If you have ever gone to the gym and done a vigorous workout, or started any new exercise program, you will know what I mean when I reference the jello-ey feeling in your legs as you stagger your way to the shower. When I started working at Curves last winter and hit those machines after months of being away from them, I certainly felt the ache, even as I welcomed it. Same with walking. This fall I began walking again and I try to log in 2-3 miles every day. When I skip a day or two and try to hit the 3 mile mark the first day out, I never quite make it. I have to turn around at my 1 mile marker and head back to the house. I recently was given an exercise bike and since I use it only when the weather is just too nasty for a walk, and it uses muscles in a different way, I come away from that feeling wiped. But I value that feeling of invigoration as the endorphins kick in and I like knowing my body is getting stronger and my jeans are fitting better. Exercise is good. I am making my muscles stronger.
My faith muscle is getting a real workout again too. We are moving into the winter season where work is progressively slower especially in construction. Every year we go through this but the last couple of winters, in our present economy, it's been tougher than most. We barely squeaked through October and now here comes November and we've got trouble. I won't start my new job for another week and it will be 3 weeks out from that start date before I see a paycheck. Bruce has a few jobs lined up for the month but they are short turnarounds meaning the money comes in fits and spurts. It adds an extra layer of challenges to sitting down at the desk to pay bills when you need to collect money all month before you have enough to send it in all the directions it needs to go.
Next month is our mission trip to Costa Rica to work at the children's home there. We've been planning this since last spring. We are so excited to go and we are so grateful and amazed at how God is orchestrating things. Our airfare has already been purchased and we have raised the money for the materials for the needed repairs. Funding for our lodging, meals and ground transport is a worry I try not to dwell on. Every time we have gone on missions the funding has come through and I try to rest in that. Still, with the constant pressure to find ways to pay the regular monthly expenses it does wear at me when I think about the lump sum needed to make this trip happen.
Aaagh, I know you have walked through this with me before, dear readers. God is faithful. He supplies our needs in amazing ways!! I guess my concern-- complaint if I am truly honest, is the constant living in "Crisis Mode" that wears me down. Like those muscles that are left shaky after a good workout, my Faith Muscle feels shaky too. I know it's being strengthened and this is good but wow, some days I am left panting, exhausted, desperate for rest.