Friday, February 24, 2012

apathy

have you ever noticed that the word apathy contains part of the word pathetic?

blame it on the rain
or the seasonal allergies/cold
that has settled into my ears for the last week and a half,
blame it on the economic crisis in our own home,
blame it on disappointments,
fear
or frustrations.
blame it on ALL of the ABOVE.
whatever.
but I have been dealing with a sh*t load of apathy in my life.
and it's making me feel pathetic.

i don't want to
clean
or cook
or (shudder)
even bLOG!
i am tired,
cranky and
easily exhausted by
just the sight of an unmade bed,
a pile of laundry
or a sink full of dishes.

I don't want to
return phone calls,
run errands
or go anywhere.

what i do want to do is
stuff my face with
sugary treats,
high carbs
and drink lots of coffee.
I want to take naps,
read a book
or watch the rain beat against the deck.

honestly, this almost feels like drifting back into a depressive state and
I AM NOT GOING TO GO THERE.

so maybe this will run it's course.
we have plans for this weekend, to attend a marriage conference at church... starting tonight and running thru Sat. i am looking forward to that.

meanwhile... that coconut macaroon looks mighty tasty.

2 comments:

  1. My DEAREST sister in Christ I know how horrible those feelings are to us women who usually have things in order, we need to give ourselves permission to let things go and let God come into our darkness and bring us light. Enjoy yourself this weekend, the best things in life are the things we have to look forward to that bring us happiness.
    Sending you blessings

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For some reason I can't leave my own comment, but what Janice said is good. Praying for you, dear Robyn. You've been strong during the last months, keeping the faith--a dip does not undo any of it. Sometimes apathy gives us a chance to recharge. Love you, Robyn.

      Delete

thank you so much for taking time to read and comment! have a great day!