Defining Moments

"Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: 
find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human."

~Anthony Robbins

 
This morning, with the sunshine gloriously streaming through the windows, my husband waiting on me (for a change) so we could leave for church, I whirled through my morning routine of 'what to wear today.' I wanted to wear a skirt; I chose my black and white floral patterned one. I grabbed a tank top but it felt too skimpy for church. I looked for my lime green t-shirt-- love the way it 'pops' with the black and white. Alas the green T was in the wash. My next choice was an orange V neck which I love. I just wasn't sure about the pairing but once I put it on I decided I liked it and now with hubby "A-hem-ing" at the bottom of the stairs, I didn't have time to change. I raced down to join him and away we went.

Why did I waver on wearing orange with black? I can tell you why; not 10 minutes after we arrived at church a friend commented that she liked that color (orange) on me and she would never be brave enough to pair orange and black because it seemed so 'halloweenish'
Aha! Exactly! That was the thought that flashed through my mind as I ran down the stairs.

Funny how we let certain situations (or people) define us. This same friend said she loves the color red and with a birthday on Valentines Day, she decided one year to buy herself this beautiful red dress. But when she put it on and came out of her room her mother said (and we can all hear our mom's voice on this one) "Your not wearing THAT are you?"
My friend took the red dress back to the store and exchanged it for something more sedate.

I wish we could all be brave enough to express ourselves. Appropriately of course. But so often we let what other people think define us. We shouldn't wear that, or we should wear this.

My mom made a lot of my clothes for me when I was in grade school. And I remember one time choosing this very FUN material-- it was actually kinda crazy-- all sorts of primary colors and it had cheery little graphics on it-- pigs and balloons and !! exclamation points. it was kind of a down on the farm -mod squad-Laugh In combo and I thought it was awesome! The outfit was a 2 piece; top and bottoms. I couldn't wait for Mom to finish it so I could wear it to school.

I wore it once.

Why? Well, because the very first day I wore it, some snotty little classmate laughed at me and my outrageous outfit. And suddenly I saw how ridiculous the material was. When I got home I shoved the outfit in the back of my closet and never wore it again.

As a grown up, I decided not to let others influence me this way. One day, while thrift shopping I found these very cute pants. They were made up of many different squares of silk-- each a different color and pattern. They looked ethnic. I fell in love with them on the spot and bought them. And I wore them a lot.

Until one day one of my closest friends, upon seeing me in them for her first time, blurted "Those are the most god-awful things I've ever seen! I can't believe you are wearing them!!"  I felt the smile freeze on my face as I choked back a retort.

I kept them in my closet for another couple of years, pulling them out every so often and wearing them around the house but when it was time to leave, changing into something less bold. Finally, I sent them on to the consignment store.

I like bold colors. I like pastels. I go through clothes as my mood changes. Bright primary colors in the summer and fall, pastels in the spring and a lot of black in the winter. And sometimes I like to wear something with a little 'pop' to it.

One of the oldest friends I have (and by old I mean, length of time not age) initiated a friendship with me because she saw me wearing my red Ked's and thought anyone who wears red shoes has to be a lot of fun!

I look at my mom, wearing her sock monkey slipper on her good foot and I understand where I get my streak of creativity. I may tone things down from time to time because the situation calls for it but underneath my sedate black sweater I might just be wearing a fire engine red bra or a polka dotted one. I might change my clothes a dozen time before meeting a friend for coffee, finally settling on the safe paring of blue jeans and white t-shirt rather than being brave enough to wear a leopard print negligee under a pink cardigan.

I wrestle with these moments. I should be confident enough by now to wear what feels good and get rid of anything that smacks of boring. I should feel free to ask the spa attendant to paint my toenails all a different color for once. I should get up and karaoke next time I have the chance.

Life is too short and to important to let those defining moments hold us captive. Defining moments should instead be about being set free.

Spread your wings today and write your own definition!