Monday, October 17, 2011

(ANTI) depression

I am going on record to say I am 100% opposed to depression. I guess that would make me anti-depression.

Wait. Isn't that the little pill I have been taking faithfully for the last 5 years?

My story about my struggle with depression is not so radically different from any other person on the planet who has also struggled with this illness. The black hole that sucks energy, enthusiasm, and interest in things around us and replaces it with lethargy, frustration and sometimes anger had been circling my hemisphere for quite some time before it finally pulled me in.

I point directly to the stress in my life at that time. Job strain, family circumstances, relational issues and one too many helpings of all of those things being served at the same time. And it wasn't the first time I had to take medication to bring me back to an even keel. But this was probably the darkest, deepest level I had ever navigated. It took a long time and a lot of trial and error with prescriptions to find the right combination to bring me back to a place of balance.

Oh. And prayer. That was the kicker for me.

and now after 5 plus years of my morning happy-pill, I am really ready to be done.

I have eliminated many of the stress factors from my life. I no longer own my own business -- and in fact spent a good year working on recovering my health. (Ironic isn't it that I owned a health club and I had to get rid of that to regain my own health. that says a lot about what I was -- and wasn't--wired for!)

The family/relational issues have been smoothed out and my spiritual connection with God is stronger.  I learned along the way to take my vitamin D (I think probably everyone in the PNW is V-D3 deprived!) exercise, eat right, practice a balanced lifestyle ..... and stay in The Word and on His Path.

I still have my low-energy days, days of feeling anti-social but I chalk that up to my introverted personality needing recharge time, more than to a mood disorder. In praying about this I think I am being shown that the right time for weaning off the med has arrived.


  1. I can relate, my doctor just put me on an increased dosage of Vitamin D for a deficiency and I'm on a very mild anti-depressant/sleep aid. It's truly helped me to sleep at night. I'm one of those people that has trouble getting my brain to shut off at night.

    I think that it's great that you have been able to reduce the stressors in your life. Good luck with your plan! :)

  2. I'm at least half an introvert myself--and can totally relate to needing time away from people. You sound objective, rational, and faithful in your self-assessment. Can't get better than that.

  3. i am right there with you! keeping you in my prayers as you go off these aids! i'm like dandelion fleur...i'm on them to get sleep... part of my fibromyalgia regiment. not my time to get off them yet but i cheer you on!


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