sometimes I blame it on the moon. I find the insomnia hits me hardest when the moon is full. It's in sliver mode right now so I have to cast around for something else. I'll go with over stimulation and the need to unwind before I can fall asleep, but it's not working so great. It was a terrific day-- and I mean TERRIFIC!
My sweetie and I went snowshoeing. We feasted our eyes on phenomenal views, we sloughed through the snow, uphill and down, burning a ton of calories as we worked those muscles and I came home tired!! But we had company coming for dinner so napping was out of the question (and I'm a rotten napper anyway)
We had a wonderful time with our company, laughing and sharing. Then everyone went home and Bruce headed to bed and I tried... but my brain wouldn't shut off. So here I sit at 2am knowing that when the alarm goes off in 5 hours I will feel like I was robbed of some much needed sleep.
sometimes I wonder if the reason I'm awake is so I can pray. So, then I think, I should try that... and I can't keep on track. It's kind of like snowshoeing, really. I used trekking poles to help me stay balanced and it gives a little extra oopmf when climbing uphill and a little extra whoa when heading down. I wanted to keep my eyes on my glorious surroundings but I needed to also keep my eyes on the trail, to be wise to the rise and fall of the snowline. I remarked to Bruce that I felt frustrated by the need to look down at where I was walking, when what I really wanted was to look around at where I was!
How is that like prayer, you ask?
Well... I have this tendency, like I said, to not stay on track when I am praying. I go strong for a few minutes and then I want to look around in my mind for other concerns... which leads me to new thoughts and those thoughts connect to other thoughts and then I remember something else and pretty soon I'm not watching where I'm walking and I lose my balance and think I am going to fall and I realize I'm not praying and I'm not enjoying the scenery either.
This is the kind of rambling my brain does at 2 in the morning.
Still, it was an amazing beautiful day and a great way to kick start a brand new month. Sleep will come eventually. And even a few moments in prayer are better than none at all.