The Frugal Housewife

Sounds like a great title for a new blog doesn't it? But, nope, no plans to go in that direction any time soon. Its just that I've been working hard the past few weeks to find ways to trim our household budget and guess what? It's paying off!


Life is becoming decidedly different with my husband now working for someone as opposed to being self employed. For one thing, it's a whole different mind-set. He knows all about BUYING construction materials and he is very skilled at turning those materials into beautiful abodes but now he's on the other side of the counter, selling! It's different and challenging and stretching him every day but he is enjoying it. The work environment is a pleasant one, even while fast paced and demanding. All in all he is slowly but surely finding his niche and settling in.

The other very different part is something we've never really had in all the years we've been together: regular paychecks! There is something to be said for knowing exactly how much you will receive every 2 weeks. I can actually build a budget that works! In self employment it was always a roller coaster cash flow. Some months we had just enough, some months there was more than enough. But more often than not, the months were much too lean to support us in a healthy way. It's a huge blessing and large burden lifted to be living a life that has a more of a flat surface as opposed to the roller coaster ride!

As I laid out our budget however, I could see that there were things that needed to be adjusted. No more getting by on 'a wing and a prayer' (although to be clear, prayer will never depart from our life) Now with income clearly defined we could see our overhead needed to be lowered. So, I got busy and started doing my homework.... What could we do without? What could we change?

I began with researching cell phone providers. While totally satisfied with the service we have had for many years, I just wanted to see if I could find another plan that would help trim the budget. After several false leads and one attempt to 'jump ship' I learned my lesson: Cheap does not equal quality. But asking for something can bring positive results. My cell provider made an adjustment on our monthly service plan that lowers our bill by $40 a month. Same excellent service, same excellent cell phone plan.

It pays to ask!

Next, I shopped insurance. I have learned it always saves to bundle home and auto and while I thought that 15 minutes could save me more, I learned that's not always true. I found auto insurance that not only offers me a better coverage package, it's costing me about 40% less! That's another $40 in my pocket. Yeehaw!

It pays to ask!

Feeling encouraged and brave, I decided to tackle our home internet. We seriously considered whether we could live without internet (it was a scary thought, honestly!) but communication via email, and other online services has become so deeply integrated in our lives, it makes it difficult to not have it. Living in a rural area can also limit the services available so it didn't seem there was much of a choice here but after a tip from my neighbor, I called our internet provider.

We've always had internet through our phone line and we had to have a land line in order to have internet. I learned this wasn't true anymore for our area and made the decision to cut the land line out! That's a little scary too because it's good to have a land line in case your cell service goes bonkers but since I've never had any interruption in my cell coverage here at home in all the years we've had it, it seemed a safe risk. So... bye-bye land line.... and hello internet adjustment. Bazinga! I just lowered my internet with a monthly savings of about $25 a month!

It pays to ask!

I already shop bargain foods and thrift/consignment store clothing. We rarely eat out, movies are whatever we can rent from the local library. We heat with wood and we carpool when ever possible.

 I gave up coloring my hair because I just could not afford it and discovered that the frumpy gray strands were looking much more like silver, which, by golly, I think I like!

 I don't know that I can trim much more off the budget but I am thankful for what I've been able to do so far.

When Bruce decided to take this job we talked about the pros and cons of leaving self employment and going to work for someone else. And despite the pros of that steady paycheck, the con was that it does pay less than what he earns when he is self employed. But we knew without a doubt that God had orchestrated this job. And God knows our needs. He knew what the job paid and what our budget said we needed. We had to move forward in faith, believing that God was either going to fill in the gaps or show us ways to get by on less. He's done both in the last several weeks.



We asked God to show us the way and He has. Yes, oh yes indeed, it pays to ask! 

Answered Prayer; A Healing Touch

"God is seldom early, but He is never late" ~

 Terry "Mateo" Mattson

I believe in the power of prayer. I am never reluctant to ask someone to pray for me when I am in need, nor am I likely to withhold a prayer for someone else who needs it.  This morning was one of those times where the need for healing prayer was my desperate request.

 I was singing on the Worship Team at our church this morning and in the middle of rehearsal something awful happened. I couldn't open my mouth all the way without experiencing shooting pain through my jaw! Now, it's a little hard to sing if you can't open your mouth, and I'm not trying to be funny. Some notes require a more mouth action than others and as I continued singing along, I found my jaw stubbornly and painfully refusing to cooperate. This was not good! 

I have had TMJ (temporomandibular joint disorder) episodes a few times over the years but is has been a long time since it's caused my jaw to lock or refuse to open wider than needed. When rehearsal was done, several of us gathered, as we do every Sunday morning before service, to pray. I made my plea for prayer for myself and explained the reason. My church family quickly gathered around me and prayed specifically for a healing touch, in order that I could sing.  

I didn't feel anything in that moment, nothing to indicate to me that healing had occurred. In fact the pain was still present and my jaw still stubbornly refusing to cooperate. But I was confident. I believed that God could and would take care of this for me. I really felt like I could handle this little painful episode; I just wanted to be able to open my mouth during singing in order to really make the joyful noise I'd been recruited for!  

Our leader for our Worship Team asked me if I was going to be okay and I nodded emphatically and told her I believed God would give me the ability to do what I needed to do, just when I needed it. 

Guess what? HE DID. 

We went into our worship set and I was able to open my mouth, to sing from my heart and there was no pain in my jaw. It cooperated beautifully. 

When we finished singing and I went to find my seat, I experimented a little by forcing some "yawn" action. OOooOh! Pain! And a limited amount of movement. Just as it had happened during rehearsal. 

I was actually somewhat amused that the pain and lack of mobility had departed just long enough to do what had been asked of me that morning. I mean, we did pray specifically for me to be able to sing and sing well and without pain! At the end of the service when we went back up for one last song I grabbed my mic with confidence that I would once again be able to do my part. 

Yep. No problem. 

After church we had potluck and I found it difficult to eat as once again the jaw was being stiff. but I was happy to report to those who had prayed for me that our prayers had been answered! 

As the day went on I did find the pain slowly subsiding and the ability to open my jaw returning.

In my lifetime I have witnessed and experienced God working in our lives.I have learned that He can do things in an instance and He can do things over a period of time. I don't understand it, but I believe that His timing is perfect and there is a reason only He knows as to why things happen the way they do. I don't understand it but I guess that's not my job. My job is to trust.  

(p.s. as an added bonus, this healing prayer episode seems to have also served as a breakthrough in a case of writer's block that's been plaguing me for a few weeks. So, Yay God!! Thank you!!)

When No Becomes Yes

If you read my post on  Divine Appointments and then the follow up Handling Disappointments, about the whole job opportunity for my sweetie that didn't come to pass, this may be of special interest to you.

When the "divine appointment" happened, we clearly could see it was a God-orchestrated thing. And then, after the interview, when they called and said "sorry, but not at this time", we trusted there was still a lesson in all of it and we'd just roll with it.

Then, last week a couple of things happened.

First, a little out of the blue, Bruce was offered a part time-short term position with our church helping assess a maintenance position that needed to be filled. He thought that sounded rather interesting and said sure, why not.

On the heels of this, another call came in and.... yep, the job that didn't happen was now calling back asking was he still interested? (Apparently, the first person they offered the position to, didn't work out.) Short story is, he will start working full time for the building supply company in March!

(Insert insanely happy dancing and yippy-ki-yaying here)

Our take on this is that given the way the job came to his attention in the first place (with a little bit of shock) and considering the internal struggle he has wrestled with,(is this really what I want to do?)  God was just giving him more time to think on it. And to flex that ol' trust muscle a little more. The interim position with our church is also an interesting piece of the pie and I am sure the next 30 days will prove to be greatly beneficial in ways we are yet to discover.

It humbles me and scares me at the same time. One thing I am learning over and over again is that when we choose to be Christ followers, we allow God to be in control. The journey with God is best enjoyed when we let Him choose the vehicle that will transport us from one adventure to the next. The best thing I can do is get in, buckle up and let God drive. When I let God have His way with me, I experience that Peace that Passes Understanding, for which there is no comparison.

This new job for Bruce is going to be an adventure for sure. Thirty-some years ago, God led him into construction, kicking and screaming, and then he discovered how well suited he was for it. We're trusting that God's leading into a different realm of the construction world is just as big a part of God's plan for our lives as it always has been.

Divine Appointments

I wasn't going to write about this until I knew what the outcome was going to be. I was convicted however, by the reminder that no matter how this turns out, it's still God who is in control. God, who knows what's best.

Last week as I perused the classifieds a job posting caught my eye. I mentioned it to Bruce as a possibility for him. He was intrigued enough for me to send him the listing to examine for himself. While the job was definitely within his realm of interest and skill set, he was a little iffy about pursuing it as it would take him out of active home building and design, something he still really loves to do. Still, a job is a job and with our roller coaster economic situation all opportunities need to be explored and considered.

A couple of days later he had business to attend to at the place that was advertising for help. As he parked his truck he decided, for various reasons, to not ask about the job. He tends to be a bit of a "fleece thrower" and he just wasn't sure this position was a direction God was taking him. As he stood in the parking lot one of the guys who works there, a guy who Bruce deals with almost exclusively for all his material orders for construction jobs, came out to greet him. This wasn't strange really, but still, a little unusual. J. told Bruce he had a couple of things he wanted to Bruce to know. First, he told Bruce, he was retiring. (Ah, the reason for the job opening) That made Bruce a little sad as he really trusts J. and enjoys doing business with him. The second thing, J. pressed on, was he had already given his boss Bruce's name as a candidate to replace him. 

You can imagine the shock that rippled through Bruce at that moment but he maintained composure and a lengthy conversation ensued. This was followed by a chat with the manager of the store. While nothing was settled by these discussions, Bruce left there with his head spinning slightly. He certainly recognized this was not a coincidence by any means. In fact he knew this could only be a God-orchestrated moment and he felt obliged to follow through on this as far as he could.

You can probably also imagine the reaction he got from me when he got home and shared all of this with me. While I TRIED to maintain a neutral expression and refrain from telling him what to do, my body language CLEARLY told him anyway. We had quite a conversation about the possibilities and what to do next. Then, putting it into prayer and the Lord's hands, we tabled it.

The next morning he was called and invited to come in for an interview. On Monday he had the interview. It went well but he had no real sense of what they might be thinking. There were of course, several other applicants to meet with. But we should hear something by the end of this week. Until then, while I am anxious for a decision, I am also watching Bruce wrestle with this:  What is God calling me to do? Is He calling me out of construction after clearly leading me into it 30 some years ago? If I don't get the job what should the take away be from the way this opportunity was crafted?
Other questions like: am I ready to walk away from home building and instead be supplying materials to other home builders? I've been looking for work but the opportunities are slim. My body can't keep up with the physical demands of construction; I need to be using my administrative and managerial skills and let the younger guys do the physical stuff.  

And so on. It's not easy when you've been self employed for over 30 years to lay that down in exchange for being an employee. Even when that means steady income and somewhat less stress.

Sigh. I'm watching and praying.

Experiencing the Divine Appointment of last week has reminded me just how much God is involved in the minute moments of our lives. That verse about knowing the numbers of hairs on our head and if He cares about the sparrow, how much more He cares about us?* It's true and this was driven home so clearly for me this past week. I am having my own wrestling match with my thoughts that range from how clearly this IS a God- moment and how I believe that Bruce will get the job and life will settle down and be somewhat calmer, to preparing myself for him to not get the job-- or worse, he's offered the job and feels led to say no-- in which case I have a friend lined up to help me hide the body--(JUST KIDDING)  but through it all, remembering that God knows the plans for us... plans for good and not to harm us, plans to give us a future and a hope.**

Knowing, and believing, WHO is really in control, is keeping me sane.

* Matthew 10.29-30
** Jeremiah 29.11

Peace, Peace, Perfect Peace

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about peace. 

Um, no. Not that kind.

It's the kind of peace Jesus talks about when He said not to be troubled or fearful. The kind of peace he promised when He said ..."the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give." (John 14.27)

I know there are times when I am guilty of approaching God like a vending machine/genie. "I need/I want..." I also recognize there are times when my approach is deep, no frivolity attached. Still, I always come away from the prayer time with something I cannot measure. Peace. 

Over the years, many of my prayer requests have not been answered exactly as I asked. People with illness have not been healed, (at least not here on earth.) Reconciliations, forgiveness, important life changes, have yet to take place. Requests for a myriad of things have not been honored according to the way I envisioned, or wanted. Sometimes even the things I have prayed for, things I truly felt I needed have not come to pass. 

It can make me wonder if I'm doing it wrong. It can make me question if God is listening to me. To be completely honest....it can even make me feel I might be... wasting my time. 

Hmmm...

In Philippians 4. 6-7 we're told, "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

Nowhere in this verse does it promise to answer my requests. 

Yet, God DOES want us to come to Him with the burdens on our heart, the things that we'd otherwise fret about. But He never says, “Tell me what you need so I can fulfill it." No, He says tell me what you need and give me praise for what I have already done. THEN, you will... what? Receive all you asked for? Um, nope. It says then you will experience God's Peace... which is like nothing you can comprehend. Peace that transcends understanding. Peace that goes beyond the range of limits! 

God does command us to pray. If we want to be obedient to His will, then prayer is an important part of that. I am blown away by the fact that we are also invited into conversation with Him. He wants to partner with us! And not just so we can dash in for prayer as if He's a 7-11 Jesus, grabbing the things we need (safety for my husband on the job, healing for all those people on my list-- you know who they are Lord, and please make things go smoothly for my friends who are struggling...) 

He longs for us to come into intimate relationship with Him, spending time communicating, and communing with Him. Could the point of prayer be then not so much about seeking His power as it is about seeking His presence?

I am reminded of  that wonderful, tender hymn "Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His Glory and Grace."

Time spent in the Presence of our Holy God is life changing. Regardless of our circumstances, and regardless of the outcome of our prayer request, the time we spend gazing on His face, soaking in His presence, THAT is what prayer is designed for. 

Advancing for the Kingdom (part 2)

We retreated so we could advance.

Our overnight retreat was truly a time for connecting. Connecting with one another as a small group. Connecting with ourselves as we pulled away, just for a few hours, from the hustle-bustle of our busy lives. Connecting with God in an intimate, unhurried way. 

Saturday Morning found me out on a new road for my morning walk. I have driven this road any number of times but it takes on a much different flavor when you walk it. I had a couple of hours to myself before we would gather again as a group for our next session and I made the most of it. As I marched along, breathing in the unmistakable aroma of  "Dairy Air", I couldn't help grinning. 

I had slept deep the night before, which is unusual for me on any night, and especially so in a strange bed. But I was filled with a deep sense of peace and joy stemming from the time of prayer the night before and the joy that was carrying me down that country road that morning almost had me running. 

Because I am no stranger to those times of dryness in my prayer life, I know that it is never God who moves away from me. No, it is I who move. I go in my own direction and do my own thing and it isn't long before the Voice of the Holy Spirit gets muted in favor of my own voice, or the voice of the world. 

Later that day I will share with the group how God moved in me during our Friday night prayer time, and I know they will rejoice with me but for right now, I am tackling hills and valleys on this country road, thrilling at the clouds and tree blossoms and cheerful daffodils blooming in random places. 

We Retreated So We Could Advance (part 1)

The Time: this past weekend.
The Place: Cedar Springs Christian Retreat Center
The Reason: a prayer and planning session for our church.
The People: a small group of leaders from our church family.

Setting the Scene
Friday Night. We've picked our rooms for the night, gotten settled in and enjoyed a tasty hot meal together, and have now circled the wagons in the living room of the cozy A-frame cabin we've rented for the weekend. A fire crackles in the hearth of the massive fireplace, a fresh pot of aromatic coffee brews in the kitchen and the bowl of trail mix and chocolate circulates the room. Soft praise music plays in the background and our view from the window offers us entertainment as squirrels scamper across the lawn and further out a small pond is busy with the flurry of geese claiming territory. We wait expectantly for our leader, our pastor, to set the tone for this evenings discussion.

We are 4 couples who serve in various capacities of leadership in our church. We now gather at least quarterly for planning and prayer, encouragement and accountability, to each other and to the people we serve. This is our first overnight together and it will allow us an extended time of fellowship and relaxation as we review where we've been and look ahead to our future. I think we are all curious as to what this weekend really holds in store for us.

Our evening session is productive. We listen to an audio clip from an Andy Stanley program, about how we spend our time. It is both convicting and encouraging. We spend some time discussing this as a group and then paired up with our spouse, in the privacy of our rooms, spend time praying. We come back together a little while later, as a group, to move into a time of intentional, focused prayer.

I find myself feeling irritated and know instinctively that at some point this evening I've put my walls up. I do this when I am nervous, or worried about being vulnerable. I do this when my security feels threatened, even in the smallest measure. When I think someone or something might shake what little control I have, out of my hands, I tend to grip it even tighter. And it seldom ever really works. For I know there is very little that I truly have control over. Especially when I try to live my life centered in Gods Will. Those times when I determine to do my own thing, follow my own will instead of the One whom I gave my heart and soul to, are the times that the control I think I own, becomes even more slippery. Life always goes better when I allow His Will and His Control to rule and I just line up with it and rest in in.

But for the past little while, I've been slowly slipping back into old habits, unhealthy thought practices, and the outcome has become a hardening heart. It doesn't feel tender, but it does feel fragile. Hard hearts can shatter but a soft heart can bounce. I am lost in my thoughts and ticking off my list of grumbles and complaints instead of listening, really listening and praying along with, my brothers and sisters gathered here this warm spring evening.

As our prayer time continues, I shake myself mentally. I want to be a conscious part of this time together, not just a huddle on the couch lost in my own agenda. I struggle to shake the negative thoughts away, to push down the irritations, in favor of tuning in to the prayer warrior who is now fervently calling to God.

I hear him pray to bind the enemy. That those Satan would lay hold of to trick and distract, would be rendered powerless. In an instant I know this prayer is for me. I am one of those whom the enemy wishes to bring down. He's done it before and will gleefully do it again.

Is doing it.

For I have been struggling to keep my head above water, spiritually speaking, for weeks now. My prayer life has been full of fits and starts. I'll try to pray and just sputter. My worship time has felt forced and empty. My bible reading has felt automatic, not real. I've not been fully engaged and it's evident. I feel it. I see it.

As my brother in Christ continues to pray, he has no idea that one of the people he prays freedom for, is sitting right across the room from him. That's ok. I know it. God knows it. My husband must sense it for when we were alone together in our room I told him I felt like I sucked at prayer right now. He's heard this from me a time or two and he never panics. He just nods with patience because he's experienced it himself-- as I am thinking we all do from time to time-- and he knows this will pass. But when you are the one in the doldrums, it can feel scary and icky.

The prayers continue and again this man asks-- no, commands-- that Satan leave God's chosen alone. I feel something hot and brief flash across my heart and immediately, feel a release. It is quick and it is subtle but it is real. A warmth begins to seep throughout my body and the tension that has filled my joints begins to melt away, the walls around my heart come crashing down. Prayers begin to tumble from my lips. Silent prayers, filled with heart.

Fake It Till Ya Make It.

Recently a friend was sharing with me that she seemed to be walking through a dry desert in regards to her spiritual walk with God. She said she yearns to be hungry and thirsty for more of Him and to feel excited and joy-filled by His Presence. But instead she is feeling lethargic about things... feelings of anxiety and dread seem to rise up as she approaches her place of worship. She doesn't want to feel this way and she is trying to figure out how and why she ended up in this dry and dark place. 

Her comments resonated with me... because too many times I have been in that place. Sometimes it was depression but after some deeper examination what I know is this.

I have learned that during those times of feeling down, discouraged, frustrated or blocked, the first step is to examine my heart and mind. 

1. Is there an unconfessed sin in my life that God wishes for me to deal with? 

Oh, this is the one I don't like very much. I don't usually have to look very far to find it.... but it still isn't much fun. 

2. Is there someone in my life that I might be harboring resentment or unforgiveness towards? 

In the past I had a lot of resentment towards several people. And yes, even now I have to admit there are people in my life who I have (had) issues with and I have had to deal with those-- or rather, allow the Holy Spirit to deal with ME in regards to those!! (maybe I will share how that happened in another post) 

BUT WHAT IF there doesn't seem to be any unresolved issues that are standing in my way of experiencing all the fullness of JOY that comes from being with Jesus? What then?

I have to say, I don't know why we go through these times of feeling far away or feeling less than joy-filled. It bothers me a lot to realize how complacent about Jesus and my faith I sometimes feel.

Just this past Sunday during the worship service at my church I was impressed with a word or two from the Holy Spirit. It has to do with that adage "Fake it till you make it." 

While the Holy Spirit didn't say those words exactly, what He did do was to remind me of some things.

God says for us to have faith. But faith requires action. When Jesus healed people he always issued a command of some sort that required action. When he healed the lame man, he said "Rise up and walk!" and THEN the healing took place as the man obeyed his command. 

I can't think of anytime in scripture where Jesus spoke healing and that person waited and watched the healing take place before getting up and doing his thing. It always took place as the person stepped out in faith. He instructed the man with the withered hand to stretch out his hand. I am assuming that a withered hand would have a hard time stretching but the man did it in obedience and faith and as he stretched it the healing happened. 

This is what I think God wants us to do in the times of feeling down. First, ask Him to give you more joy. Ask Him, as my friend is doing,  to make you hungry and thirsty for more of Him. But then, don't sit and wait for the joy to bubble up inside of you. Start acting joy-full even if you don't feel it. 

Because in the action you display your faith that God is gonna honor your request. It is God's desire that we'd want more of Him so this is a request he will not deny. But I believe it does require us to show action. 

This past Sunday when  I went to church, I didn't feel so great. I had been nursing a sick headache since the day before and I almost stayed home. I also was feeling pretty tired emotionally that morning and the music was too loud and the Pastor was too bubbly and all these people wanted to hug me.... !!!

I was feeling all icky and irritated... and then I felt the Spirit nudge me... and I have learned to honor those nudges otherwise they turn into big shoves... so I responded to the nudge by opening my mouth to sing, raising my hands to praise -- acting in obedience.  Yep, the fake it till ya make it. 

But here's the great amazing thing:  in those action steps, God always meets me! 

That's right.... I didn't have to fake it for very long.

You know what I think?? Don't be shocked but I think God likes to dance and He waits for us to take a step and then He steps and then we step together and soon we are waltzing around the room.  Maybe we even do the jitterbug or boogie!! Whatever. The point is, faith requires action and if we are asking God to fill us with joy, then we need to start acting like that request has been filled. Show our faith in Him! 

Remember good ol' Peter and how he stepped out of the boat to walk on the water with Jesus? He'd never done that before. He didn't know anything about walking on water and how it was done! He just wanted to be with Jesus and so out he leapt. Have you heard this expression (which I love)  "If you wanna walk on water, you gotta get outta the boat!

Faith always requires action. Are you struggling with something in your spiritual walk? Examine your heart. Ask for more of Jesus and then get out there and meet Him! And maybe even bring your dancing shoes. 

Trust, Try, Talk... The Results

I  wrote the other day that in the wee small hours of the morning, in one of my quiet unguarded moments, God whispered to me, some words that I  have been clinging to and living by. You can read all about that moment here. I want to now share what happens when we live by faith and not by fear.

If you don't want to hop over to read that post I will give you the short version. God told me three things: Trust. Try. Talk.

So, I pondered on this all day Monday and came up with a plan. I figured the least I could do was ask for this, regardless of what I thought would be the reality of the situation. 

Oh, ye of little faith....

On Tues, fortified with prayers, I went over and spoke with my boss. I told him I was released to return to work for July 1st but I did not think I was able sustain a 6 day work week. But I really did not want to quit. I like my job. What about a compromise? What if I shortened my work week? 

He cocked his head, curious, I could tell.  I forged on. 

What about if I just work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, when the volume of mail is the heaviest. And I could work Saturdays. 

I could see his wheels turning so I remained silent, giving him time to think. He finally nodded and said, "We could try this."  

I think my knees buckled slightly because I truly didn't think he'd ever go for this given the way our government entities like to complicate things and a myriad of crazy other reasons, lol.

As we talked a little bit more I sensed he was thinking this is a temporary- ease -my- way back- into- work where as I am thinking this is the way it should be! So I know there will be another discussion somewhere down the road but for now I feel this is a situation I can manage! Hallelujah!  

Why are we so surprised when God answers our prayers like this? Shame on us for our lack of trust. My friend suggested she could hear a little Holy Chuckle going on somewhere however as God delights in giving us the best things possible. 

I find I am using those three words as a mantra right now. Trust. Try. Talk. Good words to put into practise. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and He will direct your path. Proverbs 3. 5-6

Pressed Down and Running Over

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Luke 6:38

When I read this verse the image comes to my mind is that of a French press coffee maker.... and if you are a coffee connoisseur like me, you may agree that a french press happens to make some of the best coffee ever... I see the coffee being compacted tightly as the press comes down and  water seeps through the grounds and then at just the right time, out pours some of the richest, most delicious brew.... 


I'm still processing yesterdays surprise blessings. I am thinking of the song by the Gaithers' that goes "I can never, never out love the Lord." He gives and keeps on giving. 

I don't know why I have had to endure this period of turmoil. I am strong in my faith, rock solid in my belief that God always comes through, with gifts of love and provision that are more than I can imagine. His ways are not our ways and you would think I would rest in this, knowing what He decides for me is always better than what I might chose for myself. 

I think I have been in the press. Being squeezed tight till just the right time.... 

In one fell swoop, God effectively removed my objections. I told Bruce I just couldn't bring myself to sanction this mission trip unless he had a way to cover not only all the trip expenses but the lost wages for that time as well. We had no idea how that would happen... I mean, we are both working now and things have been so much more stable... but we're not overflowing in money for goodness sake! We are still pinching and budgeting and doing without on things. But here comes God, with his immeasurable love and provision... pressed down, shaken together and POURED OUT INTO OUR LAPS.

Here's what happened today... the power bill and the water bill arrived... and for some reason I can't quite figure other than we have been having to pay bills a little later than due each month, when I paid them last month, I over paid. Ever done that? You think you owe more than you really do because the new bill arrived without showing your last payment and even though you do the math you still get the wrong amount so you pay it... and the next cycle of bills come and...

it shows a ZERO balance owed.

ZERO.  I don't owe anything on my water or power bill, which aside from my house payment are usually my 2 biggest monthly expenses. 

Of course this was God orchestrating things. I am not this clever. 

So.... What can I say to a God like that? 

thank you. oh, how I thank you. Inadequate words but oh so very true.

And.... What else can I do but turn to my husband and say....  Um, honey? you know that blessing I just couldn't give you? well.... um.... this is hard but..... okay.... I'm giving it.... now, truth be told.... I'm still feeling kinda scared and unsure about this whole you being gone for so long so would you just hold me and assure me that it's really gonna be alright? 

(reader friends, you can pray for both of us... his safety for this trip, my peace of mind while he's away)

choking on a chicken bone

It was a scary moment.

While eating our delicious dinner last night, one I slaved over (if one can slave when cooking in a crock-pot) something very unexpected and frightening occurred. My husband swallowed a small piece of chicken bone.

Now, I have to say that when you cook any meat in a crock-pot, the meat literally MELTS off the bone! I had thrown in 2 frozen chicken hind quarters that morning along with a jar of sweet n' sour sauce. It smelled divine! I scooped out the tender juicy meat shaking the bones to the bottom of the pot, taking only the meat to the platter. Or so I thought. Only a few bites into the meal, my husband suddenly looked stricken!

He croaked out "Chicken bone stuck in my throat."

I laid down my fork and waited. He tried unsuccessfully to dislodge it with his fingers... the bone was too far back in his throat... but upon suggesting it, not so far back that a Heimlich maneuver was the answer. I stood up, unsure of what to do to help him. He did some not so pretty coughing and-- um-- well--- retching is probably the best way to describe it but that bone wasn't moving. He could breathe and he could talk but he could feel the bone poking the sides of his throat and he felt the need to swallow, knowing if he did it would send the bone down further, which is NOT the direction we wanted it to go.

I felt very helpless and I know Bruce was feeling helpless too. I laid one hand on his back and prayed simply but strongly for Jesus to intervene. I don't even really remember what I said but what matters is that Jesus heard me. In the next second a gagging cough expelled the wretched bone.

It was just a tiny tiny bone, a fragment of one actually, but it had a very pointy end and it had lodged sideways in his throat. We shuddered over the what could have been and gave swift praise to God for delivering him from something life threatening.

I am aware of so many loved ones around me struggling with issues bigger and scarier than a chicken bone. I feel like I could be on my knees in prayer from sunup to sundown. I find myself breathing short little puffs of prayer as a name comes to mind. I don't know how God will work things out but I am sure that He is listening. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love... as it says in Romans 8:38... neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow, not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love.

and another wonderful promise just 10 verses above this one.... 
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

I am trusting in His promises. which means that...

neither chicken bones nor mission trips, neither financial security, nor lost wages, neither having sure answers nor facing unknowns will separate us from the Love of God. Whether I understand it or not, whether I have solid answers or walk in blind faith, God has my best interest -- and yours-- at heart.