep up with my blog but there's just been too much going on!

Hanging out at the house
watching it rain.
a lot.
a parade.
day trip for just Bruce and I.
more rain.
and thunderstorms. of epic proportions.
really. big. thunder.
more hanging out.
playing games.
make overs and manicures.
cooking dinner.
church.
reconnecting with family and friends.
walking around the neighborhood.
motel mix ups and miscommunications.
Naval Aviation Museum!
Watching the Blue Angels practice their tricky maneuvers.
Perdido Kid's Park. Picnic lunches.
Perdido Keys Beach!
Swimming in the Ocean.... the gulf of Mexico.
finding Starbucks!
sunburns. sand. sunsets.
kisses. hugs. snuggles. 
and pictures. always lots of pictures.

Faith asked me today why I take so many pictures. I said when I go home I will be able to pour over these pictures and remember each moment and it will help me not to miss her and her brothers so much.

the pictures will be fun to look at it but when i said it would help me not miss them, I knew that was a lie. We have just 2 full days left and I don't know how we'll say good bye.

best day ever

an all night flight
so little sleep
instantly revived at the sight of three eager children, and their momma
waiting at the exit of the airport gate.
who to hug first?
correct answer: all of them!
Oh for bigger arms.

Kristjian, 9 years

Zaccari age 13

Faith, age 7

Just for Fun

We made it through another week! Bruce survived the gunshot wound to his knee (nail gun) and kept his job. I survived looking after him, and keeping things humming. Yay God!
He is still a little gimpy with the stiff knee and will continue his antibiotics but he's doing good. He reports to work Monday in the office to continue the work they assigned him (to do at home) of putting an estimate together on an upcoming project.

We're having a get together with dear friends tonight. 2 couples we were in a small group with for a long long time. One of the couples are missionaries, home on furlough from Honduras. Quite unintentionally the get together is falling on St. Patrick's Day but I decided to have a green theme for dinner!

In addition to a GREEN Salad, I am making the cauliflower pizza crust for dinner with PESTO SAUCE and grilled chicken, ARTICHOKES, GREEN PEPPERS and other yummy toppings. SPINACH DIP for the chips, LIME JELLO with shredded BROCCOLI slaw mix and while I didn't find GREEN BEER, I DID find Hard Cider made from Granny Smith apples which everyone knows are GREEN!! for dessert there are brownies with..... MINT ice cream, (provided the Quick Stop next door has it in stock-- I forgot to get some when I stopped for pesto sauce)
All for fun of course!!

Even more fun is the news that I WON a give away on this awesomely shiny blog. I am going to receive a CD from A Fine Pair of Misfits which is the self titled first album of her daughter and son-in-law. Very talented sweet couple and I have seen them perform in public and enjoyed all their fine songs.

it's been a good week. and then.....  to top things off..... We got these adorable pictures  of our youngest grandchild just in time for St. Paddy's Day. Too Cute!!

Big Bennett Burke looking flashy in his fine bowtie and special glasses.

this one is my favorite!

you think maybe he knows just how cute he is?

happy St. Patricks Day!

in spite of it all

I did get to attend the princess party of my soon-to-be-7 year old granddaughter this afternoon. Faith lives in Pensacola Florida and I am grateful today for the wonders of skype that made it possible to be present at her party. I was able to sing along with everyone as she blew out the candles on her cake, able to compliment her on her beautiful princess dress and tiara and laugh at the boys who wanting in on all the fun dressed up in princess garb as well. Hilarious!!

Princess Faith in her pretty purple princess dress

the 'princess' in a pink wig is actually a prince-- my grandson Kristjian, age 9, who was really into the whole princess theme. gotta love it!!

happy birthday Faith Ahna Star!

Baby, Baby...

mommy & daddy Corrie and Joey, grandpa & grandma Bruce and Robyn, Great Grandma Ruth with Baby Bennett

amazing little (big!) feet

is there anything sweeter than a baby's face?

3 Generations

Grandpa holding Bennett for the 1st time

Grandma gets a turn

it's a BOY!

That's right~~ we're excited!!

This is Joey just before they took Corrie in for her C-section...

after hours and hours of labor..... (I spared her of any picture taking)

 Introducing baby Bennett!! 

born at 7:20 am 8/20/11

 9 lbs 1 oz 

22 inches long!

Daddy and Mommy doing great-- exhausted of course but happy~~happy~~joy~~joy!

Thank you Heavenly Father for safe delivery and for this sweet blessing in our lives.

We kept the visit brief to allow them recovery time and bonding time 

for just the 3 of them.

We'll be back there tomorrow... I know this grandma and grandpa are aching to hold him!

in the Wee Small Hours of the Morning...

At 4 a.m. the phone rings, slicing through a dense fog of sleep. Because we've been anticipating a call for the last few days, it doesn't take much to make it register and in one seamless leap, I am out of bed and snatching the phone up in my hand.

The deep sleepy voice of my step-son carries just a tremor of excitement overlaid with deep calm. He has always been able to keep his cool. "Her water just broke. Things are happening."

Due Date was the 15th but it is a well known fact that Burkes are always late. But worth the wait, we like to say. So as we wait this day for more news, we know it is all going to be worth it when we meet our newest grandbaby for the first time.