Friday, May 13, 2011


Two trips to town this week already and likely another to come if Mom has her way. I know I shouldn't grumble about the time I spend with my mother. I know I should appreciate every minute I have with her. It's so darn complicated sometimes though you know? Mother~daughter relationships......  Aaaagghhh!

That said, I am glad we are getting answers to what is wrong with my mom. She has been having so much pain lately and has been taking ibuprofen round the clock and pain killers so she can sleep. We have learned --via the MRI that she has compressed disc in her lower back and is likely pressing on a nerve, hence the pain. The disc compression-Degenerative bone disease- is something that just happens to some of us as we age. (lovely thought) My mom said to me on Wed. as I tried to help lug her from the bucket seat of my car to a standing position "Don't get old Robyn. It's the Sh*T's"  =0 
yes --- this from my 82 year old mother!! (who doesn't swear)

I will be taking her in next week for a cortisone injection and this should help alleviate the pain. This is more of an ordeal than it might sound. Mom is diabetic but in order to have this procedure she has to not eat for 6 hours before hand AND not take a full dose of her morning med's. Now, the nurses assure us this will be just fine but even after almost 20 years with the disease, my mother is still scared of her diabetes.

Does that sound unsympathetic? I know other people with diabetes and while they are careful and follow the rules religiously, they are in control of this disease, not the other way around.  Mom just can't relax about it and it seems to get worse as she ages. I am grateful she is able to manage her own med's as well as dress, feed, care for herself. She lives in an adorable apartment on my brothers property and while she does not drive anymore, she is able to live pretty much independently.  I want to see her continue to do this for as long as she can.  I have to be tough with her sometimes because if I let her, she will allow me (or push me) to make all the decisions for her. That isn't healthy and I think if she starts making that her MO, the independence quickly slips away and will be hard to regain.
 Mom is forgetful a lot of the time and will act like she does not understand things, and maybe sometimes that is for real. But let me tell you, she is sharp as a tack other times! Her favorite thing to do while riding in the car is read license plates and make up phrases based on the letters in the license. For example: the car ahead of us has a license plate that reads STH123. Quick as wink, mom says "steal that hat". She whips these out like hotcakes while I'm still trying to think of something for the first letter.

And joke with my husband? Oh she can sling some goofy stuff his way. He does love to tease her. I often have to remind myself to take a chapter from his book and treat mom with more of sense of humor. It is easier to laugh than to grumble. But I will find myself grumbling when she makes some comment. When I remember to not take it too seriously and can joke about things, my day goes a lot smoother and I earn less wrinkles and gray hair!!!

This seems like something wise to apply to every day of my life. Because a day without laughter is like a day without sunshine... and around the PNW, there are just too many of those....

1 comment:

  1. This is a great post and really shows the complex and complicated feelings and emotions involved in a Mother-Daughter relationship especially one that involves care giving responsibilities. Thank you for sharing and have a great weekend!


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