As mentioned in a previous post, I received a wonderful email from a very treasured friend the other day. This was on a heels of a delightful visit with her in which she listened intently with her heart as she always does. I ended up sharing with her about the recent 'sucker punch' I'd experienced. Her love and affirmations were such a balm and I knew God had given her the perfect words to say to me that day. Then she reminded me of a period of hurt she had gone through and what God had given her to help her work through it. She promised to send me a copy of the words she had written down based on that and in addition has given me permission to share that here. She calls it W.R.O.N.G.E.D. which is an acronym for 7 steps of forgiveness that have helped her immensely. I am reading and re-reading through it and letting the words soak in deep as I pray through the steps. I share it, with her encouragement, hoping it also helps another on the road to recovery.
~Steps to Forgiveness~
W- Willingness to forgive. This is definitely the first step to the forgiveness process. I have to be willing to forgive knowing that Jesus forgave me so much, and who am I to hold onto it. The fact that Jesus says that if we do not forgive men their sins against us, our Father won’t forgive us, but if we do then He will - that is a strong motivator for my willingness to forgive. It is a good place to start.
R- Recognize that they didn't intentionally mean to do damage to me. That they are wounded people who have not the capacity to see the hurt they have caused. They are so caught up in their own pain that they projected it onto me. Recognize that Hurting People Hurt People. I have to get to the point where I can see them through Jesus eyes and say from my heart like He did to His murderers, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they are doing". I am trying very hard not to take it personally. It is not necessarily about me.
O- Offer up all the pain. I have to take this heart breaking pain and take it to the cross and put it into a giant trunk that sits there. I have to keep coming back over and over to dump my pain in. All the pain of feeling that I have failed as a person. The grief that I am suffering that says I wasted my time, love, energy and life on this one who has so damaged me. When the trunk is full I will put a huge lock on it and bury it there at the foot of the cross. My trunk is getting close to being full.
N- Navigate the emotions. I see myself in this forest of my emotions that I am lost in and Jesus comes along and says, "Walk with me through these emotions, I will tell you where you need to turn and I will take you out of the forest and all the emotions of sadness, confusion, anger, bitterness, disappointment, discouragement, and despair will not trap you anymore. Jesus shows me the way to get out of the forest of emotions.
G- Give grace generously. I have to remember that "she who has been forgiven much, loves much". I want to be the kind of person that can give out of the overflow that has been given to me. Grace is that unmerited favor that none of us deserves, yet we have been given so freely. Give it away.
E. Expect deliverance. I cannot allow the enemy to rob me of any more of this precious life that God has given to me by tormenting me with this lie. I expect that He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world. I expect that his tactics to take me out of the game are his feeble attempt to de-rail what God wants to do through me in this life, I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS ANY LONGER, AND TODAY I EXPECT DELIVERANCE, IN THE NAME OF JESUS!!!
D. Delight in the JOY OF THE LORD!!! Restore to me the joy of my salvation and renew a right spirit within me. He is my joy and my delight, and in His Presence I find everything I need. When I am not delighting, that means that I have slipped out of the Presence and allowed the enemy to slip in. REMAIN DELIGHTING!!!
my deepest appreciation to my lovely friend C.T. who shared this with me.
It's blessing me... and I hope it, as I do all my blog posts, blesses those who read it.