Love, in it's Purest Form

There are so may fine blogs out there that I consider it a pure joy when I find one that really resonates, inspires, motivates and challenges me. I just recently discovered this one and just in time to join in the 31 days of love marriage challenge. I am not sure if I will blog about what the challenge teaches me every day because to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I will stick with it the whole 31 days... I know I am great at starting out strong.... and not always finishing.... but I find it fitting to at least start this New Month with a post pertaining to the 1st day of the challenge.

In it's Purest form the answer to the first-- and second question, is: Love is patient, kind, not jealous, boastful or proud. Love does not demand it's own way. Love is not irritable and keeps no record of wrong. it is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. 


The tougher question is #3. Where do I stumble when it comes to loving? Oh, boy. I'm not always very patient or kind but where I really fall down is in demanding my own way. If there is one area that my husband and I clash in, repeatedly, it's the age old struggle for control. I see this play out EVERY SINGLE TIME we step into ministry together. We both have creative ideas and we both tend to be a bit sensitive about them. I agree with and I want my husband to fully own his role as identified in scripture, as spiritual head of the household. 

In theory. 


Reality is another story. Shoot. Who am I kidding? I want CONTROL!! I could blame this desire on the fact that in my former life, when I was being held captive by  married to the other guy, I had no control over anything in my life at all. And that would be fair, right? But if love keeps no record of wrong and I want to love like Christ loves, then I can't use this as an excuse. No in all honesty, my stubborn streak dates all the way back to childhood. (I can hear my sister giving a hearty "Amen" on that one!!)  And it is an area I struggle with not just in my marriage. 


It's all about Surrender, really. Have I fully surrendered EVERY area of my life to the One who gave me life? We don't like to talk about surrender anymore than we like the other S word, submission, but that's what it comes down to. Am I living in submission to God's Word and will for my life? 


Time and time again when I take a spiritual inventory, this is the one that jumps out and bites me. I'm still holding on tightly to my own stubborn will, my own way of doing things. 


They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So the last question in today's challenge freaks me out a little bit. I know what the steps are I need to take toward change. Give it to God. Surrender. Fully. Completely.  


oh. 


God, are you tired of hearing me pray this prayer? Help me. Change me. I mean it this time. Here, here are all the pieces....    no really, that's all of them.    What?    Hiding one? I don't know what you're talking about Lord. I gave them all to you....   oh. that one. Um... well it's just such a little piece really. You're sure you want that one?     But, but, what if I like, need it for something?        I don't know, like the next time I feel scared, or threatened. Like someone's gonna try and take something away from me.      You'll take care of it?    Oh. OK. Um, but could I help you carry it? We can keep it right here, in my pocket, it will be yours honest, but I could carry it for you and ...    Oh, Lord, I don't like that look on your face. I don't like making you look so sad. OK, it's yours. Here. 100%. I mean it this time. Help me. Change me. 


And so it goes.