A New Year to Conquer

 In late October of 2024 I realized how tired I felt. All the time. 

In early November I noticed how winded I was after the slightest exertion. Climbing the stairs. Making the bed. Laundry, housework, and walking the dog were all leaving me exhausted and short of breath. It wasn't normal-- was I that out of shape? I made an appointment to see my doctor. We talked about all my symptoms, and given my family's history of heart disease, he was concerned enough to do an EKG in his office, send me for labs and scheduled an MRI of my head and a stress test. The EKG was normal. the blood work looked good in all areas except my cholesterol reading was quite high. The MRI was to look for warning signs for a stroke and it came back normal as well. The next step was a stress test. It was quite physically challenging for me to do which honestly kind of alarmed me as I do walk a bit every day, we live in a 2 story house so climbing stairs a dozen times a day was common, yet here I was hanging on to that treadmill for dear life as the minutes ticked by. At the end of the test, as I sat gasping to regain normal breathing and have my blood pressure come back down, the technician consulted with the cardiologist. The results were intermediate risk for heart disease, so my Primary Care Dr referred me to the cardiologist for further testing. 

 In the cardio office another EKG was done. The Dr ordered a specific lab test to check for clots, scheduled me for a chest X ray and an echocardiogram. She ordered everything 'STAT" which added to my anxiety over what was going on. All the tests came back with nothing alarming to take note of. She then had me get a CT scan of my heart and lungs. That too looked normal although it did catch something on my liver that gave us pause. Not likely that its anything of significance and probably not at all connected to my symptoms of fatigue and Dyspnea (shortness of breath) But.... That lead to scheduling another MRI, with contrast, focusing on the liver. 

In the meanwhile, my daughter reminded me that she was sick with Covid in September, and I came down with what I called a fairly normal head/chest cold around the same time. Did I have Covid then? I didn't test so I really don't know but when I shared that with the doctors, they both went "ahhhh..... ok then...."  and at this point I guess we have all decided I am dealing with 'long covid'. Unfortunately, the medical field seems to know as much about long covid as they did about covid when it first came out. The "treatment" for long covid is wait and see, I guess. 

The MRI for my liver happens this coming week. Again, the doctor thinks it will show something totally benign, but it would forever bother me if we didn't test to see what's really going on.

So.... what does all this mean? Last year I wrestled with the news that I have arthritis in my spine, my knees, ankles, feet and hands. Probably my shoulders too given I've had two rotator cuff surgeries and a rebuild on the left shoulder. That was a hard pill to swallow as I have dreams of hiking the Camino de Santiago, and many other fun activities that already look less promising given the pain I live with most days. 

Why am I writing all of this? It's quite depressing when I think about all the recent health challenges and chronic depression is something I have dealt with most of my adult life. 

I am writing this because the Word of the Year that God has given me is "JOY". Apparently, joy is something I need to work on because it's not the first time He has given me this word! 

James 1:2-4 (NASB)

Consider it all JOY, my brothers and sisters when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete lacking in nothing.

Consider my trials joy.... let my faith be tested, gaining endurance, leading to perfect results... 

I have certainly endured many a trial in my 66 years! Trials that definitely robbed me of all joy, contentment, happiness and peace. But for faith in God, I would have completely crumbled long ago!

I am grateful that all my tests came back fairly normal.  Yes, I need to clean up my diet. (Apparently my love for butter and cream is coming back to bite me) and I need to try and remain as active as possible, even with all my aches and pains and fatigue. So I will find JOY in things. I will focus on the things that do bring me joy and I will find the joy in things that might not look so joyful!

Here's to be bright future, whatever lies ahead because I walk with the One who holds it.