I mean that in more ways than one. We've been home a week, this is true but what a full week it has been.
My emotions still roll with turbulence.
last night I couldn't sleep so I scrolled through all the pictures from the trip. I played with some on PicMonkey which has added some fabulous editing and special effects. But mostly I was just sighing deeply over the sweet little faces of my grandchildren and relieving the moments.
When will I see them again?
I attended the memorial service for my cousin last Saturday and it was as I expected it would be, a beautiful, moving tribute to a dearly loved, highly respected, most treasured friend and family member. I re-connected with some cousins and aunties that I had not seen in years (and years and years) and even 'met' some relatives I had never met before. It made me sad for the time lost over the span of years.
I attended the planning meeting for my upcoming high school class reunion. I saw faces I had mostly only been seeing on Facebook, hearing laughter and stories that took my right back to the long narrow halls of Nooksack Valley High. I sat next to a woman who was one of my best friends from Jr. High to graduation and I marveled that we had so completely lost touch after high school that I knew nothing about her life now. How did she meet her husband, when did they get married, what did she go to college for?
How did that relationship slip away?
I like to think I am an optimist by nature. I prefer to think of the cup as half full, meaning I appreciate what is already there, but there is always room for more and I believe it will come. I think of people in my life who view the cup as half empty; something is always being taken away and no matter how much you pour in, it continues to seep out.
I think for people like this, the only thing that will fix that is Jesus. He is the only source that will keep filling and refilling our cups and no matter how much leaks out, He continues to pour in. I love when my relationship with Him is connected enough that my cup overflows. I have to seek this, I have to yearn for it. I don't have to work for it but I must truly want it.
I want a life filled with rich relationships. I want true friendship, true heart to heart connections with people and not that surface talk is wasted, but I want the moments to matter. I know that coffee with a dear friend sharing the secret longings, the heart aches, the celebrations of life is truly magical but I also know that being in the same room with someone, just sharing space and being comfortable in the silence is also a gift.
Yes, I have been wandering down the path of nostalgia this past week and it has been good for me. Take time, friends, to occasionally look back and appreciate what has been. Then, stand tall and look forward to what Good Gifts God will be bringing you on the 'morrow.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you a hope and a future."