Four years ago my heart splintered as I watched the truck and u-haul that carried my daughter, son-in-law and 3 precious grandchildren, and their belongings, pull out of our driveway.
my daughter and i have had our fierce times. our good times. laughing together. dancing in the rain together. crying together. screaming matches. (not my favorite memories) slamming doors, slamming hearts. but always, always, she has been my baby girl. no matter what choices she has made, or choices i have made, we are and always will be mother and daughter. unbreakable bond.
We live in the north-westest corner of the USA. They moved to Florida. Not someplace you can just hop in the car and drive to.....
For 4 years we have talked about visiting. It is easier for us to go to them in terms of travel arrangements. Several plans were dashed by the evil nemesis known as finances. unforeseen expenses. unplanned emergencies. unwanted hardships. "not this holiday. maybe next" was something I said so often I wanted to scream.
Now. Now the time is here. No more next times. This is our time. Now.
Through a set of circumstances that I can only thank God for, our time to visit them is now. We were blessed with a windfall that allows us to go and spend the first part of June with my grandchildren and their mommy.
In my heart I am dancing.
In my brain I am second guessing our choice.
I have shared openly the bumpy road we've been on the last long while. And the amazing ways God has worked to keep us in one piece. Using family, friends and circumstances to bless us, encourage us, support us. How can I thank all of those who have been there for us? We didn't deserve it, we didn't quite know how to act when people stepped in to help us. And we don't take these things lightly. Like Mary, we treasure these things in our hearts.
I suppose the frugal responsible thing to do when this blessing arrived would have been to pay more bills. But a dear dear friend said to us the other night, in a catchy little paraphrase "the bills you will always have among you..."
"but family trumps everything." I finished.
So, I will gladly forgo some things we need (but can live without) and wait on other things for however long we must wait and do without. Because in a little over 30 days, I am going to see my family. My babies.
My heart sings.
My heart soars.
Indeed, my heart is already there.