I Can't Get No Satisfaction

My writing is not pleasing me. I want my blog to be significant. More than just a photo journal or what I did today, although those things are not out of line. But I also want to record deeper things, things that make us all think and that isn't happening all that much lately.

I want my stories, whatever short story I concoct, to bring pleasure. My words strung together like pearls on dross. That doesn't seem to be happening much either.

It's not writers block. I have ideas and thoughts and feelings bubbling up and over onto the page. I do not lack for words. It's just that my words are so many and the conveyance so vague. 

Yesterday I was driving to visit a friend and the little light came on on my dashboard that says 'low fuel' and as it did a light came on in my head reminding me that my car wasn't the only thing running on empty. When was the last time I sat in contemplative silence, read my bible, journaled and prayed, I wondered.

I got up before dawn on Sunday, our last day at the lake. I woke up around 4 and could not go back to sleep so I finally gave up, pushed off the covers and cast about for my flip-flops. I lit the gas stove and boiled water for a fine cup of pour over drip coffee. I took my coffee and a blanket and sat in my beach chair on a little sand dune, facing east and watched as the sun came up. And I was contemplative. I was prayerful. It was a holy moment and it carried me along all day. It was a fill up of premium gas in my spiritual tank.

But I am a gas hog when it comes to burning this kind of fuel. Sunday was a long time ago and this week of coming home and getting back into the groove has been difficult for some reason. And I have neglected my usual morning devotional time. No wonder my little tank is sputtering.

This morning I got up late and accepted the left over coffee in the pot that my husband made several hours ago. I was out of cream and the day was cold and wet looking. I sat in my living room chair and ignored the outside scenery because it was cold and wet looking. But I reached for my bible and flipped it open to read. I was only going to read one chapter but ended up reading several. I didn't journal but I did contemplate.

And now I sit here in my little library nook, wondering. The song "I can't get no satisfaction" is running through my mind and I am blogging hoping that pearls on dross will grace my page.