second thoughts

In April I wrote my vision statement and mission statement. It was in short, about my goals as far as writing goes. I still feel this is true. I still believe my vision is to be a Recorder of Truth, writing stories to help point people to the Way, the Truth and the Life: Jesus.

Since my job ended in April, I have been living intentionally, making sure that each week I have some sort of social outreach or contact happening. Coffee Dates sound like fun and they are but I have been intentional about planning them for 2 reasons.

1. I like coffee. JK> I mean I DO like coffee and I like getting together with girlfriends for this purpose but really, it's the fellowship and support we can offer each other that makes the date special.

2. the Second Reason is because if I am not intentional about social get togethers I will slide into my little comfortable, safe, hermit mode and while that may seem all well and good on the surface, deep down I know that too much hermit-likeness is not good for me. And when I acknowledge that God created me on purpose for a purpose, then I have to ask what good are my gifts if I keep them to myself. (hiding your light under a bushel?)

All this wonderful social activity and the realization of how much I need to be proactive about maintaining this has made me question is what I wrote on my mission statement was everything I wanted or needed to have in it. And I think it would be ok to add an addendum or even have 2 missions. One for the introverted me and one for the extroverted me.

I have also had second thoughts today about the job.... as I have stared at this very intensely thorough application and found myself questioning why they need that particular piece of information, I have started to question if this job really will be a good fit for me. Maybe it's just the application process and the job won't involve this much detail, but if I am irritated and overwhelmed by this part of things, what does that say about me and this particular occupation?

Now it could be this is a hoop I need to learn to jump through with grace as rebellion and resistance have long been two strong characteristics that have not always worked in my favor. It could be this is part 2 of the refining process the Lord wants me to go through in maturing me some more.... 

I don't know. What I do know is that at this stage in life, I don't want to waste time. Mine or anyone else. I want to make every day count and I want each day to bring some sunshine and hope to each person I come in contact with. What's that bumper sticker about "Life is too short to...    drink cheap beer? dance with ugly men? read bad books? stuff a mushroom? to blend in? spend too much time with pessimistic people.

you know.... you only live once, but if you live it right once is enough... I wanna make sure I live it right.