I wrestle with the "if I could do things over I'd do this instead" syndrome quite frequently. I think when we have some tough stuff in our history that we know is a result of some bad choices we made, it is natural to wish we had a second chance so we could do it better this time. But all of the things that have happened to me, good or bad, the choices I made or didn't make, have made me who I am today. The real question then would be to ask myself "Do I like who I am today?"
Some days, most days, the answer to that is YES. But occasionally I have moments where I question my self and think dark thoughts and wish I had handled myself better or resisted certain things... said no instead of yes or yes instead of no.
Thank God for His Grace that allows me new beginnings and fresh starts!
Things I might be tempted to change if I could do it over again....
I would have turned out for the high school play. I would have turned out for track.
I would NOT have gotten married my senior year. I want to say I would have never married him period. But I have 2 children and how can I say I'd turn the clock back and make a different choice if it takes them away? Still, I wish I had known then what I know now.
I would have gone to college. Or at the very least trade school. I still can of course but I have to wonder where I would be in my writing 'career' if I had taken the journalism classes I dreamed about in Jr. High.
But life is too short to live in the regrets unless you are going to use them to fuel you forward in life now. I am where I am because of the road I took and I do like where I am. As for the things I might not like, I can change them. That's the beauty of it. I can change my circumstances or I can change my attitude. I really do have that power.
Sometimes it is really good to look back at where we were and where we came from. Look back and really examine and appreciate the past. It gives us a new appreciation for the present and an anticipation for the future.
|am I looking back or looking forward? or just sitting in the moment enjoying the view?|