Six Decades

 Today is my last day of being 59. 

Yup. tomorrow is my birthday and I will officially be SIXTY. 

6 decades. yipes!

6-0.

YIPES. 

Actually since I have been technically living out my 60th year for 364 days now, with tomorrow signifying the completion of my 60th year and the beginning of the next one I can't pretend to be in shock about the number. And as usual I'd rather confess my age than my weight so there's that.

say what????

I am in a reflective mood however. I am thinking back on the past 6 decades and trying to categorize them.

Those first 10 years of life is just learning how to function in the world. Walking, talking, dressing ones self, learning to share, read, write, do math. Growing up on a farm there were chores to do, year round so learning to be responsible goes in the mix.

baby robin just out of the nest

winter time fun!

From 10-20 a lot can happen..... those tumultuous teen years, rebellious and sulky. Learning what can propel you forward and what can set you back. You make a decision and face the consequences good or bad.

grumpy in the morning... nothing's changed....

its too blurry to read but my T shirt says
  "if you don't like my peaches don't shake my tree."
shaking my head...

 I became a mom in my 20's so that 3rd decade from 20-30 was full of all sorts of growing  experiences. I faced many truths in that decade such as parenting is both rewarding and disappointing, and always a challenge. I had to accept that my marriage was a sham. 

pregnant with baby #2 and cuddling my first born

my daughter, baby #2

That made the next decade between 30-40 a time of fighting for my rights, acknowledging many lies and truths and navigating the sometimes hidden path to healing. It also brought something beautiful in my relationship with God, and a man who loves and cherishes me.

the beginning of feeling free

From 40-50 life was pretty sweet. Building new relationships, testing the waters of real adulthood. Finding my voice in an equal as a wife, as a business partner, as a leader in my church. Being a grandma, establishing a new path with my adult children. Overcoming PTSD, but learning to embrace depression and accept limitations. To be sure there have been many MANY bumps along the way. But so much opportunity for growth, forgiveness, healing. 

This last decade has really been about living in faith I think. We went through some real financial hardships, loss of relationships, changes-- big ones-- and I think the focus for me has been on trusting and acceptance. Trusting God to provide our every need. Trusting my husband in his decisions. Trusting others and allowing them to get close to me. Accepting more fully the nagging depression and making peace with it. Figuring out how to strike a balance in life that keeps me on an even keel-- keeps me stable. 

happiness is good but joy is better!

It brings me to today and a celebration of what I have learned, accomplished, conquered!

That shy, insecure, nail biting, bed wetting little girl with the dark circles under her eyes has now become a pretty confident woman if I do say so myself. 

some days I still see her 

And that really brings me to the main thing I feel I have learned over 6 decades of living. 

CONFIDENCE.

It's a journey. We are not typically born with self confidence. But it can be learned. It requires stepping out in faith. doing it afraid regardless of how you feel. Being stretched until it hurts but finding such a reward for doing so. 

choose to shine!

I am comfortable in my own skin. I like myself. I may not be proud of everything I've done and there are still days I let anxiety rule and depression threaten to take me down but it will never take me out. 

happy birthday to me!