One of the things Bruce and I almost always do on the drive home from church each week is discuss the points of the sermon and what we felt God was speaking to us in that.
Yesterday what we both got out of the Sunday sermon was that sometimes our circumstances wont change until our attitude does.
So we've been checking ours.
Do we have an attitude of gratitude even as we stack those unpaid bills on the desk?
Do we have an attitude of expectancy as we wait on the Lord to meet our needs?
Do we leave God-Room for every situation?
Well, I'd like to say YES!! But in all honesty, we struggle every day to be joyful, hopeful and grateful. We ARE grateful for the surprises that come from unlikely benefactors. We are amazed at how God uses others to bless us.
But are we grateful, truly GRATEFUL for the CIRCUMSTANCES that have us in this situation in the first place?
Are we grateful for CIRCUMSTANCES make us so utterly dependent on God to supply our needs?
Honestly? I can't say I would answer yes to that one all the time. And I want to be able to. So attitude check time. And attitude adjustment time.
Lord, I WANT to really truly be GRATEFUL, not just for how you supply all my needs but for the very fact that I am in a situation where I have to depend on you and your greatness to meet those needs. Not just grateful for benefactors who show up on my doorstep and shove a twenty in my hand mumbling that they felt led to give this to me, not just grateful for the fact that this $20 will buy me gas for a few more days, but grateful for the fact that I am in this place of poverty in the first place. And who in their right mind thanks God for being poor?
Yet, if this is the will of God for me today, then who am I to discard it, reject it or even resent it? Lord Jesus, forgive me for this bad attitude. I repent here and now of my pity-party attitude that has me sinking into despair and depression and fear. YOU have a plan for my life and its for GOOD, (Jeremiah 29.11--it says prosperity in some versions) not for evil. Your plans include HOPE.
You have my best in mind. You see and know things I can't. I trust you. I know you want what is best for me. So, even though I don't understand it, and may not like it, I will give thanks for it. And with your help Jesus, may I even find joy in my circumstances.
Joy and Thanksgiving. I think I have found the words to live by for 2012.